[BadCat]

Exactly Ianthe.

I can't keep my kids chained to my side against the tiny chance that someone may wish to harm them.

My two started walking to school alone when they were maybe 9 and 7. It's a short walk and the area isn't busy. That never stopped me from worrying though.

They started staying home alone for brief periods from around 10. And yes, I worried. Still do.

But I decided a long time ago that I could not afford to let my worry interfere with their growing up.

[klbseb]

Up until today, my 12 year old was home alone for an hour in the morning and about two in the afternoon. However, after an incident this morning with someone driving dangerously towards her, and "stalking" behaviour towards her and being concerned with her safety - this has now changed.

We have made arrangements with her school (private) for her to be allowed to go to BSC and ASC (when the High School Library closes) until I get there about 30 minutes later. This will continue until the end of term (Thursday next week) or until the Police can provide me with confirmation that this idiot has been warned/charged or whatever and that her safety is guaranteed.

We'll now start with smaller things and work up to her catching the bus to and from school again next term.

[Winterdanceparty]

I know it is a different era now, but I didn't have any choice, but to go to high school at 11 (along with heaps of other kids) on the public bus and then walk 2 miles through a big regional city to get to school and came home the same way. I think this matures kids big-time to have some responsibility and if they are never let do these things - how will they learn.

[cesca]

My 9 year old stays home for short periods at a time by himself. The longest is when I take his sister to her swimming lessons - we're away for about 30 minutes. The pool is across the road, so about 100 metres from our house, so I'm confident that if there's any problems he could come over.

I'm also fine with the two of them (aged 9 and 8) going to the local corner shops or playground by themselves. DS has walked home from school with a group of friends occasionally, but I'm not that keen as there are some busy roads to cross.

It's all gradual.

[The Cat's Me-Wow]

My daughter is 12, and I have an almost 3 year old son, and a 10 month old son.

My husband and I went shopping for a TV last week and left my daughter home alone. I might have done it a little earlier, but she is a worrier, and never wanted to stay home alone before. This time, it was simply a case of staying home and watching TV being a more attractive option than going TV shopping with Mum, Dad and 2 babies.

This sort of decision is such a personal one to make. An age guideline can be helpful, but it comes down to your risk assessment, your child's maturity level, how many (if any) siblings they will be left with and the dynamics between them. In some cases, an 11 year old on their own might be less of a concern, than an 'easily-led-into-trouble' 12 year old with a ratbag 10 year old, IYKWIM.

Edited sleep-deprivation-induced poor grammar.

This post has been edited by The Cat's Me-Wow: 29/03/2012, 10:40 AM

[moral fibre]

I have let my 4 year old daughter ride her bike when we go to the park. She goes to the next corner and waits, but invariably goes around the next corner and out of my view. The first time she did this, I was adamant about being able to see her. The second time, I reminded her that she needs to be careful of pedestrians on the footpath and cars coming out of driveways. Now, I let her ride ahead and happily for both of us, it is not a problem.

You can sense her self-confidence and freedom, but she always comes back to look where I am (and her 2 year old sister).

I leave them alone in the house whilst I go to the garden. They always know where I am and that they are not alone. After ten minutes or so, there is usually a check from one of them to ascertain where I am, then they return to their play.

When would I leave them alone at home? I think 10 years old is a pretty good benchmark. A child usually has a sense of self-confidence by then - as long as they know the rules of fire, phone calls, etc.

As for going to school - we all walked to school in my day - nearly every kid and we were aware of 'stranger-danger'. There is something important being lost by kids being dropped off at school and not having time to themselves and being able to talk to their friends before class starts. It is integral to warming up for the day.

I rode to school at 12 and along some busy roads. I think I was knocked off my bike once, but my brother hit the asphalt two or three times. We knew the road rules and it was purely accidental that anything happened. You can't guard against accidents, even in the home.

[andieinvic]

This is one for us at the moment, dd1 is 9yo and has been asking to stay home while I pick dd2 up from after school activities. I am starting to let her, she calls me every five minutes to chat , which is fine with me. Last week it was a good 25 minutes she was home and she was quite happy. We live in a cul-de-sak with 8 houses and know all the neighbours, so I feel pretty ok about her being at home, anyone in the court who doesn't live there sticks out like a sore thumb. I wouldn't leave it any longer than half an hour though.

We've just been looking at high schools and I do wonder if she will be ok to catch a public bus to and from as dh and I both work. It's more the coming home to an empty house that worries me I think, but again, it's great having neigbours that know us and vice versa.

I suspect dd2 will be 35 before I can leave her home for any space of time whatsover (just a bit of a different personality type)

[fimamala]

My kids are 8 (Grade 3) & 9 (Grade 4) and we live 150m from the local shops and school is a 15 minutes walk. At age 7 both kids would walk to the shops on a saturday and sunday to buy the papers, and mid last year started walking to school by themselves ( with us observing them from afar for a couple of weeks to ensure they observed road rules). They have to cross a railway crossing and one street to get to the shops and 4 more streets to get to school. We have walked to the shops, Kinder and school almost eveyday since we moved to this house 7 years ago. I have also left them at home for up to an hour by themselves since they were 7 years old. Too many people baby their kids, my kids are sensible and confident kids. They are street smart and from my secret observation they have good road sense. Often I get parents of 10 to 12 year old kids say that they saw my kids at the shops street on weekends without me and they express their concern, I just laugh and say they are responisble and need to have independence. I am very active at our school and many kids who know me and my kids have said they wished they parents would let them do more by themselves. unwrapp the bubble wrap people let them free!!

[justthegirls]

Tough one. My eldest is 8, and whilst I trust her to be responsible, school is too far for her to walk, as is the shops, so she doesn't really get the opportunity to go anywhere by herself. She is too young to leave home alone, and given that she is 8 years older than her youngest sibling, I don't anticipate her being able to look after her siblings for another 8 years or so.

[Propaganda]

roughly 12.

depending on the individual child of course but 12 sounds about an age where you can go do your grocery shopping while your kid entertains itself at home