[divineM]

Don't listen to people telling you you're spoiling a 5 week old! That's such an outdated view. I ignored imPlied comments about how much time DD spent in a baby carrier. Guess what? She's 21 months and she doesn't use it anymore. We did have to do some traIning but we did it at the age appropriate time and in the age appropriate way. Hang in there. The first few weeks /months are hard.

[Feefifofum]

Is she showing signs of reflux at all? (Google it, lots of info). The reason I ask is because reflux bubs often have trouble lying flat, as that's when the acidic refluxing starts, causing pain. My bub, who does have reflux, would settle when held because it was more vertical, but couldn't sleep lying down. We has a similar witching hour (four hours, actually), which would last until the wee hours, when she was so exhausted she just had to sleep. Apart from medication, some tricks that worked for me, that might help your baby (even if she isn't refluxing) were:

- Wearing her in a hug-a-bub during some sleep times, so she at least got some decent rest, and could then settle better. You might be able to manage this for a few hours before you also need to go to bed.

- Laying down with her nestled in the crook of my arm (which worked because it's not quite horizontal), rocking her if she stirred, then after she was sound asleep, lowering her on to the bed and letting her sleep there. This was safe for my bub because she didn't roll around. I'd fence her in with pillows.

- Tilting up one end of the bassinet/cot mattress so she wasn't completely flat helped a bit.

- Many a night I'd just stay in the bedroom and hold her on me while I sat in bed, or co-slept, and could re-settle her easily. An eReader, iPhone, and a water bottle kept me sane! I tried to view it as enforced time out for me :-)

I hope things get better for you, as it is really hard. It really is true what they say: "This too shall pass"

[nen-c]

Thanks nen-c! Did you do anything to "train" your bub? So many people are criticising us for spoiling her but we just cant put her down until she's ready or she screams the house down and then vomits.

She self-settles when she chooses, but never at that time.

Sorry OP - I forgot to check back in!! I didn't do anything to "train" him until much later - like 8 or 10 months, with fairly limited success. He also got totally hysterical when we left the room or he was left to cry and took so long to calm down it was never worth it. I found it much less stressful to accept that he needed cuddles or a breast feed to settle and just go work on reducing the time it took to get him to sleep.
Good luck

This post has been edited by nen-c: 30/12/2012, 06:07 PM

[FiFiLicious]

OP! My baby is 7 months and remarkably my memory is fading already!!

I had DS in a portable bassinet for months. (pram bassinet to be perfectly honest!) so I could lift and wiggle and pat etc all whilst watching my fav friends episode. I slept on the couch for 3 months to do this, it was just easier to accept that I wasn't " going to bed" just resting my eyes...


If its not too late I recommend hiring a capsule, just gives you a bit more time to rest if you don't have to transfer. I didn't have one with my # 1 and swore I would with # 2 - 5 yrs later, I did and it was ( is) a godsend. At most, he was/is in there for 3 hrs once every couple of days. You learn when it's "safe" to do the transfer which you can do cot side rather than go from car to parent to bedroom ( and various stimulating moments on the way)

Sling always worked! Always. I never needed to use it at night but I did " cosleep" in the most dangerous way ( on the couch) in desperate moments. The white noise and snuggle bed were useless for us, he was happy ON me, hence the super dangerous cosleeping exercise ( by god it works though!!!)
But a sling and a rocking chair is the biz. ( until bub's gets too heavy)

My baby was 2 months prem so this phase lasted double the time. I enlisted night nannies to give me a break ( best money spent even if you don't have any money!!) and my family were fantastic in just taking the baby for an hour during the day and or pick up and drop off my Dd to school so that I didn't have to get dressed etc, as feeding in the early days took over an hour. You need to learn to ask for help from those who are around. The majority of people do feel so good doing something to help so that you can deal better with this phase. Ask someone to come over and look after baby while you sleep that 3 hr block. Get earplugs!!

You don't say if your baby takes a dummy? What a wonderful invention that one is. I use ours ( even now) when he needs it ( which for you might be the wee hours) never when he is awake and only as a settling tool. Also don't unwrap prematurely, it's such a security and offer nothing " bad" that I can tell?.

And finally! It ends!! So do what you need to do to get through ( safely). NBs don't know time, night from day or the concept of spoiling. They are a bit like goldfish at this age and live moment by moment as long as you are there for them all. The. Time. - they are secure and don't need to remember how they got to sleep the nap before the last, as long as sleep came and boob not long after waking ( or in our case bottle)
It ended for us at about 4 months ( 2 months corrected) he did have reflux and in and out of hospital since birth but there was a significant shift for us at 4 months.
No need to train your baby but it doesn't hurt to follow self settling techniques for age appropriate babies. Tresillian are a great resource for this so tap in via web if you can.

GL!