[newbubz]

My LO is 6 months old this week and has never self settled to sleep. He always falls asleep on the breast after/during a feed at night time and I always have to hold him to sleep for day sleeps and then transfer him to the cot.

I read over and over again that you should put bub to bed awake so they learn to fall asleep unaided and I would love to do this but my DH works night shift so sleeps til 10pm before work so I can't just let bub cry to get used to going to sleep on his own. I have tried over the months putting him to bed awake and then patting him, sing to him, create a routine at bed time etc but he just won't self settle to sleep (cries, arches his back, twists and turns etc).

Any suggestions? I just don't know how to go about sleep 'training' him without a lot of crying involved!

[**Mel**]

Are you happy doing what you are doing? Cuddling, feeding to sleep? If yes, then just continue.

I had a set sleep routine for dd in that it was always bath, book, boob/bottle, lullabies and bed. I fed to sleep if needed, rocked, cuddled, patted - whatever it took. But, did keep as much of the routine the same as possible.

By 12 months, she had dropped to one nap per day of about 3 hours and slept 7:30 - 7:00. Self-settled for every sleep. She is now 2.5 yrs and a brilliant sleeper - still naps.

Feeding to sleep did not create bad habits and, in fact, I miss those sleepy cuddles!

[*mylittleprince*]

I like the hands on settling method. Are you still swaddling? I would wrap bub, put him down and then pat and ssh for say a minute or two. Leave for a little while and come back and pat and sshh. It's not like controlled crying where you leave them for a certain amount of time. It is important to respond to his needs and you can do this by listening to the type of cry. e.g. moaning verse hysterical.

These might be useful:

http://www.tresillian.net/tresillian-tips/...-12-months.html

http://www.tresillian.net/tresillian-tips/...-14-months.html

Good luck/

[newbubz]

Thanks for those quick responses The thing I'm most over is the 2 to 3 hourly feeds throughout the night but that's a seperate issue!

We have a similar bedtime routine as you Mel, but does always end up feeding to sleep at around 7pm.

Appreciate those links MLP. He was always swaddled til 4.5 months in the bassinete but since moving him to the cot I've only tried to swaddle twice but he's houdini and escaped as he's just too big now.

[carolinej]

I don't think there is a way to break those habits without some protesting/crying involved. If you are consistant and stick with it, you should have the habits changed in a few days. Can DH just use earplugs until then? The protesting might only last 10 minutes or so anyway.

[katevin]

I recently went for a day stay at Tweddle (sleep school in Vic) and typed up a copy of their settling techniques...if you'd like a copy I can email it to you, as I think it'd be far too long to post.

Just shoot me a PM if you're interested

P.S. As a PP said, I don't think there is any way of teaching bub a new habit without some crying involved though

[bikingbubs]

I didnt 'teach' my DS to self settle, he just started doing it. I was quite happy feeding him to sleep/back to sleep when required then one day he changed! I kind of had a feeling I could just leave him so I tried it, and he proved that mummy insinct is very accurate! This was at around 6/7 months old...

[Molly Joyce]

Tranquil Baby is a fantastic sleep school in your own home. Very flexible with their routines. [website address removed by Mod]

[luey08]

I want to Torrens house sleep school in Adelaide and they use a single bed sheet to wrap them.

[~A Poetic Winter...]

I didnt 'teach' my DS to self settle, he just started doing it. I was quite happy feeding him to sleep/back to sleep when required then one day he changed! I kind of had a feeling I could just leave him so I tried it, and he proved that mummy insinct is very accurate! This was at around 6/7 months old...

Eventually they sort themselves out and go off to sleep without your help

The night feeds thing, can you co-sleep so he can feed when he wants to without too much disturbance to yourself?