[miss_heidi]

After trying for so long, and going through IVF and getting a BFP first go, with only one shot, I wish I was feeling over the moon. Im usually pretty chilled, take it as it comes sort of person.

And I really WANT to feel over the moon instead I feel terrified of everything that can go wrong. In fact I feel that on any given day i do at least 1 or 2 things which could potentially put my pregnancy in dire straights.

Eating out or even eating at home has become an exercise in anxiety. i feel as though Im on the way to a eating disorder. Dont eat this, is this safe, oh no I just ate the cut strawberries from the hotel breakfast bar on my muesli now Im going to get listeriosis FOR SURE, was that wood-fired pizza with the ham on top cooked thoroughly enough, my pasta on the airline flight was lukewarm rather than steaming hot and has some fetta in it...(real examples)
I just ate reheated baby octopus, reheated for about 10 minutes in a pan, looked steaming hot, not Im thinking... Was it hot enough IN THE MIDDLE? I cant just live on toasted cheese and tomato toasties right?

Then there is exercise - to jog or not to jog? Weights ok? No raised heartbeat - so how do I keep fit?

Then there is the very sad notion of m/c. I cant help but get tears in my eyes whenever i read about this online, its heartbreaking, and it seems that every woman m/c on the first go. Its my first go, Ive almost convinced myself it will happen.

I had a scan at 7 weeks, heartbeat, everything looked good. I have another scan tomorrow to check on progress..


Am I alone here? Is this just Dr Google working its magic on my anxieties or am I losing it?

This post has been edited by miss_heidi: 20/08/2012, 06:04 PM