[blondie82]

Hi all,
I'm not really sure how to exactly word this but I have a small dilemma.

I have been getting together with a new group of lovely ladies and their kids and we have met up a few times and on the whole we all get along and can have a bit of a laugh etc but there is this one girl (who I will call 'J') who doesn't seem to be clicking quite right.

I basically had some of the ladies over today and I bought out a nice bottle of bubbly for us to share along with some nibbles. We finished the bottle and thought we would then casually move onto coffee but J then decided to head down the street to pick up some more. I thought 'righto, I'll just roll with this' but this second bottle basically ended up being her demise and everything snowballed form there.

The were some pretty wild comments made from J about certain things and the afternoon ended with her clambering all over my husband when he arrived home and me driving her and her young DD home as she was in no state to operate a vehicle.

I feel for J as I think there are some deep seated issues in her life but I'm just not sure if I can take on her on?

[Awesome101]

A group of you against one of her and yet you all did what she wanted instead of what the rest of you wanted? Simple, just say "no thanks" to the second bottle and have your coffee.

[Becky Thatcher]

Were you fit to drive, OP?

[TheGreenSheep]

What did she say exactly? Surely if she drive there, she had to think about staying under the limit to drive her DD home.
And what did your DH make of it? (I'd be none too impressed by that) and what did your other friends make of it?

[blondie82]

I was totally fine to drive. I had 2 glasses over a 5 hour period so I was fine.

I'm not sure what her thought pattern was in terms of getting herself home? That's a very good question. DH was giggling like a school girl when she was mauling him but then later confessed he was a little uncomfortable about it.

She was arguing a point with another lady about the difference between 'getting' a child to hold their urine intake when toilet training and she was also quite rude when she tried to give a little boy a flower (there were 5 girls and 1 boy) and he said no. She was banging on about gender stereotype and the like.

[Becky Thatcher]

Does she have a hubby OP?

[blondie82]

She's got a partner. She met him 4 months before she got pregnant. He's a little older than her (he's 60 and she's 36) and they do sleep in separate bedrooms and she also confessed she's in a 'sexless' relationship.

It just seems that this is alot to take on in a new group?

I know the other 2 ladies were a bit taken back by her. As one of them was leaving, J ran across the road, stole some flowers from my neighbors garden and proceeded to give them to the 2 little girls as they were being loaded into the car. It was lucky that one of the other ladies was there to intervene and 'shoo' the swarm of bees that were still attached to the flowers at the time......

This post has been edited by blondie82: 09/11/2012, 09:14 PM

[Becky Thatcher]

She sounds like a nutter, TBH

[Jemstar]

I think it sounds like she's deeply unhappy, and perhaps a bit desperate for friends she can reach out to. do you know if she has much of a social circle or family otherwise? If she doesn't it might be that she is unloading on you guys becaus she doesn't have anyone else.

That said, I wouldn't be impressed with her behaviour around your DH, even if it can be put down to drinking too much. I would also cringe at the irresponsibility with drinking when she knew she had to pick up her child.

Only you will know if you can be a friend to her, I think I would find it difficult.

[kidwrangler]

Seems to me like she needed to blow off some steam and made a stupid mistake. All the mentioned behaviour occurred after she'd had too much to drink didn't it? I'm not sure it's fair to hold it against her. We've all made silly mistakes.

It is a bit sad that she wasn't able to think about her children and moderate herself. Again, possibly a one-off silly mistake. She may be too embarrassed to hang out with you again anyway.

Hopefully, you can give her the benefit of the doubt, not place too much judgement and be a real friend who supports someone if they need help... your post does sound like you are asking permission to cut her out of the group though. Maybe she felt out of place and judged so had too many drinks to get past it?