[newmum2013]

Hi Everyone

Im about 6 weeks along with my first baby, me and DH live in Melbourne, im 34

Very excited to be pregnant was trying for about 6 months, heres my problem

I have had an extreme Phobia of chilbirth since I was in my teens, literally petrified of the thought, everyone around me knows about this cos ive been talking about it for years and due to this I have delayed and delayed it

It seems so silly I realise that, I have always said if the time came I could never go through a Vag delivery and that a C-section would be the only way

Well now that im finally pregnant im bloody terrified, 5 mins after I got my BFP its all I cant think about, awful

This is something I discussed with my GP a few years back and she advised me to take out PH insurance which I now do have

I have an appt next month with 2 male OB's at Freemasons as well as a letter from my GP re my extreme fear and that im too scared for a Vag delivery

Well the csection is freaking me out too! Being cut etc, I just want to be brave and go through it but im so scared its not funny, this is casuing me extreme anxiety at the moment

I already suffer from anxiety and see a Psych, im also on Zoloft, im waiting to see what the OBS say, honestly if I knew that the min I got to the hospital I could get the epidural

And feel no pain I would do it, but then I hear stories of it not working for some, only patrially working, I just don’t know what to do! I don’t want to spend the next 7 months worrying about this

I have no idea what to do!! My mum used to tell me how horrible the pain was im not sure if this is why I have this problem, now that I talk to her she says ill be fine lol

What do you think a dr would recommend with me? I was considering a Doula also to help me through this. The thought of being cut is not great but honestly I would rather that than feeling contractions and

Feeling pushing as this is what I am most scared of,

Help I want to enjoy this special time!!!

[Natttmumm]

Would you consider the clam bith classes to try to overcome the fear. I think you have the right to choose whatever birth is right for you. Wait until you see the doctors to discuss - no point stressing out at this early stage. It cant be good for you.

I was freaked out when having DD1 and to be honest it was not as bad as I made it out. Most of it was fine - then when it got too much I got the epidural. So much so that number 3 is on the way.

[boatiebabe]

I feel so bad for you that you are so terrified of birthing.

It really doesn't have to be as bad as you describe.

I've given birth twice and both times the experience was really amazing. There was some 'pain' and discomfort but it was not unfathomable. Maybe if you heard more of these stories, then you might not be so frightened?

I think if you start reading and preparing now, you might be able to turn things around. At only 6 weeks you have a lot of time to prepare.

I used Calm Birth for my first and the Hypnobirthing home study guide for my second. It really helped me to embrace the births of my two and took away a lot of the fear I had.

If you go into it with fear, then it probably will be terrible. If you can approach the experience with anticipation and be positive, it will be so much better.

I'm sure others will be able to refer you to books etc.

Just one person who wants you to calm down and find something positive.

[brown-eyed girl]

Sorry to hear how you're feeling

From what I've read on EB, you should be able to get a c-sec based on your anxiety, I would think. But, as you say, that is also no walk in the park and you will still need to take the time to process your fears.

I think your idea of a doula is really great, whether for c-sec or vaginal birth. If you could start seeing someone earlier rather than later you can start to build a relationship. Try to get a good referral from someone first hand, maybe ask in the home birth forum if you're finding it hard to find someone.

It might also be worth thinking about an independent midwife if you're thinking of vag birth. They spend a lot of time working through your fears during pregnancy, and it means you don't have to worry who you will have on the day. You can still have a hospital birth, epidural, OBs etc, but also know you have a trusted midwife with you for support. Or you may even end up feeling safer at home than in hospital with strangers.

The book "birthing from within" is a great resource for working through fears. I really enjoyed reading it, and will be re-reading it again throughout this pregnancy. I think knowledge is power

I'm sure you'll get a lot of great advice and support here. Take your time, go easy on yourself.

