[lafonda]

You're job IMO. DS is 3.5 the only thing he is expected to do is put dirty clothes in his hamper. And he has to be reminded after every second item is taken off

[steffijade81]

Does this include 17 and 18 year olds in high school? I would hope at that age they were able to dress themselves in clean clothes. After all they are practically adults.

As for the not a slave comment. My children have what I consider to be age appropriate chores. They are simple tasks that do not take them long to do. I will not do everything for them. I am raising adults to be. I am not going to hold off until they are teenagers to teach them simple tasks. I have no issue telling my 3 year old to pick up her toys. I didn't pull them out. She is quite capable of picking them back up and putting them in her toybox. Just like I have no issue telling my 10 year old to take the recycling out, put her clothes away and empty the dishwasher.

No and obviously there is a big difference between an 18 yr old who is an ADULT and a 6 yr that is a small child. FWIW I don't think your age appropriate chores are out of the normal realm. I encourage my little girl to help pick up her toys and I think at 10 a child could assist with the things you mentioned. I don't agree however with a 6 yr old going to school in dirty clothes because she failed to look after them or put them away correctly or having a list of adult or teenager type chores. I think IMO, that at 6 a child should be assisting more than completing and definately be encouraged to assist with the family chores. Who isnt a slave to their 6 yr old though

[HillmanMinx]

I think at 6 your job is to double check that the childs basic needs are being met. Washed and folded clothes is meeting that need and then some. Teaching her/him to put them away is a fair expectation. At what point you have to stop the teaching and start expecting them to do it without prompts and coaching, is arguable.

I'd say, if they aren't doing it routinely now, work closely with them for another 5 years LOL and then expect some rebellion for about another 11 years, and then, when they are about 22, they will thank you for teaching them to be self reliant.

Im sort of kidding of course! I think by 8 or 9 they should be independantly and without prompt, put that stuff away, and live with the consequences if they don't. But meanwhile, whilst not suggesting helicopter parenting, I think standing at the door approaching bed time and saying 'its time to put your clothes away again, do you remember which drawers?' and supporting them that way, is reasonable.


edited to change draws to drawers :/

This post has been edited by HillmanMinx: 23/03/2012, 10:54 PM

[Jemstar]

I think some people here make it sound as though those of us who aren't fussed about their kids putting their own clothes away let their kids lay around and do nothing.

I think that kids need to be able to feel relaxed and comfortable in their own homes, and this means that often they will not behave in the same way at home as they do at school.

Although I don't get my 6 and 5 year olds to put their clothes away (and am only just getting my 9 year old to do it) they all have other jobs to do.

My 6 & 9 year olds each empty the dishwasher 3 x a week, and sweep the kitchen floor 3 x a week, the three of them are expected to pack and unpack their school bags, dress themselves, put any dirty clothes in the waching basket, make their beds and tidy away any mess in their rooms and any toys they have played with in other areas of the house. The youngest (just turned 5) sets the dinner table 3 x a week, and fills the dog's pellet bowl & water 3 x a week.

That said, this doesn't always mean they do it all and get it right all the time - occasionally I cut them some slack and help them out, and this is what I think the OP needs to do. They are children after all, sometimes I slack off too and leave stuff lying around, why would we expect kids to be any different?

However, I think it is equally extreme to be of the mindset that young children need do nothing for themselves or help out around the house in any way. Children do need to learn that we all have responsibilities.

This post has been edited by Jemstar: 23/03/2012, 11:05 PM

[Majeix]

. But meanwhile, whilst not suggesting helicopter parenting, I think standing at the door approaching bed time and saying 'its time to put your clothes away again, do you remember which drawers?' and supporting them that way, is reasonable.

I think this is a good and kind of where I stand.

I put my seven year old daughters washing away most of the time (well when it gets put away at all) but I see no reason a six year old couldn't or shouldn't do it. I do however think I would be more inclined to remind/scold/supervise the puttign away of clothes then to let them go to school in dirty clothes. However, don't put your clothes away/or in the basket and can't wear your favourite dress because you can't find it or it's dirty then well maybe next time you'll make a bigger effort. School clothes/good clothes especially I wan't the child to at least look half clean when they head out (although what to do about that sticking up fringe or constant grubbiness I have no idea lol... ) I also get them out for her the ngiht before why? because I'm disorganised and half the time I'm pulling them out of the clean washing or hanging them on the line... If I was more organised I would expect her to do it but I'm not so I don't. She is expected to have her reading folder/shoes/school stuff organised though as that isn't dependant on my organisastion lol.

This post has been edited by Majeix: 23/03/2012, 11:12 PM

[insertemotion]

I don't agree however with a 6 yr old going to school in dirty clothes because she failed to look after them or put them away correctly or having a list of adult or teenager type chores.

I should point out that she hasn't knowingly gone to school in dirty clothes. It was more something that I thought about and the possibility of it happening. I wondered if I should see it as a consequence of her not doing her jobs or me being a mother who doesn't look after my child enough.
The idea of my children going to school in dirty uniforms isn't something I agree with. But if I've cleaned all the uniforms and they don't put them away I think the responsibility is on them and not me. She's 6, not 2.

She has plenty of time to do all her chores. She would just rather do other stuff. I don't make a big deal about it, hence why this thread. She doesn't seem fussed her floor is becoming her drawers haha

[bakesgirls]

The idea of my children going to school in dirty uniforms isn't something I agree with. But if I've cleaned all the uniforms and they don't put them away I think the responsibility is on them and not me. She's 6, not 2.

This.

[kpingitquiet]

I know I'm a little late to this but just thought I'd weigh in as a kid who was basically used as a servant at 6yo (long story). I don't think it's an extreme thing to ask but, ultimately, her appearance is your responsibility. The bigger question is this...is it really worth the battle? If she's a good kid, does well at school, is generally respectful and kind, I'd say that's a win and that clothes aren't the battle to pick. If her on-the-floor habits lead to broken/damaged items like toys, gadgets, or, yes, clothes, then I'd start cracking down. But for a generally cool 6yo, I'd make it part of our afternoon routine to help her carry the clothes to her room and put them away together and put uniforms in the clothes hamper when changing into play clothes for the afternoon. She'd still be doing it, still be learning what's expected, but not left 100% responsible for her success or failure on the task.

[soontobegran]

What an interesting thread, it is obviously different strokes for different folks.

There are 6 year olds and 6 year olds but I have never made my 6 year olds put away their own clothes because I prefered to do it. They had lots of other age appropriate chores to do.
At 6 they packed and emptied their school bags, they did their homework, they tidied their rooms, they took turns in drying the dishes, they took their plates to the sinks, they bathed and showered themselves then cleaned up the bathroom after themselves and put their dirty clothes in the laundry. They cleaned up toys and games after they played .They occasionally helped me cook if they wanted to.
Aside from that they played sports, did ballet and played with their friends.

As someone who was vacuuming the floor, doing the dishes, making my bed, my lunch and taking the washing to the laundry before I went to school at age 6, then coming home taking the washing off the line, folding it and then off to the kitchen to peel the vegetables, set the table, then do the dishes again I can assure you it didn't actually 'teach' me anything other than resentment.
I was determined that my children would never be made to feel as though they were my slaves and they weren't.
Fortunately they have all grown up responsible and capable adults well able to do all those chores, obviously they learnt by osmosis

ETA--Just want to agree with kpingitquiet.......pick your battles.

This post has been edited by soontobegran: 24/03/2012, 09:41 AM

[Chchgirl]

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This post has been edited by Chchgirl: 24/03/2012, 09:57 AM