[faithy]

Hi everyone,

My LOs almost 5mths and I'm keen to get some advice re. sleeping when out-and-about. Her sleep is something that I feel anxious about as I know how unhappy/grizzly she gets if she doesnt get her nap/s. We've worked so hard on her sleep routine at home, and things are pretty good 90% of the time, but now I've found that she's struggling to sleep when we're at other people's places. As hard as I try, I can't do the usual routine of changing nappy-reading story-singing lullaby-putting her down and walk away, like I do at home with much success at all.

We were meant to go out for our anniversary just me and DH for a couple of hours yesterday however she would not sleep at my parents so it was canned. Today we were visiting family, and once again she would not sleep! I decided to take her for a walk in the pram where after 20mins or so fell asleep, but as soon as I went back in the house she was very wide-eyed and awake (she was EXHAUSTED though... it was around 6.30pm and she hadnt had slept properly since 12.30pm other then the car ride between visits).

I tried wrapping her and rocking her in my arms but she just cried and cried which is what she used to do until I discovered she prefered to just be put down.... so I put her down but the crying just escalated. I've tried just putting her down first but no difference. I tried lying next to her and just patting her... no success :-( (it wasnt for too long, only a couple of minutes, maybe I should have persevered?)

It's all understandably a new environment for her.. some family have suggested I introduce the dummy? We tried to begin with but she refused.. and now that she's sleeping mostly okay at home I dont see the point of introducing the dummy.

Any thoughts / ideas? Should I introduce the dummy for when we go out?

[Kay1]

I doubt the dummy will work now and personally if she's sleeping so well at home I wouldn't do it. Unfortunately some babies just don't sleep well anywhere but in their beds. Very inconvenient but it does get easier when they go down to one nap a day and you can plan around it.

Some suggestions: try a portacot. If you have one with solid walls there is less room visible for her to be distracted by a new environment. Try the normal routine you use at home. Perhaps put her to bed in the portacot in her bedroom a few times to get used to it.

Introduce a sleep cue that is portable, cd or ipod with the same song on it.

[Tisf]

This might not help you as everyone has different circumstances but unless it was really important we were always home when it was our little ones sleep time. Yes it can be inconvenient but not any more than a tired child and stressed out parent. I had lots of grief from friends because we wouldn't go out for dinner with them and take the baby or go to a party and put the baby to sleep in a strange bed or room. It was hard but it was the best thing for us and our little ones.

[KRT]

DS is another who likes to sleep by himself, in his own bed. We have very rarely had much success with patting, prams or cars. When we're out and about, I often don't bother trying for a nap and just try to power through.

If we do try for a nap, we use the portacot in as dark a room as we can get. I also put a sheet/muslin wrap over the portacot to block out as much distraction as possible. It does take longer, and involve more grizzling, but if I've picked the right time (sleepy, not overtired) he will usually go down to sleep. Going in and helping usually just makes him worse.

It is inconvenient not being able to put DS down for a sleep wherever, but he sleeps well enough at home and overnight. I'd take inconvenience over bad sleeping in general any day!

[faithy]

I doubt the dummy will work now and personally if she's sleeping so well at home I wouldn't do it. Unfortunately some babies just don't sleep well anywhere but in their beds. Very inconvenient but it does get easier when they go down to one nap a day and you can plan around it.

Some suggestions: try a portacot. If you have one with solid walls there is less room visible for her to be distracted by a new environment. Try the normal routine you use at home. Perhaps put her to bed in the portacot in her bedroom a few times to get used to it.

Introduce a sleep cue that is portable, cd or ipod with the same song on it.

Great idea! We're actually looking at portacots this weekend to take with us on hol's so will take the above into consideration. The sleep-sheep is something we use at home so I may buy the portable equivalent to attach to the cot too.

This might not help you as everyone has different circumstances but unless it was really important we were always home when it was our little ones sleep time. Yes it can be inconvenient but not any more than a tired child and stressed out parent. I had lots of grief from friends because we wouldn't go out for dinner with them and take the baby or go to a party and put the baby to sleep in a strange bed or room. It was hard but it was the best thing for us and our little ones.

I agree Tisf! I would much rather stay at home. But we have a huge family .. my family is quite understanding, DH's.. not so much! It's more out of love than out of malice. It does make for stressed times.. Whenever I'm out I try to plan so that it's during her 'wake times', family becomes a little grizzly themselves when I try to leave saying "she'll get used to it!!" (ie staying up). I try to explain that when she doesnt sleep she then.... doesnt sleep! Which is why I'm trying to reach a balance in hoping that she can sleep when I'm out. I'm starting to be seen as the "stressed mum".. but I just know what lack of sleep does to my DD!

DS is another who likes to sleep by himself, in his own bed. We have very rarely had much success with patting, prams or cars. When we're out and about, I often don't bother trying for a nap and just try to power through.

If we do try for a nap, we use the portacot in as dark a room as we can get. I also put a sheet/muslin wrap over the portacot to block out as much distraction as possible. It does take longer, and involve more grizzling, but if I've picked the right time (sleepy, not overtired) he will usually go down to sleep. Going in and helping usually just makes him worse.

It is inconvenient not being able to put DS down for a sleep wherever, but he sleeps well enough at home and overnight. I'd take inconvenience over bad sleeping in general any day!

Agreed! I'll try the portacot idea.. My DD is similar, going in to "help" doesn't help.


Thanks for the suggestions!

[SeaPrincess]

This might not help you as everyone has different circumstances but unless it was really important we were always home when it was our little ones sleep time. Yes it can be inconvenient but not any more than a tired child and stressed out parent.

This was us too. None of my children slept in the pram (not for a lack of trying either!) or got used to being up. FIL and stepMIL have a portacot, my parents have a cot, and we used to take a portacot to MIL's if we were staying there.

R

[mumof3kidlets]

My DD3 is almost 6 months. I put her in a manduca carrier and she is asleep within minutes.

[content1]

DS1 was very much like your DD but I think I set him off when out because I would get so stressed about him sleeping that he was feeding off that vibe and wouldn't settle. We also did the same as you and stayed home worked hard and sorted out his sleep.Much like your DD he just couldn't cope with lack of sleep. I think maybe if I was more relaxed and we went out more in the begining so he was more acustomed to sleeping out things would of been better but I don't think they would of been perfect as PP have said some bubs just prefer to sleep at home . The whole sleep thing with him caused me a GREAT deal of anxiety, he is now a happy healthy 3 nearly 4 yr old, goes to bed no problems, stays there all night and LOVES sleepovers (at grandparents)

Then along comes DS2, HAD to learn to sleep anywhere with kindy drop offs, plagroup, play dates etc. He is 9 months old & if tired will sleep where I put him down. Complete opposite to DS1 but does make life a great deal easier. He even slept in the back of my dads 4WD when we had a bon fire in my parents paddock a month or so back, we had to wake him to go home!

The things that DID work for DS1 and we also do them with DS2 when out, use own linen/blanket, if she has a teddy or something she sleeps with at home take that out. The idea is even though the room/bed is different she will still have somethings that smell like home and are familiar to her and are associated with bedtime.

[trishalishous]

My DD3 is almost 6 months. I put her in a manduca carrier and she is asleep within minutes.

same here, i rock my kids in the sling, then everyone else does the same when baby sitting and they sleep.

[Carmen02]

i hope you figure out something that works!! my just turned 2yr old has always been like it from around that age till now he will not sleep in his pram at the shops at someones house only in his bed which he is a fantastic sleeper at home!! Even my mums house he wont sleep and we are there heaps of times during the week.