[*Spikey*]

Credence, those comments were really out of line. Please don't feel bad about them, your photographs are fine. I thought they were professional, so there you go.

My work place is about to implode or explode. Oh dear. Miss Manager/friend has stuffed up on a project, having ignored advice from team members on said issue, and is now really unreceptive to um, feedback about developing a collegiate approach and letting go of stuff she's allegedly delegating. My fellow project team members, however, are getting all motivated on me. Which is what I want - but it will be hard to maintain when they're copping collateral damage from the fallout of the upcoming 'plosion. On the bright side, I now know for sure that 'its not me', and it has really restored some of my confidence. Less wobbly on the MH front, which is all to the good.

Allegedly is my law word of the week - I used it sufficiently well in the News thread on adoption to get it yanked off for 'review'. Sadly, before I got to read all of the comments - bugger.

Bad day food wise. But DH and DD have shared their virus, and I think sugar and caffeine are all that is keeping me on my feet.

to everyone who is having the gloomies. Or those days from hell. Its okay to have a bad day, just remember to process it, and learn what you can about yourself. The old "make you stronger" is true, when you get a better understanding about yourself from life.

[dogged]

Hey Spikey, we posted at the same time.Work situation sounds nightmarish. I'd be inclined to keep your head down and let her deal with it. If you get any further drawn into it you'll risk being tarred with same brush, IFKWIM?

[cardamom]

Hi all!

Sorry for my absence. I started both my new jobs last week, and have been feeling a bit stressed/overwhelmed, especially as I'm feeling very unsure about one (not receiving any guidance, etc.). Anyway, that's led to an awful lot of disordered eating, so I'm not feeling too positive at the moment.

On the upside, I'm still exercising ~5 times per week, so at least I'm still doing something positive for my health. I'm so glad that my cousin and I go to the gym together, I'm sure I'd have let that slide too if it weren't for her.

I've also been doing training for one of my roles (mental health worker) all this week, and it's been really heavy going emotionally and has stirred up a lot of things for me. That, combined with a catered venue (morning tea + lunch + afternoon tea) = bad news. Haven't braved the scales yet, but I think I'll get it over with tomorrow morning.

I'm also just starting to acknowledge how much my fatigue is affecting my life. When I was working close to home I was able to have a nap on my lunch break so it was manageable, but I can't do that now. I can barely get through each day without a sleep. I struggle to focus at work, my eyelids droop constantly. I actually nearly fell asleep during a meeting with my manager last week. Yesterday at training, I slept on the floor while everyone was out of the room at lunchtime I'm so ashamed to admit that. It's at the point now where I dread going to bed each night because I know how tired I'm going to feel in the morning.

I've always had this problem, but now that I have to actually function in the workplace, it's becoming more of an issue. I've talked to doctors about it before but nothing has really come of it. I've had the basic tests like iron, thyroid, B12, etc. and it's all fine. I'm afraid that it's depression creeping back in (at my worst I slept 20 hours a day) or that I'm maybe just an inherently lazy person. Anyway, I've booked an appointment with a doctor for tomorrow. I really hope I can get some answers.

I'm sorry for the selfish post. Super-quick personals:

credence, sod them. I've cooked a few of your recipes, and they're freaking delicious.

Spikey, I'm sorry to hear about your work situation, that sounds seriously stressful.

JoIsMe, congratulations on getting the house sold so quickly! That's awesome.

AA, congrats on the loss, outstanding effort.

dogged, that just really sucks about the funeral. Is there any possible way that someone else could take your Dad? Eg. does he have any friends attending the funeral? I wish I could help.

I'm afraid that's as far back as I can remember. Hi emmajean, seepi, Schmig, LDD, and anyone else I've missed. AL, are you out there?

[*Spikey*]

Aw, dogged, that's no fun. Hopefully you will get some of the day together.

Cardamom, it is kind of stressful, but at the same time, I'm not too stressed by it because I've got the offer of a different position (same type of job, different team) and I figure that I can at least make a bit of an effort to 'teach' my friend some better management skills along the way, which will hopefully impress our senior manager, who wants things improved in that team.

Camp this weekend. The thought of a tent is not helping.... The Joeys however, think what I've organised totally rocks. But then I am a very cool spikey, if you are under 10yo.

[Alacritous~Andy]

Credence, maybe I have been "dieting" too long, because I think your pics/recipes look delicious. I shake my fist at you regularly for your tempting treats.

