[Rach71]

Hi all :-)
Ive been reading through a few of these posts and cant help but feel supported already with the all the advice and realness of comments provided. I chose to wait for the right man to come along before having children, he took his time but finally made it to me - making up for my lost time by bringing 3 of his own with him! Im thoroughly enjoying part time step mum hood, as I knew I would but have started seriously considering the option of having a child of my own, my partner is fully supportive and good to go (being 7 years younger!). I think its coming down to fear now. I guess I almost gave up on the idea, and now its here Im terrified! Have I waited to long? Will my body cope with the stress, will I cope with the stress?! Will we manage financially - can i go back to work ?! Im pretty sure I will keep procrastinating about it if I dont just leap in and do it...
but If anyone out there has any words of advice or comments I would really really appreciate them - good or bad, I dont mind. Thank you!

[Jenflea]

Just do it!
try for 6 months naturally, don't stress too much and jsut go for it.
Make sure you're on folate or preconception vitamins first! get health checks to check for rubella immunity and STDs and whatever else is needed.
Honestly, the more you overthink it, the worse it'll sound. There's never THE right time to have a baby, but you'll manage.
If after 6 months you're not pregnant, then you need to see a fertility specialist or your GP to get help ASAP as you don't have time up your sleeve at 40.
good luck.

[silvek1978]

I think most women are terrified whether they are 20 or 40!
Ask yourself if you'll regret it when it's too late and there is your answer.
Good luck deciding

[Bloomer]

I went to my dr at 41 to make sure I was ovulating, Just a simple blood test and they check your rubella etc.. even young women do this before trying for a baby. My husband needed to have a vasectomy reversal and there were a few issues with it. the one thing I regretted was being too patient.. Eventually my dr sent us to an IVF clinic(I had no desire to do IVF at 41, but wanted the tests) we went for out tests and before returning for the results I was pregnant..I had DD1 at 42 and DD2 at 45.. so there can be time but dont waste time worrying about it.. Yes I was the only 50 year old mum in Kindy but they didnt know until I told them.

You dont regret the kids you have only the ones you didnt try for.

many of my friends wish they could have found a partner who was willing to front up again for more kids many of them do not want it. i think my husband was more excited than I was..

[shelbysmum]

I just had DS2 eight days before my 40th! Best present ever and whilst I can't compare it to having children earlier I am absolutely loving being a mum, don't feel overly tired or exhausted (some days I do of course, but overall it is fine).

TBH I think I am doing much better than I would have at a younger age. Go for it if you are both keen !

Good luck

[countrymel]

It truly is now or never time...

[PurpleNess]

Hi Rach,

I was in the same boat as you except for the step kid. My DH is 9 years younger than me & we married in 2008. I finally said yes to babies & we tried for 8 months before conceiving naturally.
My tips are this:
Don't wait any longer, start NOW.
Go to your GP and get tested for ovulation ( blood test)& get his boys checked
Start tracking your cycle if you haven't already. I used iPeriod on my iPhone, it was fantastic.
Get some cheap Ovulation prediction dip sticks off the net.

I had my DS when i was 40, he's nearly 1 now & I am the fittest & happiest I have ever been in my life. I never thought I'd like being a mum or be any good at it but turns out I love it & am pretty darn good at it too ...if I say so myself lol.

I'm 42 in Feb and we're thinking of number 2 so age is just a number for us.

Some days it's hard but I don't know a mother of any age who feels doesnt the same. If you are relatively healthy with a positive attitude its a good start.

Wishing you well !!

This post has been edited by PurpleNess: 02/11/2012, 04:25 PM

[Rach71]

You ladies are wonderful sometimes you just need to hear it from those who are in or have been in the same boat. Most of my friends have had their kids younger and wouldnt dream of having another now.. and the girls I work with who are a little older than me all have teenagers who feel the same way so I dont even talk about it with them. I know I would have so much support from friends and family and it would be really nice for the other kids to be a part of it too - not to mention the help and babysitters! Oh dear, Im doing it arent I?! Stay tuned ... and thanks again. I think Ive found my fav new website!

[sa5ha]

I don't belong in this forum but thought I could give some perspective to as the daughter of an older mum.

My mum was 37 when I was born (which was considered quite "old" in the late 80s to have your first baby apparently) and I never felt that she was "old" or like I missed out in any way as a kid, she did a wonderful job of raising me.

Only advice I'd offer is (this is following a recent health scare with my older parents) make sure you take really good care of yourself health wise so you'll be in good condition to be involved with your child as an adult too.

[Rosie R]

All the best Rach, I've just had my first baby at 36 after waiting for the right guy (he also has 3 children from his first marriage).
It took us 12 months to concieve. I couldn't have imagined how amazing the mum and newborn experience could be. I'd never suggest it's a breeze but I am so glad I chose to try, I have found it such a wonderful experience.