[WinterIsComing]

If it was boiling hot and cooked within an inch of being burnt I wouldn't touch it.

Didn't eat salads,washed EVERYTHING religiously- because germs were out to get me.

Unfortunately I was like that my entire pregnancy, I think my 20 kg weight gain was due to this paranoid eating - everything fried so that the dreaded lysteria was killed! (when out).

( I did slip a few times, and was tortured by thoughts of doom for weeks afterwards, but here I am).

I don't have answers for you, I was anxious the entire time, but everything was OK in the end. So this anxiety is not some sort of premonition, or sixth sense, but a very common affliction happening to pregnant women!!

What did feel good for me though, is going to prenatal yoga and going through all the "connect with your baby" exercises....and repeating mantras after the teacher, like "the pregnancy is natural and healthy, my body is growing a healthy baby, I love my baby and the baby loves me" etc etc.

[Jenflea]

Also, not to be a downer or anything, but you might be suffering a touch of AND which is like PND but before the birth.
Keep an eye on yourself and your thoughts and feelings and if you feel like things are getting out of control, talk to your OB or GP about things.
I've heard IVF pregnancies carry a higher risk of PND, probably because we've gone through so much to get pregnant.
Read up on the risks of listeria and what to avoid on the forums and TRY to relax for the nest few months, easier said than done though, I know.

[dreamingofcats]

OP I can certainly sympathise. It took 4yrs and 4 months to concieve our first baby and I was a wreck the first trimester. I finally felt better after my 12 week scan only to have a bleed at 14 weeks. I had never felt so terrified or devestated in my entire life.

It does ease though, the further you progress the more excited you get and the more at ease you can feel. And like a PP said, you have to tell yourself you're making healthy choices for the baby, doing everything you can to keep it safe and at the end of the day thats giving it the best chance.

[irises]

...the further you progress the more excited you get and the more at ease you can feel. And like a PP said, you have to tell yourself you're making healthy choices for the baby, doing everything you can to keep it safe and at the end of the day thats giving it the best chance.

Well said.

[Bubble11]

What are the chances of listeria anyway?! Is it common??

Not in Australia. The record keeping isn't exact, so they don't really know, but there are less than 10 reported cases of listeria affecting pregnant women in Australia each year. The data I read for, I think 2010, there were about 50 reported cases of listeria in Australia, only 6 were in pregnant women and of those only 3 effected the baby. So pretty rare.

You might be suffering from AND, do you feel sad as well as anxious/terrified? It's quite common when a woman's had a hard time getting pregnant. Counseling might help. I've been really worried, up and down, sad a lot since getting pregnant. I didn't have a hard time getting here, in fact the opposite, which freaked me out for various reasons but mostly to do with my illness and the fact that well things don't just work out for me, so I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for it to all go wrong. Maybe like me, but for a totally different reason, you can't believe that goods things could happen to you.

I worried about everything, especially after I had early bleeding, worried I'll do the wrong thing and my baby will suffer, that I'd have a missed MC and woulnd't even know, that I was failing my baby before it was even born. I got a doppler to try and stop my worry and unlike everyone else who found it really easy to find the HB, I couldn't at all. But had an US and bubs was fine. And I kept getting more and more worried, in the end I had to just put it away, I couldn't cope with it. And I was getting worried about the effect of all the stress on my baby, worrying that my anxiety was harming it. And I made myself stop reading up on things and searching the web. For me, I just have to let it go, I had to keep telling myself that this is out of my hands, something I can't control. That what would happen, would. That I couldn't change that, that all I can do is my best, eat well, to relax, try and get sleep and do gentle exercise, be careful till the end of the first trimester.

You can't do anymore, none of us can. All you can do is your best, and hope for the best and when your feeling negative try to take yourself out of it, do something you enjoy, distract yourself, think about good stuff. That the best I could do for my baby was to stop focusing on all the negative stuff, distract myself from it, not think about it, literally tell myself to stop when I start going down that negative path. I still worry, but I find I can cut it off to a certain extent, I can let it go. I don't know what the future holds, so I'm hoping for the best.

