[Matthias' mum]

What worked for us was trying to resettle one feed for a couple of weeks, then working on the next one.

We set a time limit on how long we were happy to resettle, and how upset we were willing to let DS get. I'd try rocking or patting for about 10 minutes, and if it wasn't working and he was getting too upset, I'd feed him. It look longer then controlled crying, but it did work. We managed to get rid of two night feeds over a period of about a month. I was happy to keep going with the 4am one, so I left it alone. Eventually he grew out of it.

We never did any sleep training, and he did eventually sleep through the night. I found co sleeping helped at various points - he'd wake, I'd reach out and give him a cuddle before he was properly awake, and he'd sleep without feeding.

[Betty_D]

OP, to answer your original question, in our case there was a definite connection between night feeds and wakings.

We waited until DS was about 9 months, and then we set aside a weekend when (following a dream feed at 10ish), DH would then do the bulk of the resettling.

After a few unsettled nights of DH comforting DS (and offering him water in case he was thirsty, which he wasn't), DS started sleeping remarkably better as he learnt that he didn't need milk to fall back asleep.

Good luck

[lucky 2]

Good luck flowermama, let us know how you get on .

[trishalishous]

Like a PP, I try to resettle for a few minutes (if it is going to work it works fast) and if that fails I just feed because he goes back to sleep quicker that way. I found over time (he is 12 months now and feeds once or maybe twice over night) that he stretched out his night feeds by himself rather than me having to force him. It used to be 3-4 but now it is never that many (touchwood!)

Maybe at some point I will force the issue but for now I figure the path of least resistance is fine.

This is what we did too, and I nightweaned completely at 18 months (though we were only having 1 feed around 3am, once or twice a week)

[flowermama]

Well we decided to try the new strategy last night, but for some reason DD woke up at 9pm very unsettled and stayed awake until midnight! She finally ended up sleeping with me...hopefully we'll have more luck tonight

[~ Lucy's Mum ~]

Good luck OP, I hope your DD has a much better night tonight and that you've got a good idea of what we've all tried and come up with a bit of a plan of your own.

[beabea]

Not necessarily, but at that age worth a shot if you're game. At the very least, you may get to a spot where DH can take over some of the soothing, even though the wakeups are just as frequent (this was us with DD - with DS we did actually get less wakeups but he was a shocker to start with, so we were starting from a much lower base).

I found it helped with both to try and stretch out the time until the first feed. First of all, I still had the energy at that point of the night - it can be more of a tussle. Secondly, although some "experts" advocate the "dream feed" I found it was the opposite of helpful - causing more waking and more demands for milk later in the night as compared to not giving one. So the best sleep both times was when we tried to stretch out the first feed, making it fifteen to thirty minutes later each week, and then letting it all slide for the rest of the night. (So at first it would be "no milk before 11pm" then once this got easier "no milk before 11:15" and so on and so forth - water was ok any time. Recently we have been able to adjust things by 45mins to an hour at once. We are now up to 6am without feeding... we have been working on it all year, but it has been a manageable process - we found with DS that trying to change things too quickly was worse than doing nothing and letting him be).

I did find I had to get DH to help with this as both kids expected milk from me. Sometimes that meant DH had to take the baby and go walking around the neighbourhood for half an hour or so.

In the end, you may decide it's easier to just live with it until it blows over of its own accord, and try and catch up on sleep elsewhere (sleep ins? earlier bed times? weekend naps?). Changing a baby's behaviour can often be more challenging than changing your own, especially in the short term.

If you decide to do something about it, try and choose a long weekend to start it or even consider getting DH to take a couple of days off work. I've also heard of people who enlist the help of friends or grandparents to take the older child overnight for a couple of days to take the pressure off, because it definitely is harder in the short term to try and change things than to leave them alone.

ETA: Just saw your update! Better luck tonight.

This post has been edited by beabea: 12/08/2012, 11:44 AM