[aurora84]

I understand that everyone has different priorities in their life but would like to know where having the house clean and tidy rates in your life.

I've always loved having a clean and tidy home. It makes me feel happy and relaxed when I have a clean, clutter free house. I spent my childhood living in a very stressful family home with my mum being a hoarder so I was always frustrated with the amount of stuff that was there.

My DH however is a professional mess maker. He is unbelievable to the point where if he is making toast he will leave all of the ingredients on the bench including the butter and not put it back where it belongs. He'll even leave dirty clothes on the floor of the laundry when the washing basket is less than 1 metre away!

This drives me mad as I cannot understand how you can live your life not putting things away after you use them. I am forever cleaning up after him and sometimes I just don't have the energy to do it. It's really hard to find the time to clean like I want when I have a clingy 3 month old which is my 1st priority so I thought he'd be more thoughtful and just clean up after himself.

Lately he has been enclosing the carport to make into a garage so naturally our backyard is now a mess with all of his tools and junk. Normally he usually has some junk of some sort lying around but now it's worse. He has almost finished the garage but has yet to clean and put back anything. I've been pretty patient for the last week but today got me angry again. I walked out to put the recycling into the bin and he has stacked some wood and plastic storage containers on top of the bin so I can't get to it without having to move a stack of junk and he's also left his 100th pair of shoes outside which the dogs have predictably destroyed. There's sawdust and junk all over the beautiful outdoor table and chairs so I can't sit outside with our son and enjoy a bit of fresh air.

He was meant to take me out tomorrow for my birthday but I rang him up and told him I'd prefer that he cleans the yard tomorrow as that would make me happier. I don't think he was too happy with that but I don't care anymore.

All I want is a tidy home, not obsessive tidy but enough to feel relaxed and manageable. I want to be able to walk outside and not feel ashamed of the yard. Funnily enough he has no problem keeping the lawns maintained, it's just the mess.

Anyway, how does a clean home rate in your priorities? Am I crazy for expecting this?

Thanks.

[I*Love*Christmas]

I LOVE a clean house. It makes me feel happier and have more energy for some reason. However it is sometimes not a priority. Spent 2 hours cleaing this morning - washing, new sheets day and a thorough clean etc. I sit down for 5 mins afterwards and the kids are already into everything. So it is nice while it lasts but can be sometimes hard to maintain with my 2 kids. I would like to start making more of an effort to keep on top of it though.

[Guest_tigerdog_*]

I'm fully with you OP, if I don't have order in my physical environment then there's no order in my brain and I can't function at all. Many people don't understand this, they think I need to let things go but they don't get that this is me, it's an integral part of my personality that isn't going to change, it's just the way some people are wired and there's nothing wrong with it (DP used to say I was OCD but I wouldn't go that far, I'm not obsessive about cleaning as such but in general I like things to be clean, tidy and organised). I'm also anti-hoarding, obviously it's much easier to cut down on cleaning and tidying, particularly those big clear-out jobs, if you have less stuff to begin with.

Although I do admit I've gotten a bit worse lately since DP died, we got a skip bin the week after he died and his mates came around and did a big tidy-up of the sheds and yard. I find now that if anyone, usually well-meaning rellos, brings stuff over or just dumps or leaves it in the yard without checking with me first (as DP used to do with the materials, rubbish and tools from his various projects) I can get irate to the point of fury and have to get it off the property immediately. I think in this respect it does stray into being on overall control issue but in general terms I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Besides, it's dangerous to have tools and stuff lying around when you've got small kids (DP didn't even used to bother locking his sheds and they had poisons in them, I had to check that they were locked at all times) and incredibly frustrating when someone is asking you where something is even though they were the last person to use the item and didn't put it back where it belongs!

This post has been edited by tigerdog: 19/04/2012, 04:16 PM

[Logging out]

My DH is the same makes me want to ninja chop him in the nuggets..

[amesv]

I'm the same. I prioritise having a clean house, a lot of my family and friends judge me and joke about me being OCD. Some days it gets me down and I feel bad for it but most of the time I am grateful I put such an importance on it because it helps my life run a lot smoother. I have three kiddies under 4 I can easily be out of the house within an hour of waking and I think it's because my house is so organised and tidy.

[**Xena**]

I like having a clean house but it's not high on my priority list.

[aurora84]

I'm fully with you OP, if I don't have order in my physical environment then there's no order in my brain and I can't function at all. Many people don't understand this, they think I need to let things go but they don't get that this is me, it's an integral part of my personality that isn't going to change, it's just the way some people are wired and there's nothing wrong with it (DP used to say I was OCD but I wouldn't go that far, I'm not obsessive about cleaning as such but in general I like things to be clean, tidy and organised). I'm also anti-hoarding, obviously it's much easier to cut down on cleaning and tidying, particularly those big clear-out jobs, if you have less stuff to begin with.

Although I do admit I've gotten a bit worse lately since DP died, we got a skip bin the week after he died and his mates came around and did a big tidy-up of the sheds and yard. I find now that if anyone, usually well-meaning rellos, brings stuff over or just dumps or leaves it in the yard without checking with me first (as DP used to do with the materials, rubbish and tools from his various projects) I can get irate to the point of fury and have to get it off the property immediately. I think in this respect it does stray into being on overall control issue so maybe I do need to be aware of and address this.

First let me say I'm sorry about your DP.

I understand exactly what you mean. There's just something about a clean home that makes you feel happy and cleansed. My dad is a neat freak and I get it from him. My parents are divorced but everytime I'd go to his place he's have only the things he needs and the house would be spotless.

I know that some people may mean well but they really should ask you first whether you need the item instead of leaving it there. It's probably more trouble for you to remove it from your yard.

[Kiki M]

I like having a tidy house, I dislike clutter immensely. But as long as the living areas are tidy and relatively clean then I'm ok. I start to feel a bit down when I'm living in a constant mess, which is what is happening at the moment as we are in the middle of packing up to go and live overseas. Not fun.

DH is ok. He helps around the house quite a lot, so some of his habits I let slide (like leaving cups and plates on the coffee or dining table after he's used them). Also, having a 16 month old who drops food everywhere makes it difficult to keep the carpets clean, without dragging the vacuum cleaner out every day.

OP, the level of mess that your DH leaves would probably annoy me too. But any time that my DH has left a mess (tools, bike stuff etc), I get accused of 'nagging' the first time I even mention it . .

[spersephone]

It makes me very mad to wake up to a dirty house, or to come home to one. So I like to tidy up at night and before we go out. I also get very angry when I've tidied and within minutes it looks like the toybox exploded.

It's about the only thing that really gets to me right now. I don't care if the house isn't spotless, but I don't want to be horribly embarrassed if someone comes to the door. I want to be able to spend 5 minutes doing a quick clear up and feel good about it. So I hate full on mess and clutter.

However, if you came over, you probably wouldn't believe I feel that way.

[jacqg]

My DH sounds exactly like yours. I have the same arguments week after week about mess and its's doing my head in. As an adult, I don' think it's unreasonable to be expected to clean up after himself, put his dirty dishes in the machine and put dirty clothes in the basket. Hell, our 2 year old DD can do it so I don't see why DH can't. I have found that if I won't have sex if there is clothes all over the bedroom floor, then they are quickly picked up.

I broke my arm on Tuesday night so I'm hen pecking right handed (I'm a lefty) so the house looks like there was an explosion with no survivors already. Here's looking forward to the next 6 weeks!!!