[Guest_Dinah_Harris_*]

I have to agree with PP'ers who have suggested that spending more time with him, rather than less, will help.
My DD1 is 3.5. She goes to daycare one day a week and the rest of the time is with me. We go out and do lots of activities during the mornings, then she has a rest/sleep after lunch and then we go to the park. She is not particularly good at entertaining herself, although I'm gently encouraging her to do more of it.
If I've had a busy day for some reason and she doesn't get much attention, she is MUCH worse. Destructive, rude, a giant pain. If I give her attention, play with her, even just cuddle her a lot, she is so much better.

[jo-v]

Another activity my DS really enjoys is the Reading Eggs website, we do the lesson together then he will play in the playroom bit happily for a little while by himself.

[new~mum~reenie]

DS uses to be really independent - even as a baby he refused cuddles and he literally would indicate he wanted bed, I'd give him a kiss and a cuddle, and then leave him in his cot.

But at 3.5 he wants me to lay in bed with him before he will sleep. He is more emotional and gets angrier quicker. What happened to my cruisy boy? I was very confused.

But then I read how boys at approx 4 years old have a testosterone surge, in proportions that are not repeated till their teens. Poor little mite is feeling his emotions more raw, he is wanting cuddles with mum for no reason. He gets sad and frustrated at the drop of a hat. He gets angry and talks through his teeth. But it's over quickly and he appoligises soon after. (google 'testosterone surge at 4' and 'raising boys')
At the moment he is doing 3 days of daycare (when I work) and hubby up until last week worked FIFO. So much of it was left to me to deal with. I found DS, even though he dropped his day sleep, needs more night sleep, about 12 hours a night. Waking him for day care is hard on him, so some nights we both hop in my bed by about 6.30, watch Mr bean and have cuddles. This has helped immensely. Also, going for walks in the bush to wear him out, too. I have found this just as good for me, too

Op, maybe your boy is going through similar? Just remember he is a little boy. And he won't be for too long. Soon he will be a moody teenager who will sleep most the day, and you'll have plenty of time for home improvements etc. Maybe you can swap play dates with another mum once a fortnight (you have a visitor one week, your DS goes to their place the next etc) so you can catch up on your own rest, too?

[hiccamups]

PM me your address so I know where to send the medal. You're clearly far better than me and I bow to your superiority.

I don't think the pp meant badly by her comments OP. I think it's just that so many of us would give our right arms for a break too, but it doesn't happen. Rather than commiserating, and understanding, because most of us do, it can come out as it did. I have a SIL who has double the child-free time as me and almost half the number of children. She often whinges to me about how hard she finds it and I do feel like slapping her. But it's just because I'm jealous. I actually do understand where she's at, except now things are so much harder and you can't really know that until you're there.

[Zeldagirl]

I understand about how you want to do things around the house, it can be frustrating playing with the kids whilst I'm looking around our house we recently moved into, wishing I could just get on with painting this or that room, designing the messy playroom...etc... I made a deal with DH that renovating this house would be my project this year (in between looking after the kids and parttime working) and so every weekend he looks after the kids for 4-5 hours whilst I do my house stuff. Could you work out something like that with your DH? And lol, poor old DH, he's absolutely ragged after looking after our 3yo son and 1yo daughter by the end of that time! DS is very, very full on.

[Livsh]

But I want some time in the house on my own to get things done - mostly house improvements, but that's what I like to do. I'm too exhausted after he's finally gone to sleep.

I The relentlessness of it makes me feel nauseous and suffocated. I often feel like I want to yell at him - recently I have been.

I'm increasingly relying on the TV, which isn't good, and really don't want to do anything except sleep. I just can't be bothered with anything at the moment.

Hey,

The comments above were real big red flags for me. Do you think you might be a bit depressed? The exhaustion, wanting to sleep and being short tempered might just be symptoms of the fact that you work hard and have a child to look after, but they also sound a bit like depression.

Have you considered speaking to your GP about how you're feeling?

You are definitely not being a princess!!!

[Livsh]

I have 3 kids 4 ,3 and 7 mths. No family and no friends and a DH that works long hours. I don't work and have them alllll day every day. No gym, no work no DH have any time off to watch! I manage, Enjoy your kids! Everyday with then is a blessing ! You don't know how long you have with anyone on this earth, they could be gone tomorrow , don't regret the time you have with them! Pleae don't sweat the small stuff

Can I get some fries with that holier than thou attitude!

Seriously OP, ignore the above and listen to posters who aren't completely divorced from reality!

[F1widow]

It sounds like you are not coping. I personally think that's ok. Unfortunately, people will always have it worse than you so you need to find an outlet other than EB.

I support the previous suggestion of the extra day at daycare even if it's a shorter day. Alternatively, do you know any local mums that you can do a 'babysitting swap' every other week?

The important thing is that you find some extra support and put aside time for yourself each week. You OP sounded to me like you are getting to the end of your tether and that's not good for anyone!

Take care.

[Citizen V]

I agree with spending more time, rather than less, too. And make it real quality time where you give your undivided attention and not try to multi-task (I'm very guilty of this).

I also thought maybe you sounded a bit depressed? Maybe have a chat with your GP and get a referral for some counselling sessions. It can't hurt.