[qwertyuiop]

I have a four year old son who will turn 5 in March 2013. We're in NSW and I have the choice of sending him to primary school (kindergarten) in 2013 or 2014.

My son is at a currently enrolled (3 days a week) in a great preschool. The teachers have told me that they think he might be best of to spend another year at preschool. The main reason they give is that they think the extra year will give him extra emotional maturity. They say he cries very easily if things don't work out as expected and the extra year will give him the chance to become more resilient in a safe environment.

Academically he is fine. He enjoys learning. He is happy, social kids who loves playing with other kids. He says he's happy to go to the preschool for another year.

I've got two younger kids at home and I worry that he'll be bored next year (even though he'd go to preschool 3 days a week) and I won't be able to provide him all the stimulation that he needs as he has to share my attention and energy with his siblings. I'm worried he might play up as a result.

I've heard from many parents that they regretted sending their child early. I've also heard many parents say they have been happy with sending their child early. So far I haven't heard anyone say they've regretted sending their child late. Has anyone here regretted holding their child back? Are there any risks if I hold him back? Any advice appreciated.

[*Kell*]

Hi OP,

My sister has 2 boys. She sent the first one to school early, and he couldn't handle the social interactions, so ended up repeating year 1.
The second she started at 5, and he has had no problems.

I have heard this MANY a time with boys, but the opposite with girls, saying they should start at 4, if possible.

I think (especially because the childcare has recommended it) you should keep him back for another year.

Or alternatively, you could speak to the principal of the primary school, and ask their opinion.

Good luck.

[Libertine]

There's a big thread on holding boys back currently going in What Do You Think?

Might be of interest to you op.

HTH.

[Manicmum]

I would listen to his preschool teacher.

[PrincessPinkenIt]

My DS is a March baby, and we decided to hold him back as he was very emotional and would get very upset about a lot of things.
I do not regret it at all holding him back a year.

[boatiebabe]

I have a March DD and she went when she was 4 and 10 months. Academically she is fine, but she did struggle a little in the beginning with the more street smart 5 year old girls who could run rings around her with their emotional/social games.

She is in Year 3 now and is doing great. Academically doing well and socially she has figured out who the 'nice' girls are and hangs with them.

DS is an early July baby and I held him back (although most other states besides NSW this would not be holding back) - so that he started school when he was 5.5 years of age. The last six months at home with him before he went to school was challenging and I only had one at home. He is tearing up kindergarten and was really ready to start learning.

I know another family (neighbour) who held their boys back - one born in January (started school at 6) and one born in March (started school at 5 and 10 months). At first she was always bragging about how well they were doing compared to everyone else in their class (well der? they were significantly older) and now she is complaining non stop about how gifted her kids are and the school won't "extend" them. Basically they are average kids but are in classes with children up to 18 months younger than them, so they are bored and possibly disruptive because of it.

In saying all that I think you should take very seriously what your day care providers are telling you. But ultimately you need to make the decision about whether he is ready.

[Fluster]

I was in your son's position - had the chance to start one year or the next. I remember very clearly discussing it with my mother and we agreed I'd start the 'next year'.

It was a great decision - I'm not the quickest socially anyway, and I have no doubt the extra year was beneficial.

[Holidayromp]

I have for both DD1 and DD2. Both were more than ready for school even though they were five weeks past the cutoff. DD1 was climbing the walls, bored out of her brain at preschool and DD2 was more than ready.

You know your child and it is very individual which is why I don't understand the stupid cut off system because many child are sent to school way too early as a cheap childcare alternative when kids that are after the cut off like DD1 and DD2 have been more than ready.

[Heather11]

Personally I would hedge my bets. I would still enrol your DS and even do the transition visits to school. You can always pull out before they start.

The reason I say this is because there is still 4 months before he would start. He may very well mature and become less emotional during that time.

A term out from starting school my DS was still having major separation issues and wasn't very sociable. He had a few close friends but didn't mix in the wider group. In his last term of kindy (preschool equivalent) he matured dramatically. No tears at drop offs and started to make more friends.

We have had no issues with him starting school. His report has indicated that he is a confident, mature and popular member of the class. He is also academically top of the class.

Technically we could of held him back a term or started him the following year not something that is the done thing in SA.

[unicycle]

Yes, I regret having held my shy, but bright, daughter back. Maybe best would have been to skip prep, and go straight to year one the year following the being held back.
edited due to autocorrect

This post has been edited by unicycle: 01/10/2012, 11:16 AM