[Carmen02]

going into my 2nd labour i was terrified. my 1st was horrible!! But I got amazing support through the hospital i was having DS in, they gave me counselling sessions and i got to see a midwife regularly to talk things through and settle my nerves and i saw my Doctor lots as well. It helped me heaps even birthing classes help heaps as well you get to learn ways to distract yourself and breath through the pain, my 2nd labour was fantastic so relaxing so special everything went smoothly! I put my fears and anxiety aside and focused on baby (i didnt have an epidural that freaked me out as well)

Make sure you talk things through with anyone you can talk to professinals as well they help heaps, it is scary to go through the first time but think about what you will have in the end go see midwifes at the hospital asap to chat to them as well they are fantastic to help calm nerves!

[alwayshappy]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm so sorry to hear that your anxiety is overwhelming this exciting time for you.
It seems that you have a good support network around you, who are aware of your anxiety. They are the best people to guide you through your pregnancy.
I am fairly confident that your psychologist would also suggest Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as one option. Know that a caesarean is also an option is you really can't fathom the thought of going through the labour and delivery.
All the best with welcoming your baby into the world.

[SCARFACE CLAW]

I feel for you OP I had a traumatic first birth and opted for an elective caesar with my second, and it was honestly the best thing I ever did.

There was no pain, I didn't feel a thing and everyone was so calm and excited in the theatre. The recovery was much easier and far less painful than with my vaginal birth, in fact the only discomfort I had was when the spinal started to wear off after the surgery, but I was given pain killers and felt nothing after that. I had considered an induction and getting the epidural immediately, but for similar reasons to you decided to go with the c-section.

Talk to your OB, I'm sure you will be able to work out what's best for you.

Good luck

[MrsLexiK]

Hi OP. I too have a massive fear about labour. For me it is not about the pain at all though. It is the fear of being torn from pillar to post (due to knowing people where this has happneded) or needing an emergancy c-section. If they could tell me there will be minimal tearing, and all will go smoothly, I would have no worries. But it is the complications that scare me, and they scare me so badly. I don't want an epi as I honestly don't think I will need one (I have issues which give me labour like contractors, the women I have spoken to that have my same issues have said childbirth is no worse then what they go through when they have flare ups. Hence why I would not go straight to the epi - because epi's also have a higher change of intervention = tearing) I have reactions when I have a general (or even a local) and this is my fear. If I have to have an emergancy c-section and there is no time to get the epi or spinal block into me and they have to do a general I don't want to miss out on those precious days with my newborn. (Past experience has seen day surgery have me admitted due to the effects I have had) I have an appt with my OB in about 4 weeks, so will speak to him about it then.

ETA: I was telling DH last night, that I would almost prefer our baby to be breech, or have a huge head, or be measuring "big", or they tell me due to past surgies my insides won't hold up and I will need a c-section. As the downside of the anixety is that I will be labelled to posh to push.

This post has been edited by MrsLexiK: 17/09/2012, 11:52 AM

[Born Three]

I too was the same ... It was totally irrational however guess it was due to my mum giving birth to my brother when I was 9 and she ended up on life support due to eclampsia. For a very long time I was adamant I never wanted children.

My solution - Calmbirth!

It was the best thing for me and as soon as I did it all fear was dispelled. I have had 3 natural and pain relief free births and loved the experience - such a far cry from that anxious first pregnancy.

[raven74]

A very valid fear, OP. Fear of the unknown is awful, so make it as much a known fear as possible. Research calm birth, hypno-birthing and natural birth skills (juju sundin) and positive c-section deliveries these will help immensely with whatever birth choice you make. A doula is a brilliant idea and seeing a counselor/psych may be a good way to go to help alleviate your fear.
DO NOT let any silly woman tell you her "horror" birth stories, ok? Go to the Birth Stories section here and read the fabulous natural births that many on EB have had, and the C-section forum as well. I am sure many women would also be happy to share their lovely c-section births with you too.
FWIW a few friends of mine have gone the c-sect route and talk of how amazing it was - no labour pains, quick delivery, fairly easy recovery. One is about to do it again and is thrilled to be having an elective delivery, good on her!
Please try to enjoy your pregnancy and congratulations