[Mrs Manager]

My in laws have just asked me if they could take DD to stay with them at their house, 5 hours away, for a week. DD has just turned 2, which to me is much to young to be that far away from me for so long. They seem pretty miffed that I won't allow it.

At what age do you think it would be appropriate for her to so far away for such a long time?

[Chasing daisies]

I think its your choice and if you are not happy with the idea then dont allow it.
My inlaws always wanted to take my boys for school holidays etc...they live 14hrs away and couldnt understand why i said no.
My eldest is almost 15 and he has never been away from em for more than 2 nights.

[Bel Rowley]

2 would be a bit young for me, I was fine with DD having sleepovers with MIL and FIL at that age (she actually had her first soon after she turned 1) but no longer. DD is now 3 1/2 and my parents have suggested she could go and stay with them for a few days at some point (they live 90 minutes away on the coast) and we would be happy for her to do it now.

[kboomba]

If you are not comfortable with a whole week, think about what you would be comfortable with. Then negotiate.

Although I miss my DD's when they are away, I am happy for my mum to have them for a few nights at a time (3.5 and 1.5). My IL's on the other hand will probably never have my girls overnight without me there.

In regards to when a week would be ok, again it depends on the ability of the carers. My 3 year old would be fine away for a week with my mum.

[IVL]

My DD was 2 when she had her first week away at my parents. Her older sister (4) also went with her. They had been having regular sleep overs at my in-laws for about 6 months by then. My parents live about a 4 hour drive away and it was their idea. My parents also said they would bring them home as soon as they didn't seem happy or were missing us too much. I trust both my parents and my inlaws as much as I trust myself or my DH though. If I didn't, I would not be able to let them go.

They lasted the whole week and I think would have stayed longer, but we were missing them too much by that stage. It is great, they now go up there for regular holidays and enjoy their time on the beach with Nanna and Pop. I think my parents enjoy it just as much (if not more).

[Indi]

I think its your choice and if you are not happy with the idea then dont allow it.
My inlaws always wanted to take my boys for school holidays etc...they live 14hrs away and couldnt understand why i said no.
My eldest is almost 15 and he has never been away from em for more than 2 nights.

My bold. That's hardly something to be proud of, what about teaching him independence? I can't understand why you would say no either. Your kids aren't babies and due to the distance wouldn't have much other opportunity to see their grandparents.

OP I don't think it's unreasonable that your ILs want their grandson to visit. If you have a good relationship with your ILs and are comfortable they would follow your wishes regarding safety (car seats etc) and what they can/can't feed your child I would be happy with it. If it is the duration your not happy with, compromise.

[julzely]

Can you make it a family holiday and all go stay?

Maybe invite them to stay at your house instead?

[Baggy]

I'd let my 3yo DD go away for a week with family. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my 11month going. Both have stayed over night at my MILs though.

That's just how I feel, If another parent told me their 11month old went away for a week with the grandparents, I wouldn't think any thing of it. I don't think there is an 'appropriate age', I think it just comes down to whether you feel comfortable or not.

This post has been edited by Baggy: 23/02/2012, 09:39 AM

[CCLady]

My eldest was 4.5 when she went with my Mum for 10 days while we were moving. I think 2 is far too young!

[missj]

It depends on the child and their relationship with their grandparents. My kids are close to both sets of grandparents and love them to bits. They love having sleepovers. That said, my inlaws only live 10 minutes away, and my parents are 90 minutes away - not too far. I wouldn't have allowed them to stay for 5 nights at age 2, simply because I am selfish and would miss them too much and I would also be worried that they would miss me. Five hours is a long drive if you your child really frets for you and you need to go and collect them.