[ResultsNotTypica...]

I don't think it is "dictating" to suggest that a school function is not the best setting for consumption of alcohol. No one is saying to give up alcohol altogether. Just some people are saying that perhaps it might be preferrable, and more inclusive and more family friendly to just not have it at a school function.

Your suggestions are quite, um, forceful though, and assume that my stance and my intake must change to suit your sensibilities.

My suggestion is that I do it my way and you do it your way. I let you choose, and you step out of my business and let me choose.

I would never consider getting drunk at a school (or at any child friendly) function. I may choose to drink a moderate amount, as is my right, I may choose to abstain.

Inclusive is allowing for more options, rather than banning things, usually.

I don't take a big interest in what other parents are eating and drinking at our school functions.

This post has been edited by NannaNapper: 12/04/2012, 10:20 PM

[Grey]

If you were actually pointing out typical alcoholic behaviour, it would be more understandable. However, you are equating an occasional single glass of wine on a social occasion with rampant alcoholism. You clearly don't understand what typical alcoholic behaviour actually is, which is why your comments are being refuted.

If you had a relatively decent level of comprehension, you would already understand that it isn't the drinking I am referring to. It is in fact the excessive "whats wrong with ya?!?!?!" posts that are coming from those who think drinking at school functions, indeed NEEDING a drink to get through a school function is 'normal'.

The alcoholic behaviour I am referring to is the belief that if you don't do as they do, or think as they think, then there is something wrong with YOU. There is plenty of that in this thread.

Having grown up with alcoholism I understand all too well what alcoholic behaviour is. Far better than someone whose sole understanding comes from a DSM-IV manual I suspect.

[SarahM72]

Inclusive is allowing for more options, rather than banning things, usually.

Well it depends of course on what we are talking about. But in regards to alcohol, as obviously people don't have to drink alcohol, then not having alcohol should make it a welcoming experience for all comers.

I also think perhaps it does depend on the school enviroment. Some PP said it was alright at her school because they were upper middle class, LOL. But anyway I'm guessing that actually some schools most parents would not mind. But I know that in my area that alot of parents would feel alienated and left out by having alcohol served at a school function, and they would feel not welcome. Also, at a public school, I really think that it is important to be as inclusive as possible. Probably at private schools there is more leeway to serve alcohol as I assume there is less difference in the sort of people who attend private schools, whereas as public schools there is more difference, and also a need to be inclusive, as often the people sending their kids to public schools have no choice in the matter.

I don't see how I'm being forceful nannanapper. It's just a few hours that I'm suggesting that parents could go without alcohol, so that everyone feels welcome to attend a school event.

[JAPN2]

I also think perhaps it does depend on the school enviroment. Some PP said it was alright at her school because they were upper middle class, LOL. But anyway I'm guessing that actually some schools most parents would not mind. But I know that in my area that alot of parents would feel alienated and left out by having alcohol served at a school function, and they would feel not welcome. Also, at a public school, I really think that it is important to be as inclusive as possible. Probably at private schools there is more leeway to serve alcohol as I assume there is less difference in the sort of people who attend private schools, whereas as public schools there is more difference, and also a need to be inclusive, as often the people sending their kids to public schools have no choice in the matter.

In a setting where food and drink is being provided then options should be given. For those where its a picnic or BYO, I'm failing to understand the inclusive bit.

For example, many families at our public school are Jewish including myself. However, where I am self catering, I and my cohort can take food and drink that suits us and any dietary requirement we might have. I don't worry what others consume because no one is forcing me to consume it.

So when you say inclusive I'm not really understanding. Are you saying people won't attend because others may consume alcohol for what reasons exactly? They are opposed on religious grounds, because they themselves are alcoholics? Is there some other reasons they won't attend where there is alcohol they themselves are not being asked to consume??? Please explain why people should not feel welcome?

This post has been edited by JAPN2: 12/04/2012, 10:40 PM

[LeChatNinjah]

Having grown up with alcoholism I understand all too well what alcoholic behaviour is

I'm very sorry to hear that you grew up with that, but it must be pointed out yet again, for the umpteenth time, that having one or two alcoholic drinks at a BBQ or picnic is not necessarily alcoholic behaviour.

Let me say that again. Having one or two alcoholic drinks at a BBQ or picnic is not necessarily alcoholic behaviour.

In fact, I'd say it's downright close to being the opposite! Show me the alcoholic who can have one or two then stop.

