[JoIsMe]

DD loves interacting with anyone. So she is great at daycare as there are people there. She is great meeting new people. She is definitely not shy. It's just at home she needs people and thus it's DH and I and we are trying to do stuff that a 3 year old cant help with.


However, this week, we have decided to put her straight into our bed with one of us going to sleep with her, DH has been great taking her outside to help (hinder) his gardening, driveway prep stuff. And surprisingly she has made a but of a leap to doing some on her own role playing stuff with her toys and empty boxes. However, I need to be in the room (every time, I go out of the room, she stops and comes).

We are trying to be more patient. It's gotten better this week, so thanks for replies as it has helped to re focus.

With the sleeping thing, we were doing the "back in 5 mins" thing but even that caused tantrums this week, and the last few nights she has said very quietly she is very scared. I think it's the moving thing. So I think it's not worth the battle and we will pick that up again when she is a bit more settled. It's amazing how much easier it is to cope by accepting it rather than battling against it.

[tenacious2]

Have you noticed that the busier you are, the more needy they become?! My DD is a child who feels the need for LOTS of interaction. As a baby she would be banging on windows and screaming with tears as I brought the shopping in. I was so worried she would hurtnherself breaking a window that I used to put her in a baby carrier backpack to bring the shopping in.

She has always wanted someone to interact with and even now when drawing or playing on the iPad, she'll tell everyone what she is doing and try to get them involved. Now she has a brother to play with, he's become the new object of her attention, as she ropes him into her games/activities. Unlike my DD, he is a lot more independent and is quite happy to play with Lego, play in the sandpit or look at books by himself.

I agree with those who have suggested starting her up with a similar activity to what you are doing and plan for your jobs to take twice as long. If you both work full time and are renovating a house I'm sure she is just craving your attention. Sometimes giving a little undivided attention when she's starting an activity pays off and once she's engrossed in the activity you can continue with your own task.

[beabea]

If I can go a bit Myers-Briggs on you, it sounds like she's an extrovert. An introvert can also be clingy, but usually it's more about not wanting to separate from familiar figures. With your DD it sounds like she just thrives on and craves social attention - to an extent which is overwhelming when you're the only ones to supply it (are you two introverts? or is she just off-the-scale?).

If this is the case - extrovert child with introvert parents or just less extraverted parents - the best solution is probably to keep going with the strategy of sharing her around, but adding in a strategy for holing yourself up to recover from all the social contact.

Or it could be a clash between wanting to be organised (due to the move) and a normal 3yo being disorganised. In which case... I don't really have much more of a solution... more babysitting and telling yourself it'll be over soon?

[JoIsMe]

Beabea, I think you are right. On M-B she probably is an extrovert, we are definitely introverts, in that we both need alone time to recharge. With all the stuff that is going on, my coping levels are over stretched and I desparately need some alone time and I am just not getting it. It's something that I need to make a priority. dH has gym time which I suspect is his recharge. Something to ponder I think.

[trishalishous]

I have 6 hrs a week on my own (4 gym sessions and the travel time) and I really feel like a better parent for having that break.
Ive found it so much easier to 'give myself' to my children, and be there as they need me, with the regular break to be 'me'