[minidiamond]

Just after some anecdotal or scientific feedback on stress during pregnancy and potential affects - and also what I can do to minimise.

I am having a very stressful time at work right now in that it's possible I will be made redundant three months out from mat leave (due in August). I am waiting for my employer to give me some kind of detail - which they say is currently being ratified by HR & legal depts. Every time I have a conversation with senior management about it (two full-on convos so far), baby kicks around quite alot afterwards. This may be coincidental of course but it got me thinking.

The company knows my situation & I have made clear that putting me in this position is not good for my health, esp given my age & two early m/cs.

Obviously every individual handles stress differently so it's a hard one to have a definitive answer to.

Any thoughts ?

[opethmum]

I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

[~Supernova~]

At uni we got told that stress during pregnancy can influence a babies temperament...

On a purely anecdotal level, when pregnant with DD I had little to no stress (my whole pregnancy was a breeze) and had a difficult, needy, and non sleeping screamer. With DS I had a HIGHLY stressful pregnancy, both from pregnancy complications and stuff going on in my personal life. Despite having reflux he is a very happy, placid baby who sleeps all night long lol.

[whelmed]

I'm sorry you're going through this, I can understand why you'd worry. On a purely anecdotal level I had horrendously stressful time with work during my pregnancy including ongoing workplace bullying and a whole lot of management turmoil and and now have a happy, easy-going baby. I agree with the previous suggestion of accessing some counselling or similar to support you while you go through this. Do you have a mentor at work or a union delegate who could advise you? All the best, OP.

[minidiamond]

I would consult a member of your union and give them the heads up. If they are making you redundant and no one else that is suspicious in my opinion. It is better go in to "that" meeting all guns blazing especially that you are pregnant and knowing your rights as a worker in that position. You may be able to negotiate a reasonable settlement if that is what you want.
I do hope that they cut you some slack and that the stress can be alleviated and quickly.
In the meantime I would seek some counselling to help you through this awful time or just keep talking to your DH and or close family member or friend to keep you sane through this.
hugs and I hope it gets better for you.

Thanks opethmum.
No union I'm afraid ! And certainly no mentor - this whole process has been very poorly managed (and I have let them know that).

It's a senior director-level position and not under an award. There are others being made redundant across different levels, so it's not just me.

I have made them very aware of the stress levels & I know they are concerned from a corporate perspective - I'm hoping I will be able to negotiate a settlement based on the three months between now & mat leave, 3 months mat leave, then some kind of compensation for not having a job to go back to. But the process of them actually telling/discussing with me what's on the table is taking a long time.

I have also engaged initial legal advice on best approach, and if we get to the negotiating process, will probably have someone do that on my behalf.

It's the waiting that is killing me and stressing me. I'm just hoping it doesn't last too long. DH is brilliant at supporting, I'm not sure there's much more I can actually do at this point. All I want is for our much longed-for baby to be happy & healthy.

[Goggie]

OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling. Not from an employment law or rights perspective but to help you talk through the issues and how they are affecting you, along with some strategies to help reduce the stress you are feeling. Being in a position of uncertainty is hard at the best if times and just talking it through with someone impartial may be just what you need. Best wishes

[Pilar Palabundar]

Hey Liltuss
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially now. I'm glad you've seeked legal advice, this is probably the best thing you could do, without sounding condescending - I know it's easier said than done, perhaps just let it go. Be confident you have sound advice when it comes to the negotiating table and knowing you've done everything in your power to ensure you're not swindled out of your correct payout. Remember deep breaths when you're feeling under pressure (walk away, get some fresh air) and don't forget the end goal of that beautiful baby soon to be here.... plus I'm sure you'll get another job when you are ready to head back into the workforce.

Best of luck, and take care of yourself.

Pilarxx

[WinterIsComing]

I had a very stressful pregnancy, a combination of workplace conflict, personal issues and threatened preterm labour. Despite everything, DS was born very healthy, big, reasonably easy baby who is hitting all milestones well ahead. Anecdotal but perhaps encouraging to you.

[minidiamond]

OP, they sound like a large organization and therefore should have an employee assistance program (EAP) which should give you free counselling.

You're quite right taurus, there is a counselling service the company has contracted. I actually used them during the TTC/IVF process & the counsellors were seriously hopeless ! (I've been to a few). I have a great psych that I've been to in the past under the Medicare mental health plan & still have a few visits left under that so may try her.

Thankfully, I have all the tools etc I need to do my very best to manage the stress, it's a matter of applying them & hopefully minimising it.

[mez70]

It is one of those things increased stress level are best to be avoided but sometimes you just cannot help it. I know with my last Pregnancy my dad Stroke, then had a major septic infection on his foot leading to a Major op and Big Toe removed (poor circulation from stroke and other complications) so lengthy recovery, and then just when he had been discharged from respite he went on to have a heart attack (mild) and had a Pace Maker inserted so all up 3 major and life threatening illnesses between about 8 weeks and 28 weeks so as a result my stress levels were sky high, as I am an only child so managing dads care, sorting out his affairs, dealing with his work etc under POA, minding his dog etc. Then whilst dad was in Hosp I then had DS1 rushed to ED and admitted with pneumonia. You can get the picture. My OB knowing my history and what was going on kept a very close watch on me, I was on sleeping tablets very early on as I was not sleeping (at ob's suggestion)

Strangely that bub is now my DS2 and is the most placid and easy going of all 3 of my kids.

With my first Pregnancy I had a stressfull situation at work that resulted me speaking to a relieving supervisor (mine was on leave) explain was going to leave that day though she mad a couple of calls and spoke to someone in my team who veriied all I had said but asked coupld I come in the Monday to "hand over" which I did. Left 6 weeks earlier than I was supposed to as I was having twins and struggling already and work just was not worth the risk to "them" Sometimes I have found yes you take a financial hit but walking away is better. Don't let them walk all over you but at the same time don't feel you have to fight like mad sometimes the middle ground or loosing out actually makes you the winner...