And another point to address is the one you made along the lines of "HAVING" to have alcohol. It is possible to choose to have a glass of wine without feeling that one simply MUST have a glass of wine. It's probably understandably hard to see that if you grew up in a household where drinking and alcoholism was a problem, and again, I'm so sorry you did, it must have been difficult, but please try to understand that what you experienced is not the only way to ever consume alcohol.

And FWIW, I've kind of been where you were to a point. My father would have escalated from heavy social drinking into full-blown alcoholism if he hadn't have developed diabetes and had my mother threaten to leave him. I remember the pre-diabetes years. It wasn't always pretty, but I am lucky in that it was never violent or abusive.

Not to us, anyway. The risks he took drinking and driving with a wife and 2 young children at home raise the hairs on my neck even now.

But I also had the other side of the coin to see. My mother has maybe 2 half glasses of wine a year these days, but back then she'd maybe have one glass every few weeks at a social gathering. Many of the people my parents socialised with were also my teachers at the time, and while a few got a bit silly on occasion, they never got dangerous or abusive.

There is some middle ground, I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

[Jane Jetson]

The alcoholic behaviour I am referring to is the belief that if you don't do as they do, or think as they think, then there is something wrong with YOU. There is plenty of that in this thread.

Yep. Lots. The "think as I think or there's something wrong with you" attitude is mostly coming from you.

You've also assumed that any clinical understanding of alcoholism precludes any direct experience. I've seen it too growing up, and it's quite far removed from what we're talking about here: having one glass of wine at a school function.

Again, it's not a case of "what's wrong with ya". It's a case of you deciding that you should get to make the rules about what everybody else does, and hysterically declaring us alcoholics because we simply don't agree with your stance.

For the record, I don't need a drink to get through a school function. Nobody here has said they do, apart from a couple of people who were clearly joking.

[threelittlegems]

Having grown up with alcoholism I understand all too well what alcoholic behaviour is. Far better than someone whose sole understanding comes from a DSM-IV manual I suspect.

And I come from a very strict fundamentalist family who did everything they could to ensure we were not exposed to alcohol at all. That didn't prepare us for the real world at all.

We come from opposite extremes, with resulting opposite view points. There is no right or wrong.

[howdo]

Well it depends of course on what we are talking about. But in regards to alcohol, as obviously people don't have to drink alcohol, then not having alcohol should make it a welcoming experience for all comers.

I also think perhaps it does depend on the school enviroment. Some PP said it was alright at her school because they were upper middle class, LOL. But anyway I'm guessing that actually some schools most parents would not mind. But I know that in my area that alot of parents would feel alienated and left out by having alcohol served at a school function, and they would feel not welcome. Also, at a public school, I really think that it is important to be as inclusive as possible. Probably at private schools there is more leeway to serve alcohol as I assume there is less difference in the sort of people who attend private schools, whereas as public schools there is more difference, and also a need to be inclusive, as often the people sending their kids to public schools have no choice in the matter.

I don't see how I'm being forceful nannanapper. It's just a few hours that I'm suggesting that parents could go without alcohol, so that everyone feels welcome to attend a school event.

What? What on earth does this even mean?

Who feels unwelcome because other people BYO? Or a beer tent at a fete.

Why are the 'people at private school' less different to each other than those poor public school people who have no choice in the matter.

I say again, WTF?

People's level of comfort with alcohol is directly related to whether or not they chose private school, if they had a choice in education and the poor saps at public school are a vast array of people who ...

See I don't even know what you are suggesting here - that public schooling is some sort of second class non choice - the place that's left over when you are not privileged enough for private school. That those people with kids at public school are not the kind of people who can handle alcohol at a function? Who shouldn't be tempted with alcohol? Who can't afford to buy alcohol?

FYI Those people who CHOOSE to send kids to public school don't suddenly become people who feel excluded if there is alcohol at an event.

I don't even DRINK alcohol and it doesn't make me feel excluded if there is a few glasses of champers at a school fete.

See THEY have the beer/wine/champers and I have a can of lemonade. Everybody's included. the presence of alcohol doesn't exclude anyone!

I say again WTF?!?!?!?

This post has been edited by howdo: 12/04/2012, 11:00 PM

[**Mel**]

Well said H. I read that post shaking my head wondering what the hell she was on about. I couldn't even come up with a reply as I had no idea what she was getting at.

[SarahM72]

Well Howdo, I only mentioned it because a PP said it would be alright at their school because they were upper middle class. And yes, quite frankly it is often the case that public schooling is the place that's left over for those not priveleged enough for private school. Which is why, IMO, public school events should be inclusive and welcoming events for all who attend the school.