[i-candi]

It's become apparent DS can't stay at his current high school. While the school has been great helping him the bulling has got too much.

I swear DS has a sign on his back saying 'kick me'

I have an appointment at a different school on Friday and I've decided to take DS with me so he can ask questions.

The school is a lot smaller as it's still new and one of the biggest reasons everyone is telling me not to go is that they don't offer a large amount of options like his current school does (which has an amazing list of choices).

I've told DS that if the school doesn't offer his choices in year 11 and 12 he may have to move, however, he will be going into year 8 and year 11 is a long way off.

The biggest lure for us that his primary school best friend goes there, this boy is the only kid that DS has kept up a friendship with and has caught up a few times since school finished last year. At his high school DS only has one friend.

The new school is more expensive with less options but as DH said DS social welfare is far more important.

I have one group telling me going to a small school with less options is a bad choice and I have another saying it doesn't matter about options and DS needs to be happy. After this year why can't I have both for DS?

How do you make the choice to move? I will only do it at end of year, DS would never cope with a move mid year.

This post has been edited by i-candi: 15/11/2012, 09:39 PM

[yabbadabbadoo]

OP I have from time to time followed your thread as I have a boy who started high school this year and is having a great time. The first time I read your post about his troubles at school I really felt for you and him and have paid attention since then.

I think you should move him. Our younger DS who is in Yr 5 is not having the same positive experience as his brother and at this stage his emotional and mental wellbeing are our focus. He sees a clinical psychologist, but also has been seeing an educational psychologist. Even she has said to me that none of his academic issues can be resolved until he is in a better frame of mind. She said that his mental state is more important than anything.

I don't think limited options are a factor here. What is the point of having all the options you could dream of, if you don;t even want to be there? By powers of deduction, I have figured out what school he goes to and all I can tell you is my step brother went there and to this day still talks about how much he hated it. He says you very much have to fit a certain mould and if you don't there is no hope for you. This is based on a conversation with him long before I read your posts.

We considered the equivalent school here in Melbourne when we first moved as on paper it is fabulous. We decided when older DS was in Yr 5 that it was not going to be right and chose another school. More expensive and it meant moving house, but it has been fabulous. It is also co-ed. He as yet has not really engaged with the girls but he talks to them and they add a certain balance that he would not have gotten from the other school. Both my boys are quite sensitive and I know that they would not have survived in an environment like that.

Good luck with your decision. Your son deserves to be happy and whilst it sux that your dream/perfect school option hasn't worked out, it is time to move on and not dwell on it anymore.

This post has been edited by yabbadabbadoo: 30/10/2012, 09:55 PM

[somila]

I would move him and give him a fresh start. The other broader options may be available in the community (club sport, community orchestra, private tuition) or by correspondence. (My sister and I used this in our regional high schools).

While there is something to be said for overcoming bullying, it sounds like you, your son and the school have given it your best shot. Some people are just toads (IMO ) and need to be avoided.

My DS starts high school next year. We have given school choice a LOT of thought/discussion and I think we are making the best decision for us all. If he is miserable we will move him (and yes, we are so lucky to have options).

[AMPSyd]

I agree with the "I would move him".

Academics are one thing but psychological wellbeing is much more important. He needs to be happy not bullied. I am in the same boat - well DS is yr 5 bit the highschool he will go to is small and has much more limited choices but the care given to the students is amazing. Being a sensitive child, I have been told he will get bullied at the local high-school (the school DS will go to is private).

[mumto3princesses]

I would move him. Whatever the options are at his current school are don't matter. I would choose which school was better emotionally over options of classes.

I would look at other schools as well though if my child knew what they wanted to do and we knew that this new school didn't offer the subjects that my child needed. Does he have some ideas what he wants yet op?

I would do it for year 8 rather than wait because towards the end of year 8 they choose their electives for years 9 and 10.

Changing schools again for year 11 wouldn't bother me though. My DD1 goes to a small middle school which only goes to year 10 so she will have to change anyway.

[2bundles]

I would also move. I would also prefer DS to be in a smaller high school. Smaller primary has been great for him.

State of mind is far more important than subject choice. If he really wants more subject choice, he will be happy to move again in Yr 11 which will make it an easier move.

[i-candi]

Thanks for all the replies. I feel so sick with worry. His current school seemed so good and I thought we were making the right choice I just don't want to stuff up again I've not heard anyone that hasn't like DS current school.

There at two Anglican schools near us and we are smack bang in the middle of both. I'm a Roman Catholic and have enjoyed going back to mass, when I didn't work I'd take DS to school on Friday and go to community mass.

One I know an EB member here goes to the other school and is happy but if DS went there he wouldn't know anyone and I know will have trouble making friends. The other is the newer one with smaller cohort in the high school setting.

Then again he could suffer in any school I suppose Home school is not an option as next year I start my full time permanent job at a primary school and DS will happily never leave the house.

[i-candi]

DS will be changing schools next year to a smaller Anglican school closer to us.

I personally don't 'like' the school, I like the school he is currently at but it's not about me . DS likes the school, likes the fact his friends go there, likes the fact that his friends don't get bullied.

Now I have to tell his current high school tomorrow that he won't be attending the school next year...

[yabbadabbadoo]

Great news OP. Fingers crossed for a great 2013 school year especially with you having all the responsibility of your new full time job. Can I ask why you don't like the new school?

[i-candi]

Great news OP. Fingers crossed for a great 2013 school year especially with you having all the responsibility of your new full time job. Can I ask why you don't like the new school?

Superficial reasons to be honest. It's newish, it has no heart. It is just buildings in the Australian bush. I like the green fields and pastures of his 'old' school, the age, the traditions, the feeling of belonging to a community. I like the country out look of DS's old school, the cattle and the horticulture.

I'm also nervous because soooo many people I've talked to either hate the school or love it DS's old school I didn't hear one bad thing about the school yet it just wasn't the right school for DS. I've known a few people to leave the new school for all different reasons. Yikes I'm scared....


Thanks for the best wishes for 2013, it's going to be an amazing year - I hope. I need one after this year!!!!

This post has been edited by i-candi: 16/11/2012, 05:47 AM