[wrong]

Interestingly, when I asked my husband who he loved more, me or the kids, he answered with the very fence-sitting reply of “I love you the same, but differently”. I started to gently berate him for his cop out response, but then realised he had it right. Not more or less, just different.

+1
Love can be difficult to quantify.

However, if the question is Who comes first..your children or your partner?, then it is the partner.

[Guest_tigerdog_*]

OP the context was probably that Keith sees maintaining his relationship with his wife imperative to being a good and loving father to his daughters. I also copped this when I got my partner's name tattoed but haven't got my kids' - I don't know why this is but even before kids I said I would never get their names, just my partner's.

[HillmanMinx]

My responsibility is to my children. Its not comparable to 'love' of other kinds.

[YodaTheWrinkledO...]

It is important to me that my relationship with my husband doesn't get neglected, even if that means putting it first at times to make sure it is nurtured. But just because making sure that our relationship stays strong is a priority doesn't automatically mean we are neglecting our child or that we love him any less. It's not an either/or situation. We have have enough love to go around.

totally agree with this.

You know how eskimos apparently have 53 different words for "snow"? (or something like that). It would be interesting if the english language had a number of different words for "love". Then we wouldn't be having this debate. Because love isn't one thing, it is many different things. Comparing love for my husband with love for my kids is like saying "which body organ do you like best, your kidneys or your liver?". Exactly, it is a stupid question and it doesn't make much sense.

great analogy

My best friend and I had this talk not so long ago. Both of us said our children. We just both feel so fiercely protective of them, its really a primal feeling, as a PP stated.

protectiveness is not the same as love. It can be a part of love (ie. wanting to care) but I don't see primal protectiveness as the same as love.

My responsibility is to my children. Its not comparable to 'love' of other kinds.

agree it is two different things

[ellie1326]

Never ever could I love anyone like I love my children.

[newbie@coogee]

I love my husband more than my kids. If I had to choose between my husband or my kids, I would definitely choose my husband.

[LifesGood]

Doesn't it kind of have a lot to do with how good your relationship with your partner is? And your kids for that matter? And the age of your kids?

I love my DH and kids unconditionally, I couldn't 'rank' them. I always thought I'd love my DH more than any kids we had, until we had kids.

But I do recall as a child asking my mum whether she loved me and my brother or my dad more and she said my dad. I remember feeling a little bit hurt, and then strangely reassured. It made me feel safe and kind of mushy that my parents loved each other that much.