[~*Twilight~Zone*...]

but I actually don't feel sad for him. I do feel sad for MIL now being all on her own but I feel nothing for his passing. Am I a bad person? Surely I should feel something I've known him for over 25yrs.

He was never horrible directly to me but I know he was manipulative and used MIL to say and do what he wanted thus making her always look the bad person. MIL is the same to some degree but at least she is the one doing and saying things - he would do it slyly and then try to look like the good person.

MIL was crying to me about how he was horrible to her and made her do everything but she was still sad at his passing and wished she had of been able to said nice things to him before he died.

I haven't really cried since my DH died and now I never cry. I might get teary and all but never actually cry properly not matter what.

I feel so sad for his children, grandchildren, wife (MIL) but I don't think I can actually cry over him.

Am I an awful person?

His funeral is next Wednesday.

[~Fuzjuz~]

Am I an awful person?

No, it's how you feel. I feel the nothing towards my FIL too. Best of luck for wednesday.

[*-*]

My thoughts, for what it is worth...

After dealing with such a huge loss (in your case, your DH) - then often other deaths just don't seem to touch the surface.

I'm not sure that makes sense... I'll try from a personal perspective.

We lost DS1 in mid 2006. I was a mess - not that often crying - but extremely confused. Hard to explain, but I am sure you get what I mean. Such a wave of emotions.

About 18 months later, my Nan died. To this day, I haven't shed a tear. I was there when she died, but I felt no emotion over it. I guess I knew a greater pain, and anything less than that pain just doesn't register any more.

In the years that have passed, DH's grandmother has also died, again, I felt nothing. Though at her burial, I did cry a little, but that was due to dealing with my children, their confusion and their pain. I felt no upset at the loss of DH's Nana, it was purely for my childrens pain at the time.

As for:

Am I an awful person?

No, most certainly not. It's just a feeling, it's not right, it's not wrong, it just is.

This post has been edited by *~Katrina~*: 08/08/2012, 09:25 PM

[*Lib*]

Just because someone dies doesn't obsolve them of their past. You can't guilt yourself into feeling something for him just because he's dead. There is no one size fits all when grieving....look after yourself.

[~*Twilight~Zone*...]

Thanks it does make me feel better knowing I'm not alone with these thoughts

Edited: to delete quote from another thread

This post has been edited by ~*Twilight~Zone*~: 10/08/2012, 10:49 AM