[Livsh]

Wow, I thought I was used to the general EB..'I know more about your situation, the way I parent/react is better. But this thread has taught me otherwise! It wouldn't matter if I said I got sick of people asking me about my other head, someone on here would come along to say....you are an uptight crazy person, nobody would ever comment on your other head!
I'm not even really sure why there are so many comments about this from singleton mothers! Serious question here, but what exactly is the issue? Why all the venom about this? So The OP got annoyed at a random shoving their child in her daughters face. Why is that attracting so much negativity?
Is it the fact that she asked the first poster if she had twins? Why is that not a relevant question? If someone was on here complaining about having 20 children and someone replied, 'no way you are complaining about nothing', surely the only sensible next question is 'do you have 20 children?' Same with this thread, if you don't have multiples your ability to understand the specific set of challenges associated with multiples is limited.
So far we've had multiple mums aree a breed of our own, we are uptight, we think we are too special....it's really weird! I'm struggling to comprehend why you all care!

[handsfull]

Are you serious? Actually you did make the comparison & used disfigurement to make your point. Not cool

What I was referring to was a person that looked unusual/different from the norm (ie. who had nothing out of the ordinary about them). I also mentioned and so did a PP about someone being in a wheelchair with a missing limb etc. That is what I meant.

[Therese]

I am reopening this after doing some editing. Please leave name calling and attacking posts out of the thread. If it continues the thread will be closed.

[Sweet like a lem...]

WHen people used to ask who was the good one they used to look at each other with a grin and then both say at the exact same time while puffing out their little chests "ME!"

Perfect opening for me to then say.."yeh....they are both good girls and their little sister is too" and I would end up with 3 proud, happy girls all pleased that they were all deemed "the good one".

Sorry, but you sound way too well balanced and sensible to be on EB.

This.

I have ID twins and they are not a freak show for others to calm down their children. FFS!

To all the PPs -How would you feel if you child was disfigured and someone did that to you to calm their child down. Here look at the freak.....don't think you would like it.

Having typed and deleted several replies to this now, I'm going settle with people who think this way suffer acute mental vacuumitis.

[jules095]

So far we've had multiple mums aree a breed of our own, we are uptight, we think we are too special....it's really weird! I'm struggling to comprehend why you all care!

Because they're jealous. You know the deal. Multiples are sooo cute. Everybody wants them.

Our multiples get all of the attention & their singletons don't. Then when we vent about it, we're getting more attention & they are not. We are just a load of ASWs. A breed of our own.

Any mother of 2 'knows' what we go through dontcha know. 'Cause it's the same.

[kpingitquiet]

Not my section, so feel free to ignore but...

I imagine the social/at-large experience of ID twins would be a bit like having a brightly red-headed child out and about, or (like I sometimes experience) a curly blonde baby amongst darker complected populations. It draws attention. I guess there are ways to minimize it. Do hair differently, very different clothes, (or in the hair examples, a hat), but what kid ALWAYS wants to look different to their sibling (or always wear a hat lol). I'm very pleased with my daughter's ton of blonde curls but I also hang out in a lot of Asian-heavy areas and the comments and touches get a bit overwhelming at times, though I understand it's just the sense of novelty. I can see how it would be irksome after years of it.

As for the actual incident, putting aside from the twin aspect of it, I think it's pretty rude to shove your screaming kid in some other child's face. Find a different way to mellow your kid out.

[L&E]

So I'm guessing this isn't the right time to ask how I could increase my odds of having twins cause I think they're so cute hey?

[slc5]

I think it was rude for that lady to shove her child in your girls faces. I wouldn't want that done to my kids.

I feel bad now about when I was looking at a family with twins, actually my dh and the two older kids were all looking, but only because we are expecting twins and were excited to see someone with twins and imagining what it's going to be like for us. But I would never stop and comment.

I think to call twin mums a breed of their own is completely rude. I don't know what I would have thought about this topic if I wasn't expecting twins myself, but I do feel empathy for the op. from the minute I found out I was having twins, it completely changes everything, and mine aren't even born yet!

I guess I should toughen up, I'm sure I'm going to get commented on, stared at, pointed at when we take out 5 children including twins, and a then 18 month old. Seems to be socially acceptable to point out peoples differences (or similarities as the case may be lol)

[LockedKey]

Not my section, so feel free to ignore but...

I imagine the social/at-large experience of ID twins would be a bit like having a brightly red-headed child out and about, or (like I sometimes experience) a curly blonde baby amongst darker complected populations. It draws attention. I guess there are ways to minimize it. Do hair differently, very different clothes, (or in the hair examples, a hat), but what kid ALWAYS wants to look different to their sibling (or always wear a hat lol). I'm very pleased with my daughter's ton of blonde curls but I also hang out in a lot of Asian-heavy areas and the comments and touches get a bit overwhelming at times, though I understand it's just the sense of novelty. I can see how it would be irksome after years of it.

As for the actual incident, putting aside from the twin aspect of it, I think it's pretty rude to shove your screaming kid in some other child's face. Find a different way to mellow your kid out.

I have identical twins, a daughter with bright red hair and 3 children with white blonde hair. I am the mother of a freak show.

In theory dressing different and having different hair would work but in reality,from my experience, it dosen't.

[mumma-duck]

I have ID girls who are nearly 7 months. I also have 3 boys who are 3, 4 & 5 yrs old. I am sooooooo over the constant negative comments that sometimes go with it, to the point of just ignoring it and moving on. There are many years ahead of raising my twins (and 3 boys) that I have to force myself not to get upset at every negative comment that comes by because I know it's going to happen A LOT. I just take the good with the bad now.
The things that REALLY irk me is being told "oh I feel SO sorry for you!" or "omg you poor woman having 5 kids!" especially when my kids are around to hear it. Oh and when my twins were newborns I didn't like complete strangers touching them without asking.
I had a lot of comments today when I went out grocery shopping with all 5 of my kids on my own (DH was working) and I had a lot of nice comments from people commending me, asking if my boys were triplets as well lol or if I had 2 sets of twins... and yep even some comments that COULD be very annoying if I let it get to me, such as "wow, ya got enough kids yet?" or "double trouble" etc etc... I try not to let those usual cliched comments get to me anymore. It is hard to tolerate when it happens so often but I just have to (for MY sake) not let it get to me because as a PP pointed out, no matter how rude some comments are, nothing we could ever do will stop people from commenting or staring.

There is a line though, and I think shoving a screaming kid in the OPs twins faces was inconsiderate. And also, what if OPs twins were having a rough morning and didn't feel like ONCE AGAIN being pointed out as "looking the same" because I can imagine that would get a bit annoying to live with all ya life. And being pointed out like a "thing" to look/stare at as a diversion for a screaming kid would feel kind of dismissive towards them. They're not statues or objects, they do have feelings and are probably sick of that kind of attention *all* the time.

I don't think having twins or being twins is like a disability at all but I know from my experience so far (and my twins are only 7 months) it is tiring and overwhelming as well as a wonderful blessing.

I don't think the OP is making a huge fuss over it anyway, she's just typing about it on a multiples board. Not like she's writing a complaint to the school or the mum who did it. I think some of the PPs are over-reacting to the OP- IMO.

This post has been edited by mumma-duck: 25/02/2012, 04:52 PM