[Princess.cranky....]

What helped me was avoiding reading anything that was bad about pregnancy. I stayed well away from the miscarriage and neonatal loss forums on EB. Also avoided any topics relating to problem pregnancies.

Stay away from DR Google too. I knew things could happen but I didn't think there was any point in reading about it and causing more stress.

Join your due in group and go though the pregnancy with others at the same stage.

Stress is not good for ether of you so try to make a point of doing something relaxing each day.

On the food thing- I think there comes a point that you have to let it go. If you follow the safe eating guide lines than that's all you can do. Agonizing over everything you eat is not going to change anything. Listeria is not very common. Many pregnant women don't even know about safe guidelines, eat whatever they want and have healthy babies. I didn't follow the guide lines strictly (my care givers told me that it wasn't necessary) and had three healthy children.

The PP has a point about PND in pregnancy. I had the onset in the third trimester with my first pregnancy. If you don't feel right talk to your care giver and get some help.

It dose get a bit easier when you can feel your baby moving. Try to put your energy into relaxing and being positive for the baby. Wishing you all the best with the pregnancy.

[briandrea]

I can totally understand where you are at OP. I didn't have IVF to conicieve but it didn't happen quickly for us and our first pregnancy eneded in a missed m/c. So obviously my second pregnancy was frought with anxiety. I read a great quote which was something like 98percent of pregnancies that make it to week 9 will end in a healthy baby and that made me feel so much better after our 9 week scan. Good luck OP, I am sure you will be holding your sweet healthy baby in just a few months time .

[seaside_shells]

OP I could have written your post myself!!! I have also been very anxious... and worrying a lot about listeria, even though I know it is rare. I am now 8 weeks along and anxious to reach that magic 12 week mark and be in the 2nd trimester. I tend to get myself into ruminating headspins just like you were describing ... it's exhausting isn't it?

I think it's normal to worry, especially as you have had a tough TTC journey, but I guess the more we can both do to try to just trust that all will be well, the better!!

Are you doing anything to help you relax? I love yoga and it's a real lifesaver for me at the moment. Also getting into the outdoors is helping.

Take care & you are definitely not alone in feeling this way!! Big hugs coming your way & wishing you all the very best with your pregnancy

[Pandorasbox]

Oh chickie, everybody feels that way - it's your hormones going ballistic. I know it feels impossible, but the best thing you can do is relax - about everything. The chances of listeriosis are miniscule and so are most other things - exercise will make you feel good, so do it unless you have a problem. Time to start pre-natal yoga - it will help calm you down. You could do with some meditation too I think...try Mama Bamba or Painless Childbirth for some beautiful pregnancy meditations to do. Very little you can do will have a serious effect except relaxing - which I know is hard - but cortisol produced by worrying about everything will hurt. So just do lots of things to help you relax and enjoy.

It won't end, by the way, by the second trimester you will be stressing when you walk and the baby stops kicking because it goes to sleep, and then by the third that it isn't kicking as much because it has no room = all perfectly normal and part of pregnancy. Yoga and meditation are the antidotes. Visualisation of your little one growing well inside you and safely will help you too, try ten minutes a day.

[.MrsM.]

i felt very similar. after trying for 18months and having had a miscarriage, i could not enjoy this pregnancy for a while either.

i didn't connect at all with the fact that i was pregnant or get excited until after the 12wk scan was all ok (now just over 14wks). people would ask me if i was excited about being pregnant and i would just say no. they would think i meant because i was so sick, but it was because i was trying not to get too attatched to the baby as i thought it wouldn't stick around.

now i believe that if anything happens, its probably not going to be anything that is in my control, so im trying not getting too hung up on anything anymore.

hopefully when you reach that magical 12wk mark you'll feel heaps better. take care of yourself and try not to over stress yourself.