[hiccamups]

You may not need a new car OP. We fitted 3 carseats in our car just fine.

In many ways I'd find it very difficult to have a baby and not have my DH's 100% support. So if he's going to be resistent to helping out then I'd probably work on ways of feeling fulfilled with just 2.

But if he changes his mind, just a little, I can assure you that 3 rocks.

[Bubble11]

I don't think there are any arguments you can use to change his mind and I honestly don't think you should try it that way anyway.

You both have to WANT another child and it sounds like he doesn't.

The best you can do is explain to him how important it is to you to have another and then leave the ball in his court to think about.

FWIW I was in this position 2.5 years ago. DH was not sure and I was. I gave him time and I did not push it, luckily, after our son got a bit older, he decided he did want more but if he had of come back to me and said "No, I just don't want another child" I would of dealt with it and moved on. Yes it would of been hard but I would not bring a child in to the world that was not 100% wanted by both parents in a situation like this.

I'd say give it a bit of time. Tell him how you feel about these things, why you want another, what you think another baby will bring to your life, but also tell him that you both need to decide together, then leave it for a bit and let him think about it. If he's still not happy I'd drop it. As PP's have said both parents should be 100% on this.

[hiccamups]

All you can do is ask him to not veto the idea. His reasons are valid but perhaps as your littlest gets a little older he may change his mind.

Coming back at him with counter-arguments won't change anything while he has his mind made up.

Not to mention you'll have to face his annoyance when things are more hectic and it gets a bit tough.

I would say to all of the above, but it's worth it and I'm up for it. You can't really do anything about the fact that he may not be up for it, sadly.

[pumpkin-pie]

As a mother of three primary school children, my biggest issue is the emotional energy required. Yes the expenses are more etc, but for me, sharing my time and being across each child's needs is the hardest part.

[mad madam mim]

which ever child doesn't get a sibling of the same sex will feel left out for the rest of their lives

well that's just stupid to begin with.. You can't force him, all you can do is explain why you feel you're not done and hope he will be open to it, perhaps not now but in another year or so. We have 3 and I don't really care about the extra work etc, they are worth it, hopefully in time your hubby will feel the same way

[WinterIsComing]

Listen to your DH, he is a wise man.

Certainly won't find him in a "I regret my children" boat.

He knows his limitations and sticks with them - it is not something you can argue him out of. Sounds like he's given his all and doesn't have much more to give.

[Princess.cranky....]

..

This post has been edited by Princess.cranky.pants: 06/08/2012, 10:18 PM

[JAPN2]

OP - I have 3. My youngest is about to turn 5 and the others are 10 and 8.

Yes, there are times I found it very tough. Its not so much the extra washing, cooking, cleaning.

It's many things. Going back to the baby stage when the youngest was nearly 4. The drain of 3 kids clamouring for our attention. The fact that it can be a juggle with the 3rd.

I love them dearly and wouldn't change anything. But, I can't lie and say its not difficult or pretend its not extra work.

[zzzzzz]

- more cleaning
- more housework

Agree to do that and your half way there.....!

[protart roflcopt...]

Agree to do that and your half way there.....!

Oh lovely. So she can bargain to be a domestic drudge in exchange for him impregnating her so she can have a 3rd child?

I don't think bringing a child into the world should be a product of "if you let me have another baby I promise to do all the extra housework that goes along with it".