[Lilymoon]

No, as the op has already explained, everyone gets the same level of care. If you have any money then you pay. If you are on the pension, the taxpayers pay via the government.

It's complex. My mum and dad slogged their guts out all their lives, we're the most frugals of beings. Never has anything new. No holidays. So thet could reslly enjoyvtheirvretirement. Now dad is sick and will need care. They have some money obviously, and all this will go to dads care. Mum will be left on the pension. That's the part of the system that is unfair. Mum would have been better off divorcing him bc at least she would have got money for her own life.

Ok sorry so my mistake, was just surprised to hear of a country with no private nursing system. Would she even have the option to pay for private care in her own home?

[mynoonmymidnight]

In the meantime, we'll continue our holidays with her and we'll see if she's able to contribute a small amount to the hotels.

But aren't you staying with her while you're away? Maybe she sees your paying for her trips as reimbursement for the accommodation in her home? It must be saving you quite a bit of money to be able to stay in her house.

I think paying for her holiday is a nice gesture of appreciation. I see that as separate to the issue of "getting her to spend her money".

If you want her to start spending a bit more on herself, which might be reasonable, perhaps take her out the shops and point out some of the things that might make her life more comfortable and enjoyable as she gets older. I'm not sure what this might be, it depends what she enjoys doing and what she needs. Perhaps a weekly cleaner, or some gourmet meals ? Or a new TV?

[Lilymoon]

Ok I have done some research and I am still not sure of the country but if it is the UK govt then
"You have fewer rights to choose a care home if you are being placed via fully funded NHS healthcare." (Age UK, govt publication)

So if she has some money of her own she can choose a better home.

[*-*]

My suggestion? Get her off to an accountant ASAP.

The accountant can then explain to her what will happen to her money/assets if she should require a nursing home.

Although it was after the fact for us, my Nan was quite shocked once she learned what would happen (and there was little she could do about it then too).

As it stands - There are ways and means when it comes to care. Again, a good accountant can help - But Nan never had to sell her house. She rented the house out, and the rent she received, plus her pension (she also had to hand over a fair whack of her savings) - Covered her care.

[Luci]

If I knew that I would be facing big medical bills I would be concerned about spending all my money on holidays and then just crossing my fingers and hoping the taxpayers would provide for me. As a general rule you get what you pay for - it "might" be possible for your Mum to have a better standard of care / living if she has some money to contribute towards it, or pay for extra things.

I admit I don't know a lot about aged care, but I personally would be really sure I understood costs and options etc before I blew all my money on travel.

Luci

[JRA]

I think given her situation it is fairly normal to want to have money to help with her care.

[howdo]

Wouldn't you want to save your money to help pay for better care as you age?

[Joey11]

OP, you may be thinking about a nursing home bond, which (in Australia anyway) you may have to pay to the nursing home when you enter it. It is then held by the home and used to pay for it
& services. Remaining monies when she passes away will be returned.

My Nan is going into a home next week. She lived frugally but in a country town so the house isn't worth much, though the family don't want to sell it yet (so Nan doesn't feel so cut off from her old life, and can take her time organising her things that she might want in the home). She has several tens of thousands of dollars savings, but that will all go to the nursing home bond and it's actually a small bond amount. She is lucky that the town she's now in has lots of beds in homes at the moment, the family was told that usually, with such a small bond, there would be months of waiting (I assume the homes take people with higher bonds first).

What I'm saying is that using all her money now on things she may view as fripperies is not necessarliy the best long term financial decision, when she is coming to a stage in her life where she may be required, or wish, to pay towards her care. Care is also not just nursing home care, but could be private carers to help her stay in her home longer. There are various government and council homecare services available free or cheaply but sometimes people need or want more. Particularly if you & your OH are not usually around to help out with things even like doing the gardening and spring cleaning.

[Sassy Girl]

I have seen the effects on my once very well off grandmother (my ^%$&^%$ Uncle went bankrupt and she put a mortgage on her house to try and bail him out ) have to share a nursing home room with three other women. From this I can say your mother is sensible in not spending any unnecessary money as the more money she has to put toward her care the better.

[4kidlets]

If you want her to start spending a bit more on herself, which might be reasonable, perhaps take her out the shops and point out some of the things that might make her life more comfortable and enjoyable as she gets older. I'm not sure what this might be, it depends what she enjoys doing and what she needs. Perhaps a weekly cleaner, or some gourmet meals ? Or a new TV?

But some people, especially older people, just arent interested in these things and in fact pride themsleves on their frugal and thrifty ways - 'encouraging' them to spend money on things when they dont want to isnt really helping them.