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> Where do babies come from?, The conversation about sex…

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katykins
post 21/06/2011, 03:56 PM
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I must say that my mum's approach seemed to work quite well. When she was pregnant with me she asked my sister (then almost 3) how she thought the baby would come out. The reply was "though your belly button?". No. Then, "Out your finger tips?" Mum then explained to her, with the response "That sounds very painful mummy".

We grew up though with a picture book on the human body, and it covered everything, from birth to puberty. I can still remember one lovely illustration of a lady giving birth and the baby smiling as it was crowning. I think our grandmothers were a bit disturbed by the book, but we knew how it worked. In saying all this though, mum is a doctor, so we would have found out about it anyway.

Much better than her grandmothers approach though- she told my mum's aunty the bare basics when she hit puberty, and then when my grandma hit puberty she was told to ask her older sister!
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Haylie
post 21/06/2011, 04:02 PM
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It pays to clarify what the child is asking. My friend's dd (7ish) aksed the question "where did I come from". Said friend gave a great explanation with the basics of sex, birth etc.

Her DD said yeah ok, but where did I come from. Kylie is from Sydney, where am I from?

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suziej
post 23/06/2011, 09:08 PM
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The above reminds me of my SIL - she was laughing about a joke, her (at the time 9yo) son asked what was so funny. She told him - he didn't get it - she gave him the information required to get it (which involved an overview of where babies come from) BUT he still didn't get it!!
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clubbyman
post 02/08/2011, 11:33 AM
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Children nowadays are smart,but of course it doesn't mean that they don't need the 'parents' guidance.

Keeping things simple is the best way to answer their questions! Children has a lot of questions on their mind and believe me,they won't get away with it,unless they've got satisfied!

This post has been edited by Therese: 11/08/2011, 02:35 PM
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Nanaimo Girl
post 02/08/2011, 11:41 AM
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QUOTE (suziej @ 13/06/2011, 02:30 PM) *
I was going to be the mother who told her daughter everything and not be the one who just gave the book (as my mum did) or leave her in complete ignorance (as her mother did).

Unfortunately, my daughter is choosing the put her fingers in her ears and sing la-lala-la-la-LA whenever I try.


My DD11 does the exact same thing. She puts her hands over her ears and chants " I don't want to hear it".

She has done this since she was very little. I'm thinking I may have to get a cd made up and play it while she's sleeping lol.
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~Bells~
post 11/04/2012, 03:54 PM
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QUOTE (jewels1970 @ 13/06/2011, 01:38 PM) *
My mother had the perfect way of handling all difficult questions:

"What/why do you think...?" eg "How do YOU think babies are made?"

That way you find out what the child is ACTUALLY asking, and their answer tells you how much detail you need to go into. It also gives you a precious few moments to get your head togather.


This is an excellent approach. Must remember this for potential future discussions.


QUOTE (BadCat @ 13/06/2011, 02:07 PM) *
I was going to be the "just answer the questions calmly as we go along" mum.

Unfortunately the questions didn't come. They continue not to come.

Eventually DD reached year 6 and the school had Family Planning come in and talk to them. I asked her if she would llike to know some stuff before the FP session or go in with no idea. She chose to know some stuff but had no questions. So I was pretty much forced into the puberty and sex talk all at one go.

I had hoped that DS, two years younger, would start to question because he knew that DD had done the mysterious "sex ed" at school. No such luck. I asked him if he would like to know anything about it. The response was a strangled cry of "NO!" followed by a hundred metre dash to rival Usain Bolt.

Oh well, next year he will be in year 6 and Family Planning will drag him kicking and screaming into enlightenment too.


I remember a similar family planning type visit when I was in my last year of primary school. My mother had always answered any questions I had, but I think we both found this to be a really helpful experience. They encouraged parents and kids to chat (amongst ourselves) in between topics about our experiences with puberty etc. For example, my mother revealed that she had been very excited to finally need to wear a bra (she's the small chested one in a family of large breasted girls). At 12, when I was worried about similar things, this was an excellent conversation opener.

If the opportunity arises when I have kids, I will take them along to this type of event.


QUOTE (Haylie @ 21/06/2011, 04:02 PM) *
It pays to clarify what the child is asking. My friend's dd (7ish) aksed the question "where did I come from". Said friend gave a great explanation with the basics of sex, birth etc.

Her DD said yeah ok, but where did I come from. Kylie is from Sydney, where am I from?


Absolute classic! Love it!

Edited: For weird formatting.

This post has been edited by bells1184: 11/04/2012, 03:56 PM
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