[InsertAwesomeHer...]

I posted a few weeks asking about the name Ariana and my step sister and then updated again to say I've been told if I use the name I will lose family.

My problem is I can't get past the name. Nothing else I come across has the same ring to, doesn't stand out as much and I now can't figure out if it's because I really do like it that much or if it's because I've been told I can't use it. DP is the same, he said he really likes it too but can't figure out if it's because he does really like it or because he's been told he can't have it.

I'm also still really annoyed that I've been given that ultimatum. I don't see why her choice/happiness is more important than mine, especially when she isn't even pregnant.

And now I'm ranting.. Long story short how do I tell if it really stands out because I love it or because I'm being told not to use it? Does anyone have any similar suggestions? Is Ariana about to become 'common' whilst my other kids have common names I want something different that will stand out a little. Our boys choice is Felix.

[idignantlyright]

I hate it when people tell others they can't use names. I would go against them and just use it. She may end up having all boys, if she ever does have children.

[Sunnycat]

Use the name you want. I think it's outrageous that your family is bullying you and threatening to change your choice, your step sister isn't even expecting.

Ariana is a beautiful name.

This post has been edited by Sunnycat: 04/11/2012, 10:32 AM

[kerilyntaryn]

what about

Ariella
Eliana
Oriana
Arielle
Adriana
Adrielle
Areli
Ellery
Everly
Aria
Arianne
Arica
Alivia
Amari
Carys
Carissa
Imari
Anastasia
Audriana
Aubriana
Giana
Indiana
Jordana
Liana
Lucianna/Lucyanna
Lilyanna
Mariana
Oceana
Oksana
Roxana
Savannah
Susannah
Tatiana
Natalia
Julianna
Abrianna
Alannah
Cyprianna
Breanna
Briella
Felicianna
Deanna
Joanna
Rhianna
Rosanna
Vivianna


she doesnt own the name and may not ever use it - is there a reason why she wants it so much

This post has been edited by kerilyntaryn: 04/11/2012, 10:46 AM

[PatG]

If she wants the name because she happens to like it then she doesn't have ownership over it but if it has a very special meaning to her (e.g. the name of her mother who passed away recently) then she possibly has dibs. I think this is an example as to why you don't discuss names with family beforehand! Unless she has just come out and said "you can't use this name, it's mine".

I would hope that you were mature enough to not fixate on a name because you have been told you can't have it, do you think you are mature? If so you probably just really like the name. Did you come up with it before you were told you couldn't use it?

[kristylee21]

I don't think anyone can claim a name... And think its rather rude to threaten you over it. Especially when its not even the same name.. that's ridiculous

This post has been edited by kristylee21: 04/11/2012, 10:47 AM

[Gudrun]

From what I remember of the last thread it sounded like whatever you do, said person is going to be trouble. And that she is just using this to be trouble. It won't matter what name you choose she will probably think of some way to annoy you.

So you'll probably get the same stuff coming from that direction even if you take notice of her. And then you will have lost your name too.

I would try and pretend she doesn't exist and hang on to the name as you normally would until or unless you think of something you like as much or more but keep very, very secret.

Who knows if you ignore the ultimatum it might change the dynamic for the good eventually ie she might decide her hitherto behaviour gets her nowhere.

Anyway only you can know your situation.

Back to names. I thought I might put some here just in case you can be tempted:

Ariadne
Adriana
Aurelia
Adelita
Ariella
Audra
Adelia
Adela
Adina
Aviana
Aviva
Adrienne
Adelina
Adara
Amara
Allira
Amaya
Anaya
Amaryllis
Anarosa


good luck!

[InsertAwesomeHer...]

We chose Ariana very early on, came across it and fell in love with it. Before we'd announced the pregnancy my step mum let slip that my step sister who isn't pregnant and can't be guaranteed to have a girl would be using Aria. So we chose Ariana, then step mum let slip Aria.

She kept asking and asking about names and I mentioned Ariana and she said she hoped I wouldn't use it and I said we hadn't officially decided yet but it was at the top of our list, which was technically true but we kind of had decided I just didn't want the argument there and then. I told her the other names on the list and she left it at that.

Next time we spoke she kept calling the baby Gabriella, because it's second on our list and she's certain it's a girl (we haven't found out but i'm pretty sure too). I said well we haven't decided yet, she mentioned that she said something to my step sister about Ariana who had said she hoped we didn't use it then my step mum went on about how SS always wanted a little Ari and I said well we don't want Ari as a NN anyway. When I repeated again that we hadn't decided she said well if you lose it you will lose family, I said who you and SS and she said yes.

We spoke the other night and ended up arguing over something different and I bought up the name thing because I was p*ssed off and I was certain my Dad wouldn't agree with her and probably didn't even know about what she'd said. Apparently he does know and does agree but I haven't been able to get a hold of him because he's always at work or with her and you can't really talk to him when she's there.

The name has no special meaning and my step mum saying oh she's always wanted an Ari is a load of crap because before having her son she had a different girls name picked out. I also told my step mum that because we barely see each other I wouldn't care if she had Aria and we had Ariana but apparently they would so I'm the one that has to change.

I think I'm mature, the name has always stood out but now I feel threatened because of her. I've been online looking at names today to see if there was anything else and came across Abigail and we both really like it so at least there is another runner now as the other names we had didn't come close to how much we love Ariana.

The other thing is that I don't believe she has any right to put me in the position she has and if we do happen to choose a different name I don't want her to think it's because she has the power to dictate.

Read out your list of names and DP vetoed all of them. I like Ariella and Everly but not as much as Ariana.

ETA: People posted as I took too long to type. You guys come up with so many names, do you just know them off the top of your head?

Gudrun - i've tried before to change the dynamic but it doesn't work, you try to take a stand and end up losing that part of the family for however long you try to be the bigger person, it even means not talking to my dad, not getting invited to things and I end up getting sick of that so I apologize even though I feel i've done nothing wrong and it all goes in one big cycle all over again. I'm at the point now where I feel like if I cut my losses what would I really be losing, other than a set of grand parents for my kids who have my ex's parents, my mum and my DP parents anyway.

This post has been edited by InsertAwesomeHere: 04/11/2012, 10:59 AM

[Sassy Girl]

Use the name you want and stuff everyone else. It is your child, not theirs so the name has to be to perfect and exactly what you want.

I gave my 16 year old DD a name that wasn't my favourite name just to keep my mother (and that is a much closer relationship to step sister or step mother. If it was that relationship I would have ignored them completely) happy when I named her and I still regret it to this day.

If you are being threatened with losing family because of using a name that you love they aren't 'real family' anyway. Real family is there for you no matter what (that's another thing I've learnt from experience ).

Use Ariana, you'll regret it otherwise and it is gorgeous

Edited: as I think I have single handedly crucified the English language in one post

This post has been edited by Sassy Girl: 04/11/2012, 11:25 AM

[Gudrun]

Seriously OP it seems to me that if she carried through her threat it would be a blessing.

Just hang on to your name unless you want to change it yourself. You will not feel good if you succumb.

Ariana is a great name. It has really good rhythm.