So this is 2ww number 11 for me. I am purely venting and writing for personal therapeutic effects however you are more than welcome to read on.
So number 11. Number 12 is next and then 13 after that... and then I think what number will I get to? Not knowing is the hard bit.
So currently I am 2dpo. It is the early stage of the 2ww I like the most. I am still full of hope and excitement thinking that this is the month for us. I feel full of energy and the dreaded PMS symptoms are still several days away.
Then the days go on. Every little twinge or pain gets my full attention. Can it be? Am I imagining symptoms? Or is this just a normal symptom of PMS? The breast tenderness and breast pain, did I mention the pain? The bloating, the fatigue, the nausea and indigestion, the cramping. People would suspect I am on my way to a BFP but I know too well that this is just the normal swing of hormones leading me up to that dreaded day... cd1. Then we do it all again.
POAS addict? Umm yeh. That is the worst part of the 2ww. You make promises to yourself every month saying I won’t POAS until this day, or I might check on this day so I can have a glass of wine or something delicious and exotic on the weekend. You over analyse every symptom and think I must be so I may as well check.
Every time I know it won’t come up positive. Then I think it might be still too early to tell. I will test again in a couple of days, which you know you really mean tomorrow.
It is a vicious cycle, one that I am becoming too familiar with for my liking.
When will it end? How many more of my friends, family members and work colleagues will get pregnant before me? There are not that many of them left so surely it is my time now.
It doesn’t seem fair sometimes. I think that there are people much worse off in all aspects of their lives. Still doesn’t make it easier.
So what will this month bring? I am excited but also not expecting much at the moment. Only time will tell.
Good luck to everyone currently in their 2WW hopefully it passes quickly!!