[Babetty]

I have a new DD, 3 weeks old. So far she has been exclusively BF, and we haven't had any issues. It's been pretty easy, she feeds well, was back to her birth weight within 10 days, etc.

However, the problem is I'm feeling pretty ambivalent about continuing. I resent how much it ties me to the baby, I wish I could just hand her and a bottle over to her father or one of her many other loving relatives (grandparents, uncles) who would be happy to help.

As a bit of background, I didn't have this issue with my other child. With DS (now 3) I BF exclusively till nearly 5 months, slowly introducing a bit of formula as I returned to work, and dropping the last BF at 10 months. Now this isn't long by some people's standards, but as I only planned to BF for 6 months, it was good going.

So I don't want to introduce formula - I know everything about how breast is best etc, and I do count myself very lucky that I can BF easily, I think I'm just looking for words of encouragement to keep going. And if anyone has felt the same, I'd love to hear your story.

I'm currently telling myself 'just stick it out for 6 weeks' - and hopefully that will turn into 3 months, into 6 months, etc.

Finally, apologies to all who struggle to BF and really want to. I know this problem will probably seem pretty selfish and trivial to some, but it is upsetting me. I can't really discuss it with DH because he will be TOO understanding and will support me in whatever I want to do - which doesn't really help me 'suck it up and get on with it' which is what I think I need to do!

[Old Grey Mare]

Just do what you feel most comfortable doing. A happy, contented mother is the best thing for any baby and whether they are breast or bottle fed will be meaningless to them in future.

[than4]

I'm a bit like your DH in that I want to encourage you to do whatever you want to do.

I was in a similar situation, but I had problems breastfeeding which I think encouraged me to move to bottles. However, I also resented being tied to the couch, feeling like I couldn't go anywhere and feeling ostracised whenever anyone else was over (or I was at someone else's house) and they didn't want to see me feeding.

I would encourage you to set yourself a BF goal and then reassess when you get there.

My initial goal was 1 month, after 1 month my goal was 3 months and then at 3 months I decided to move to EBM and formula. My goal now is to keep getting enough EBM for 2 feeds per day till 5 months.

Keep going, you can do it!

[Babetty]

I would encourage you to set yourself a BF goal and then reassess when you get there.

My initial goal was 1 month, after 1 month my goal was 3 months and then at 3 months I decided to move to EBM and formula. My goal now is to keep getting enough EBM for 2 feeds per day till 5 months.

Keep going, you can do it!

Thanks, I think this is what I need to hear. Should add I never managed to express with DS, so not really keen to try it this time round! For some reason it just doesn't work for me so EBM isn't really an option.

Also trying to remind myself of the downside of bottles (such as the constant washing and sterilizing) - and with all the bugs my DS brings home from childcare, DD probably needs all the immunity BF can give her!

[Aribika]

Congratulation on the birth of your DD. I'm sorry that you are struggling with these feeling op. Your baby is only very young and I think that your plan to just get to six weeks is a very good one. And I also think it is really smart to come and get some encouragement.

I must warn that I am very pro bf. I can very much understand the feeling of not being able to get any time to yourself but my thinking is that it's only for six months and if you can express well ( I couldn't ) maybe not even that long.

Plus as your daughter gets older she will probably go longer between feeds which gives you more scope for going out without her.

My advice for now would be to use those willing loving people that you have to do everything but bf for you sometimes. Feed and then hand her over to the ones you trust. Go do stuff that makes you feel less tied down. Be back in time for the next feed or take baby and someone with you if need be.

I think that bf is very important but I also think that your well-being is important and I hope you can find ways to enjoy your bf relationship with your DD. It is early days and i'm sure that everything will fall in line for you soon.

Good luck

Lorraine

[CharliMarley]

I agree with what Aribika has said. However, I think you need to know (if you don't already) that if you breastfeed your babies cumulatively, or one of them, for two years - you will be a lower risk of contracting breast cancer at a later date. Most of the oncologists ask the women they treat with breast cancer, if they breastfed their babies and for how long, so I think this is important to remember. You probably know that breastmilk has all the antibodies and lots of other nutritious components, which formula cannot replicate. Your baby girl will never be sick for long with any nasties that might come home from school with your older child. Breastfed babies smell wonderful and if the canny marketing people who work at formula factories, would only let out what is in the stuff - you would be amazed and not want to feed it to your baby. Breastfeeding enhances jaw and speech development and breastfed babies very seldom have tooth decay and they are not obese as children. It is also linked with a lower risk of SIDS. I could go on and on, but I won't now, but please think very carefully before you decide against breastfeeding. I wouldn't want to be bothered filling bottles and heating bottles at 2a.m and then have to sterilise them.

[CallMeProtart]

You're doing great OP, hang in there a little longer! In the scheme of things, they'll be on solids in no time - remember how time flies with littlies.

Do you express - would that help free you up?
Or maybe set a target a couple of months down the track, and at that point you can try spacing out the feeds more so that you can get a bit more space to yourself... ?

[ausmumof2]

Make sure you have some good reading material or something good to watch while you are feeding too! I love breast feeding because it gives me a good excuse to sit down and read or something for some me time, but if I am out of good books or the internet isn't working I find it a bit boring!

[solongsuckers]

I would get a good electric pump and keep a nice backup of milk in the freezer for the times where you would like a break. That way you get to continue breastfeeding but still have some time out when it is too much for you.

[CharliMarley]

If you do express your milk to give to your baby, it is a good idea not to introduce bottles at an early age, but give the milk in a small open cup or a large syringe from the chemist. That way, there will be no nipple confusion.