[chickendrumstick]

From about 16 my parents would buy me a small amount of alcohol if I was going to a party, with full knowledge that I wouldn't drink it all. I was probably having 2-3 standard drinks at a maximum.
I think the key thing for my parents was that they wanted me to be aware they knew I was drinking and that I was able to call them at ANYTIME if something went wrong or if I wanted to go home or if I needed help. I never felt they were condoning me binge drinking and I never binge drank but I always knew that they would come and get me and my friends whenever we needed them without judgement because we had had a couple of drinks.

[Sif]

I grew up in a very strict no alcohol house, both for religious reasons and personal reasons (mum's dad had been an alcoholic). I actually didn't touch a drop of alcohol until I was 18, so I'm not convinced a strict stance on alcohol will encourage devious or excessive drinking.

I had a couple of binge drinking incidents in my early 20s, but seriously I HATE vomiting, so I quickly figured out my limit. I had one party last year (I was 40) where I drank too much on an empty stomach and not only was I very embarrassed by my horrible three day hangover (it seem to take forever until I felt 'normal' again), but I know I never want to go there again.

I don't believe children can be taught 'moderation' by 'starting them young' I believe it only sends the message that alcohol is no big deal.

My belief is that alcohol is a toxin which is very enjoyable in small and moderate amounts, but absolutely dangerous and requires an adult mentality to manage...

I also have tattoos and piercings and my kids all know that while they need my permission, they don't have it.

This post has been edited by Sif: 10/02/2013, 04:51 PM

[soontobegran]

I think you need to be realistic as STBG said and know most kids will experiment to some extent at some time so talking about it is the best thing you can do.

Just found this 2 months later.
MrsShine, believe me I am realistic. I have had 5 teens navigate those years and none of them are any more than an occasional social drinker.
I did talk to them, we talked about everything, we talked about the fact that alcohol would not be tolerated in our home before the age of 18. I did say in my post that I knew they would have experimented at an earlier age but I was not and never will be happy about it nor let them think I was.

I think letting older teenagers try small amounts of beer and wine is good for them to slowly get used to alcohol. Just not spirits and mixed drinks.

Why, alcohol isn't essential for living?

[MissingInAction]

In all honesty I'd probably go a bit soft on them when they're 17... I had my first drinks at 17 and a half (somewhere between finishing school and starting uni), my family was aware that I was drinking, they knew what i'd had and how much and whose house i was at but it wasn't on their watch at home. But that was me.... I was a responsible kid with a fairly tame group of friends.

I don't think you can send them off to uni and expect them to not be drinking just because they havent had their 18th b'day yet!!

[PatG]

I think MrsShine was agreeing with you STBG

Ok guys here's a curly one. What do I do with a 13 year old niece who is drinking alcohol. I do not see her due to limited relationship with my brother (thanks to many years of abuse and drug use from him). He has custody of her (god only knows how) and she talks to me privately on facebook. She is drinking, and 'hooking up' with guys as she calls it. Mum is in another state and does not really seem to care.

What do I do? I am so worried for her but no one seems to see the path she is heading into except me and my husband..... its shocking.

If you were a mandatory reporter this would fall under the category of harm - perhaps you could find out the applicable avenues for getting your niece help.

You are legally allowed to drink in private homes under 18. It isn't breaking the law at all. There is no law against teenagers drinking - only against purchasing alcohol and drinking in licenced premises and public areas.

In private homes I believe the child must be supervised by a legal guardian....

[FiveAus]

Just found this 2 months later.
MrsShine, believe me I am realistic. I have had 5 teens navigate those years and none of them are any more than an occasional social drinker.
I did talk to them, we talked about everything, we talked about the fact that alcohol would not be tolerated in our home before the age of 18. I did say in my post that I knew they would have experimented at an earlier age but I was not and never will be happy about it nor let them think I was.



Why, alcohol isn't essential for living?

This is very, very much my feeling. We don't drink, it's not part of our lives. There are no religious reasons involved, we just don't. We also don't smoke or gamble (aside from the occasional lotto ticket.)

Therefore. there was NO encouragement from me for any of my kids to be drinking, and yes, it was banned in our house. Even after they turned 18, I requested that they don't drink at home unless they really needed to have wine with their meals. It was a bit like requesting someone not smoke in my home. Easy as that.

[Reader]

I think letting older teenagers try small amounts of beer and wine is good for them to slowly get used to alcohol. Just not spirits and mixed drinks.

But why can't they start getting used to it when they turn 18? We don't let them start driving before they can get their licence so they can 'get used to it'.

I'm realistic; I know my kids will more than likely try alcohol before they are 18. Doesn't mean we have to encourage it.

[~~HappyMummy~~]

My live in 16yo step daughter doesn't drink at home. We do a bit though but I don't offer to her.

I've heard she tried those premix drinks at a party awhile ago but it's not a regular thing for her.

This post has been edited by ~~HappyMummy~~: 11/02/2013, 05:25 PM