[fraidycat]

My DS is 19months and continually runs away from me. Onto the road, through the shops anywhere. He will not come back when called and when I go to get him he runs even faster. I have done the smacking thing and it still hasn't done anything as in he hasn't stopped to think. I am thinking of using treats such as a single M'n'M to get him to come when called. It worked for my dogs... Has anyone else done this and if you have used positive reinforcement what did you use?

PS - This is not about smacking. Please don't make it so.

[CherryAmes]

My first advice to you is not to belive that you can train a 19mth old to be safe in public. You need to keep him restrained in a stroller if he is near a road or in the shops, or use a harness.

My second piece of advice is to practice "come here" in the home environment. You shouldn't have to use lollies, just a fun game of "come here" with a cuddle at the end. If he laughs and runs away, ignore him; only pay attention when he comes to you. The long-term goal will be that he will come here when you ask; don't expect him to pick it up as quickly as a collie dog!

Let me reiterate that you cannot expect a 19mth old to stop and think. It's not safe. Out in public, keep him safe by your own actions, but it's fine to practise a "come here" game at home, for long term benefit.

[Guest_Baketress_*]

My son is the same a lot of toddlers do that.

I only know one girl his age that stays by her mums side and doesnt run off.

I know that now and I make him hold me hand at all times when he isnt in his pram or in a trolley I just cant trust him for one second.

He knows if he tries to fight me ill just pick him up and carry him, end of story.

When he does hold my hand I tell him, good boy (insert name) you are doing such good walking and hand holding just like a big boy!!

You cant let them go though for even a second, ive seen his little friends run out onto roads before and they were just lucky a car wasnt coming.

[Spotted Giraffe]

I have had a runner. It is a PITA. I agree with not getting in a situation where they can run off. It is dangerous. Plus my runner was way quicker than me, and even more so when I was pregnant. I'd also be making them hold hands or using a stroller or a harness. If you were in a safe environment, I may given them the chance to walk next to me and do the right thing and let them know if they ran off they would then be back in the stroller or on the leash or whatever.

[beabea]

My first advice to you is not to belive that you can train a 19mth old to be safe in public. You need to keep him restrained in a stroller if he is near a road or in the shops, or use a harness.

My second piece of advice is to practice "come here" in the home environment. You shouldn't have to use lollies, just a fun game of "come here" with a cuddle at the end. If he laughs and runs away, ignore him; only pay attention when he comes to you. The long-term goal will be that he will come here when you ask; don't expect him to pick it up as quickly as a collie dog!

Let me reiterate that you cannot expect a 19mth old to stop and think. It's not safe. Out in public, keep him safe by your own actions, but it's fine to practise a "come here" game at home, for long term benefit.

Yes. Well put. The biggest benefit will come from maturity and impulse control. In the meantime, a bit of come here/cuddle sends a nice message and removing the opportunity will ensure you don't make a game out of the wrong thing.

[Pantograph]

This is something that comes with age and impulse control, not positive reinforcement, bribery or punishment.

No way I can trust my DS who is 2.5. Definitely couldn't trust my DD not to do a runner until she was well over 3, though by that age it wasn't happening every time, but even if it's only 1 in 10 times it's still not safe - that 1 in 10 times might be the time a car backs out or something else really dangerous happens!

Even in a shopping centre where there are no big dangers like cars they can be liable to run into other shoppers or trolleys.

With most under 3's I'd say you need a stroller/trolley/harness to really be safe and older than that holding hands is usually enough. Some kids still need to have their hand held much older than that (e.g. 6 or 7) if they haven't developed impulse control or they may dash somewhere unpredictably.

[howdo]

Agree, in public is not the time to try out techniques like this and restraint is needed. My runner was in a pram, trolley or on a leash. At this stage. I would choose particular safe places to let her loose and test out the freedoms. Eg. The local shops less busy than the Westfield and we'd practice 'freedom' around the kiddy play area, near the food court.

I wouldn't use food for a reinforcer.

[Rach42]

This is something that comes with age and impulse control, not positive reinforcement, bribery or punishment.

I agree with this.

I remember DP being quite shocked that I wasn't constantly running off after DS2 (age 2 - 3 at the time). Either the situation would be safe for him to run off a short distance or he would be holding my hand/in the stroller. Once he was at an age to start to understand and control the urge to run I would let him know that if he wanted to walk by himself then he couldn't run off. If he did run then he would have to walk holding my hand for the rest of the trip. I would still only do that in a safe area (ie not by a busy road) until I was confident that he could walk safely beside me.

[MAGS24]

My DS1 was a runner as well. I used to either keep him in a stroller or trolley when we went out. You could try a baby harness/lead like the ones at Babies R Us. It took my son till about the age of three to start thinking a bit more about the dangers of running away and now that he's almost five, I still don't let him get too far away but he knows to stop and wait for me most of the time.

This post has been edited by MAGS24: 15/07/2012, 03:10 PM