[casime]

Just watching SYTYCD and it had me thinking (yes, I know... ouch!). If your child came to you and said that they want to be a dancer/actor/singer/artist/etc, what would your response be? Would you support them no matter what? Would you discourage them? Would you encourage them and also suggest they have a backup plan?

[SlinkyMalinki]

I'd encourage them, but would probably prefer they have a backup plan - uni degree or trade as well.

[Sinister Bonnet]

I discouraged my DSD strongly. Her parents supported her in her dream to be an actor/dancer. My grounds for discouraging her was that it is such a hard hard life and all she had to do was look at her parents to see how hard it was .

She's in her thirties now, mildly successful in a quiet sort of a way, has done theatre, some tv series, involved in a theatre company, works in a talent agency to pay the bills, does some teaching as well. Financially? Eh. I don't think it's financially as stable as we would wish for her.

I think we were *all* right. She's made it work though.

[~DrSeussRules~]

I would want them to have a good fallback plan and to give themselves a time limit.

[BadCat]

My children? I'd tell them in the most gentle way I could think of that they are barking up the wrong tree. They have no artisitc talent at all.

I would support a child with some amount of talent but not really encourage. I'd push them to have a backup.

A really talented child I would encourage and even then I'd still urge a backup plan.

[RatbagBob]

It would depend on the amount of talent possessed by said child. There is no way I'm going to go all "Yes! You CAN achieve your dreams" if she wants to be a singer but can't sing a note in tune.

And even if she was talented, I'd still want a backup plan. There are a hell of a lot of people with a mass of talent out there, and nowhere near the number of jobs needed to keep them clothed and fed.

[*-*]

DD1 wants to be a Singer/Actor.

She has talent. She takes part in local productions. We support her dream, all the way.

But she also knows that this must all come second to a "real" job. Singing/Acting remains a hobby at all times.... if it takes her further - then so be it. But chances are, it wont.

I don't want to take away her dreams, but I don't want to slap her in the face with reality just yet.

This post has been edited by *~Katrina~*: 09/11/2012, 10:02 PM

[my serenity]

Encourage with reality..... Currently doing so with my DD who's want to be Olympic gymnast and currently doing an invited class :/

[Quill]

If you're talking about a career musician?

Well. My three kids have been exposed to this their whole lives. They've seen me perform. They've seen me teaching other peoples kids. For a start, only the youngest is musical, and the big two know exactly what it takes and it's not for them.

Encouragement has huge shades of grey.

Yes, a child should be taken seriously. But not after a passing comment. You need to see that they're serious. That the interest is manifesting at school, in their imaginative play. Preferably, before you do anything, you want to be seeing comments from their classroom teachers, reports or pre school directors.

At that point, go looking for specialist assessment. In music, you want to see an excellent sense of pitch and rhythm, whatever the instrument. You also want to see that basic rhythmic ability for young classical dancers. In artists you'd look for a heightened sense of colour and the ability to break apart what the child sees into sections of texture.

Many of the kids I teach virtually give up their childhoods for their music. Nobody can practice for them. They do it because they love it. The kids who do that are exceptional, and everyone around them can see it. I work 80 hour weeks because it's so rewarding to help encourage and teach them.

Not sure if it answers your question. This is my 'hot button topic', so I'm going to try to stay out of it and not get on my soapbox too much.

This post has been edited by Quill: 09/11/2012, 08:17 PM

[dogged]

I find this topic really interesting and agree with much of what Quill has posted above.

One of my closest friends has a child who is a talented musician. Parents are both musical and one is involved professionally. I really admire the way that they are doing all that they can to encourage the gift but also grounding it in reality so that their child makes an informed choice, knowing that it's a hard and often uncertain existence. Encouragingly the specialists and professionals who've heard this child play have all agreed that there'll be no issue with making a living from music should that be the decision made.

I have a friend from school who was trained as a classical vocalist and who makes a living as a professional in music theatre. Her classical training and music education experience have stood her in very good stead as she has the technique and knowledge to give her longevity and good vocal health where others with talent have not endured.

So the lesson there is by all means have a back-up plan even if it's in a related field; follow your dream but on a solid base and only if the dream isn't completely beyond reality.