[*Spikey*]

Yep. My main difficulty with Credence's recipes is that she's not in my kitchen producing them.

I'm waaaay to lazy to do any of that fancy stuff.

I think the concensus is that normal people appreciate and like your pics and the recipes, possibly a little too much.

[dogged]

Good to see you back cardamom, but your situation sounds less than ideal.

I have no idea what I'm talking about, but have you been tested for sleep apnoea? Hope you get some answers, and meanwhile, And do speak up about needing more direction in your directionless job. They are paying to get the best work - you need to make it clear you don't know what's expected.

Spikey I am not under 10 and I still think you're cool

No wriggle room on the funeral unfortunately. The trouble with really elderly parents is that most of their friends have already fallen off the perch. Alternative and truncated arrangements have been made - and if DS's access falls through on Sunday I will be baying for blood!

[credence]

Thank you everyone, I was just feeling so crappy yesterday. Yeah I didn't really understand why it continued after I had revealed that it was my work. I thought that people would have more tact then that. I'm feeling much better today - so glad to have you guys to prop me up, it means a lot.

dogged - I feel for you woman! Sometimes I feel similarly that my needs come last. It really sucks. Don't be too hard. It doesn't sound like you binged or anything. In the grand scheme of things it's just one hot cross bun. Move on, learn from it, reflect (did you feel better from eating it or worse, guilty?)

cardamom - it sounds like you have so much on your plate at the moment. I totally understand the catered training (I was a mental health OT myself). It's all sandwiches and wraps and cakes. It's really hard to keep track of how many little triangles you've eaten. But it also sounds like you're burning the candle at both ends. I don't really know what to suggest. Sometimes you've just got to embrace the chaos and hope it smooths itself out soon. I guess at least make sure that you get a good breakfast in the morning with lots of protein to keep you going, then maybe you won't be so ravenous by morning tea. Also get something really nourishing but simple into you at night.

Spikey - your work situation sounds really stressful. I also find it the hardest to eat well when I'm not feeling great. It's as if your body needs comforting things or needs the extra energy (who knows, maybe it actually does).

Congratulations of your weight loss AA!

JoisMe - well done on having the house sold! What a relief! You can stop cleaning now!

Seepi - I hope the meeting with the teacher was worth all the effort. I reckon in the future you should mention it to her that getting that time organised is really complicated for you and perhaps a phone call would be just as informative.

[Alacritous~Andy]

Cardamom, sounds like the training is quite hard emotionally, which combined with catering, would be a big ol' ticking timebomb for me. The fatigue wouldn't be helping either. I hole you are able to get to the bottom of it. Do you feel like you sleep well?

Dogged, that sucks. I don't have anything else helpful to say.

Thanks for all the congrats on my weightloss. But you have to remember that was after a month of no loss, so when I even it out, I think I am still in contention for the thread's "slow and steady" award. Lol. It is frustrating at times, but it is good to remind myself that the trend is downwards, and all those small losses do add up over time. I will get there eventually (if I don't keep getting pregnant).

Food wise, things have been going well. I went to a discount butcher on the weekend, and stocked the freezer full of meat. I portioned it out into meal size serves, and pre-prepped a lot of stuff (eg cut meat into strips for stir-fry and marinated before freezing). I have been sticking to protein + veg in some form for dinner, and it seems to be working.

[dogged]

I think you can be justifiably proud of yourself, AA!

credence - glad you're feeling a bit better today. And your chai spiced cookie recipe is calling to me. I can feel a bout of baking coming on over the weekend. I must confess however that it was not one but TWO hot cross buns, with butter, and a small serve of ice-cream. So not a complete binge, but I wasn't really hungry; it's more about the feeling behind the eating than the quantity, for me, at this stage.

Hi everyone else

I've had a crazy all over the place day; I went to a seminar this morning and was expecting catered-morning-tea issues as per cardamom, but the "morning tea" consisted of instant coffee and pre-packaged biscuits and muffins in cellophane bags. Seriously not tempting.

I am still feeling a bit resentful about tomorrow and my thwarted plans but know that I am doing the right thing and that I would never forgive myself if I didn't support Dad.

Tomorrow being the first of a new month I'm planning to weigh in and see how my stay the same plan for Feb has worked; I feel as if I may have gained a bit the last week. Then I intend to start back along the path again. I'm actually at a point where I could live with myself at this weight, if I absolutely had to, except that I have a wardrobe full of clothes I love and would like to be able to wear again.