[Gonewiththewind:...]

It depends if it is a discipline approach you are happy with. You have reminded me of another thing I need to ask the family day care people when I visit some of them in the next few weeks! I know all the LDC centre's I have visited have had a "no time out" policy and I was told it isn't recommended as a discipline approach. They do a remove and distract (sometimes alone with a carer) and then returning to apologise or restart the play activity at this age.

[Sassy Girl]

I completely agree with Mareek.

He needs to be disciplined for what he is doing. Obviously the Family Day Carer can't smack him so what else can they do ?

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

I don't like time-out at all but I think it's ridiculous for a 20 mth old.

He needs to be disciplined for what he is doing. Obviously the Family Day Carer can't smack him so what else can they do ?

So that's it, smacking or time-out?

[Guest_EllieMayLee1_*]

I think it is ok. Distraction technique is more for minor misbehaviours such as taking a toy off another child etc. As he is biting and 'leaning' on others I think removing him from the other children is a legitimate response from the carer. He will soon get the message that biting and leaning are not ok. I think it would be better to nip it in the bud. Perhaps you could discourage him from leaning on the cat too? I would be perfectly happy if my child were being rough for a carer to move her to a step/chair/mat.

Maybe discuss with the carer why you think he is biting i.e. what preceeds the behaviour. For example, tiredness, separation anxiety, sharing issues?

[ForsakenTruth]

He just squashed the cat just now and tried the whole sitting him on the step and he didnt understand in the slightest what i was making him do, just wondering is it too early for a carer to be administering dicipline such as time out to a 20 month old?

He doesn't understand because you have always allowed it and now you have suddenly changed rules. Persevere and he will get it.
Your poor cat, just so by the way. It must be very tolerant.

This post has been edited by ForsakenTruth: 22/02/2012, 09:32 AM

[mummahh]

DS is 2.5 and still doesn't "get" time-out consistently. I would however use it if I really needed to remove him from the situation, more for everyone's safety and peace of mind, rather than just a disciplinary action. For example, when he is chasing the dog and won't stop I put him in his room. (and also usually put the dog outside so that when time-out is up, he doesn't start all over)

In the situation with your son, I would say its partly to teach him that leaning is not okay, but also partly just trying to restore some order to the situation. With a few young children there, one of the other ones might start acting up too if they don't like it, so by getting your son to sit down by himself for a minute, it stops the situation from getting worse. She should not however do it a way that makes him feel he is being punished, as that would be upsetting. Just a gentle, "okay, you sit here for a minute and then you can come back and play" should be enough.

[neaka]

Thanks so much for all the great responses. I definitely agree the behaviour needs to be dealt with and not ignored and perhaps this version of time out is ok. I just wasnt sure as ive never had anyone else look after him before. I must admit dicipline is something ive never had to think about till now. The squashing the cat thing is now becoming a problem because he does know he is not allowed to and he does it anyway whereas before when he was younger it was hard to dicipline him for loving the cat too much!

So much great advice, i really appreciate it.

He doesn't understand because you have always allowed it and now you have suddenly changed rules. Persevere and he will get it.

Absolutely. Today was the first time i had even attempted to do the sit away from the situation thing and he was like'huh?' what can i expect!

In the situation with your son, I would say its partly to teach him that leaning is not okay, but also partly just trying to restore some order to the situation. With a few young children there, one of the other ones might start acting up too if they don't like it, so by getting your son to sit down by himself for a minute, it stops the situation from getting worse. She should not however do it a way that makes him feel he is being punished, as that would be upsetting. Just a gentle, "okay, you sit here for a minute and then you can come back and play" should be enough.

and doesnt sound too harsh.

I guess ill have a conversation with her and let her know that i think the leaning comes from what he does to the cat at home and we will also try to nip it in the bud at home.
Im afraid he may be abit spoilt! He will get a shock when DS2 comes along in 4 months time!

Your poor cat, just so by the way. It must be very tolerant.

Yes and no! DS does cop afew scratches and bites here and there but it doesnt stop him from chasing him, squeezing him and squashing him! I actually think that might also be where he has got the biting thing from!!!!

Thanks again everyone. I think ill just let her do her thing and keep an eye on things for now. Its still such early days he is only afew days into daycare.

xx

[babatjie]

Yes and no! DS does cop afew scratches and bites here and there but it doesnt stop him from chasing him, squeezing him and squashing him! I actually think that might also be where he has got the biting thing

Why do you allow that occur? I would say that is very irresponsible. Your son needs to learn how to treat animals properly or he can be injured or injure an animal. Your pet also has a right to not be harrased. I have a 24 month old and 2 cavaliers. He does not hurt them or play rough but I still supervise them when together and correct any problem behaviours immediately, from both sides. I don't think a cat would be any different. Maybe see if you can post to get some help/tips in the pets section on how they can learn to get along better.

Good luck.

[librablonde]

My DS's had Time Out on a "Thinking Spot" from 18mths old and they understood what was happening and why. I just depends on the individual child. And it also involves consistency by the adult. Sometimes re-direction just isn't enough to change a child's behaviour. I think the OP's FDC'er is making a acceptable choice given the situation.

[spunkratsx3]

IMO no way. I wouldn't be happy at all with my 1 year old being given 'time out'. My kids would not have understood 'time out' at that age and I'd feel terrible knowing someone else was implementing that.