[kinicky10]

I second the no negotiating. We went through this same sort of thing with my DD and the more we relented the longer the routine became. I eventually told her that if she got out of bed, yelled out, carried on etc I would close her door and she'd be locked in the dark (sounds harsh) - only happened once or twice but she realized I meant business and now goes to bed no worries. Also as for the bedtime, our DD is in bed at 6 (she's 4.5) and wakes around 5.30/6am. She has always been an early riser and we've tried the later bedtime but it makes no difference to her wake up time we just end up with a cranky and tired little girl.

[Unatheowl]

Another one for no negotiation. It opens the door for endless delay tactics. There are certain things that dd likes at bedtime. Certain lights on, door open, certain toys. She gets one chance to go to bed without a fuss. If she gets out or starts demanding, she loses those things one by one for one night. Soft toys, special pillow, night lights and door open. No second chances. W don't often actually have to do it because when we do, there is no going back.

[winkywonkeydonke...]

Sounds like she could be overtired. Maybe try earlier dinner and early bedtime for a week and see if it makes a difference. When my dd doesnt have a daysleep she is asleep by 6:30pm at the latest. we do dinner at 5pm ish on days when i can tell she is tired. otherwise she gets overtired and doesnt eat or go to bed easily.

[Daisy Goat]

I agree with the b3an. No negotiation. She is of the age where she has discovered the ability to control and bedtime is the perfect platform to use it.

I agree with feeding her earlier. At that age my twins refused to eat if I tried to feed them at 5:30. If they weren't fed by 4:30- 5at the latest then they just refused to eat, refused to have a bath. It is important that they eat for them to feel full and tired for bedtime.

I disagree with people who say send her to bed later. 6:30 is a perfectly acceptable bedtime for 3 yos. 12 hrs sleep is a good sleep for them. And you may well find that going to bed later will have zero impact on what time she wakes up anyway and then you have an even crankier child by 6pm the next night.
Nothing but nothing changed the time my children woke up..still doesn't at 6 yo. So it is vital that a good bedtime is maintained for maximum sleep.

I would just lay down the rules. Stating that you are in charge and that if she persists in doing this you will have to treat her as a baby and take toys away.

[haras1972]

I personally think 6.30 is far too early. I've never subscribed to the theory that all children need 12 hrs - most adults I know have varying minimum sleep amounts, why can't kids?

My 3.5 dd does not day nap at all, goes to bed at 8 for stories and chats, lights out at 8.30 and will generally wake at about 7. But here's the thing, we'll often hear her singing or talking to her toys until 9ish. So she is averaging about 9 hrs per night, there's no bedtime battles, she's never really feral or ratty late in the day and she is energetic and happy.

Perhaps just try pushing back bedtime for your eldest till 7.30, see if you get a more peaceful bedtime.

[lilwonder]

My daughter is older (4.5) but I was just wondering if a CD of music or audio book might help? My daughter knows she needs to stay in bed but has a children's audiobook on which gives her something to focus on if she is having trouble getting to sleep.

We also start taking toys away if needed, then turn the bathroom light off, then if she makes a lot of noise or tantrums we close the door. As soon as she is quiet and willing to stay in bed we open the door again and turn the light on. We have only ever had to do it once or twice and she now knows that she has to be quiet and in bed if she wants the door open and light on

This post has been edited by lilwonder: 30/12/2012, 10:16 PM

[LovenFire]

I don't think 6:30 is too early, and quite honestly, I would modify it to being 15-20 minutes earlier first to see if you got a more peaceful bedtime, before pushing it back.

An idea that was once suggested was to give her something that she can then swap for ONE something else. Ie, a cardboard key that she can swap for one glass of water, one more cuddle, one more story etc, but that is it - any callouts after that would be ignored. And she has to surrender the item once she has called out and used it.

It may work, it may not. It obviously won't help with the getting to bed shenanigans, but a sticker chart may.

Good luck,

[snooze1981]

Our DD is 3 and a half and pretty reasonable what has worked for us is a reward that she loves - us.

If she goes to bed all week without any fuss her "reward" is to sleep on a mattress on the floor in our bedroom for one night only (you may have to make a big deal about putting away the mattress etc in the morning so that they understand that it is only temporary )

So far has worked wonders (4 months) It works for our family