Posted by LittleP2013, 11/12/2012, 05:36 PM
My how time is flying!!
I can't believe it was 5 weeks ago that I wrote my first blog entry! Reading back on it I can see I was scared, anxious and not really dealing with the whole thing. 10 weeks down the track and I am feeling much better, I've found a lot more support, done a lot more reading and am feeling much more comfortable with the whole process of pregnancy.
We had our first ultrasound a few weeks ago and my partner and I were astonished to see & hear our little guy or gals heart beating at 160bpm! It's pretty incredible! We have our NT scan booked in next week and we both can't wait to see whats happening in there!
Most of you wont want to hear this but I have been incredibly lucky, I haven't had any morning sickness at all, it doesn't make sense to me because every woman on both sides of my family that has ever been pregnant has been as sick as a dog! I really psyched myself into it and it didn't happen so I am counting my lucky stars.
I had a bit of indigestion during week 6-7 but since then nothing to write home about. I am always hungry but nothing really appeals to me and I spend most of my time forcing myself to eat. The main symptoms I've had are extreme tiredness... honestly if I didnt have to go to work I'd sleep 16 hours a day. My boobs are huge & so extremely sore & sensitive - they were already pretty big pre-pregnancy but seriously please stop growing! The other problem I've had is headaches... about 3pm everyday until I go to sleep. I think this is probably the heaviness of my boobs hurting my neck and causing headaches but I'm waiting just a little longer before I buy new bras before I test this theory out
As for the rest, it's almost time for us to make the big announcement to our worlds, the nearest and dearest - parents on each side and our best buddies all know but to everyone else its going to be a surprise. I'm really excited!
Anyway, I'll blog again after my NT scan, if there are any newly pregnant women out there who need advice or want to chat, please feel free to message me or comment, it was a really big adjustment for me during the first 7-8 weeks and if there are people out there that need support, I'd love to help.
Until next time
Posted by LittleP2013, 07/11/2012, 02:08 PM
Goodness gracious me, if someone had told me that 2012 was going to shape up like this I probably should have believed them so I could have been better prepared.
In June I turned 30,
In September, I got engaged to my soul mate!
In November... I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant.... OMG.
Now I'd like to start out by saying that I was born to have kids, I come from a big family, my parents are still together and I love having three younger sisters. So naturally, I always assumed that when I got to a certain age I would have kids.
My Fiance and I have talked about it a lot, we kinda made the deal that once we turned 30, if we got pregnant then that's it, we are having a baby! So about 6 months before my 30th, I had my IUD removed & we just went with the flow. When we got engaged in September, we sort of mutually decided that organising a wedding would be enough to do for a year, and that for our families sake, we may as well get married and then have babies. So out came the condoms again.... Obviously, they didn't work to well for us.
I didn't have a light bulb moment when I was like 'oh hang on my period is late' and then rush to check my calender to find out it really was late, I just slowly but surely realised just how sore my boobs were, how bloated I felt, and how emotional I was over nothing. It was then when I realised my period was in fact 7 days late, I knew before I peed on the stick that I was pregnant.
The first 24 hours of knowing sent us both into shock, we barely said anything, we weren't happy, sad, emotional.... we were just kind of numb. We went to the doctor on Monday, blood tests and ultrasound was yesterday and yay the little P is growing in the right place and everything seems to be fine.
I think I just kinda of feel disappointed. It's surreal at the moment. I always thought that when this day came I would be over the moon. That financially I'd be a little more in control, that my body would be healthier than it is now - I only just started a get fit for the wedding routine, I hadn't even quit smoking yet.
Instead I have so many questions.. what does this mean for the wedding? Will I be able to afford to take extended maternity leave? We are only a year into paying off our mortgage, not to mention whatever other debts we both have, I haven't been overseas & we had planned to for our honeymoon. How are we going to afford a child?
This changes everything. I don't mean to whinge, or sound selfish because I'm not at all, I've spent my life putting everyone else first before myself. I know that there are millions of women out there who would do anything to be in my shoes. I feel ungrateful and anxious about everything.... I also feel bloated and fat.. and I am dreading morning sickness which I am sure is not too far away.
I want to be over the moon, I want to celebrate, but I would have liked a little more time to have had a few wines, to have quit smoking, to be fitter & healthier, to have eaten some soft cheese and seafood.
I guess what I am trying to ascertain is is how I am feeling normal? Does anyone out there feel the same way? I've been trying to talk to my man as much as possible, but we are both fixers and as cool calm & collected as we are both being about this, I know we both need more support and I know personally that men cant sit and analyze the way that women do. I desperately want to talk to my mum but I know it's too early to tell anyone in case it doesn't work out.
I feel alone and a bit lost...
Would love to hear your thoughts....