Hi Rhianna,
I was in exactly your position roughly 3 months ago... Actually, I am still in the same position as you are! HA! My son, Adam, is now 5 months of age. He STILL does not sleep very well. I have just started him on solids in a bid to help him sleep better (but that's only because of a low milk supply). He also sleeps a lot better when rocked. Since birth, he has slept in a cot, 2 cradles, a carrier, bouncer, pram, on top of a glider chair (while properly strapped of course) and last but not least, in bed with me. And I wake up EVERY morning with a broken back & hips. NOTHING seems to be working. Advice from Midwives seems to be a one way street and sometimes don't apply to me, as hard as I tried to follow it. But that doesn't mean it won't work for you. Maybe book an appointment with a midwife at your local childhood clinic?
The advice that was given to me, which i found did work, was to move into a bedroom with my son and make it a permanent place to sleep. So my husband and 7 year old son now sleep in my Queen bed, and i sleep in my eldest sons room with Adam. The room is always dimmed and it has helped him to establish that once we are here, it is now time to sleep.
I also do encourage "hands on" settling, so you are doing the right thing by rocking him. He will sleep a lot better knowing he is safe in your arms.
I also advise you to have him checked up for reflux or any underling health issues that may be causing any discomfort. If he is not sleeping well and has been whingeing and crying for a while in bed with no success, then you pick him up and he 'burps' or throws up a little milk, it may be worth burping him really well before bed and you could also try slightly elevating his mattress to avoid reflux. There are products you can purchase that are placed under the mattress for that.
My eldest son was the exact opposite, slept really well but gave me hell with food.
Adam falls asleep but then keeps waking up regularly and can't seem to get into that deep sleep cycle easily. I also Breastfeed AND formula feed him. Feeding him is sooo time consuming. But i find that he sleeps a bit better too when he is really well fed and had a good meal with breaks not too far apart. Just be aware that feeding spaced apart could be more like snacking rather than a whole meal and could be less satisfying. Therefore, less sleep.
Another piece of advice is give him first half of his feed or until he wants to burp, burp him, change, wash your hands, then offer him the rest straight away until he has had enough. I offer his food almost always after a burp just to make sure he is completely satisfied.
Another thing you can do is check your baby's teats, make sure the flow is not too fast for him, and he is not drinking it too quickly as that may cause him to swallow air with his meal. It should take him roughly 15-20 minutes to finish his bottle.
Also find a good time to give him a warm bath, that could also relax him. Midwives suggest giving bath in the afternoon til around 5 pm. Or whatever suits you and baby.
Make sure there are no distractions around during settling, to avoid over-stimulation, be a bit boring for around 20 minutes prior to putting him to sleep. Dim the lights, keeping noises to a minimum. What works for me is to rock and sing to him in my arms til he is asleep. Perhaps try bringing a pram into the house and rocking him gently in that may help. If you decide to try a pram, place an object on the floor to make a small ridge (or bump) that you can push the pram over back and forth, like the edge of a carpet, that rhythmic beat can also help the settling process.
In all honesty, you need to try different things to see what helps your baby settle. Some babies won't automatically just sleep once put in bed. Some wake up and need to be re-settled maybe 2 or 3 more times after falling asleep, Mine takes more. But in the end I have come to the conclusion that you can plan as much as you want to and do all the right things, but in one week, it is quite normal to have 2-3 days that baby won't settle well and may take hours to settle, and there has to be one day a week that is a complete write-off. This is just a reminder for me that my baby needs constant hands on work. As you can see, it is 3:10am, i am still up typing this letter and little bub is nursing in my arms right now.
You can read through the Pregnancy, Birth & Baby website on settling, your local midwife can provide information or have a look in your baby's blue book or hospital information you received. Maybe worth having another read over them to refresh your memory.
In regards to visitors and going out, it is all probably over-stimulating him. So like i suggested before, complete boringness before bed-time. He may protest once you try and rock him, but be persistent. Don't forget, the longer he stays awake, the more tired he'll become, and he'll be a LOT harder to settle. It will take you double to effort. After about 20 minutes of settling, if he is not yet asleep, do WHATEVER you can to put him to sleep. At his age, He should be waking up for about 1.5-2 hours max, this includes around 1/2 hour of play time. Then sleep til his next feed. Don't be tempted to play with him after 2 hours, he is surely tired by now, even is he smiles at you (i know its hard). Adam is always ready to play and believe me, often i give into his cues. By 5 months, he will be grabbing your face, pulling your hair, make all sorts of spitting noises, eating his hands and getting up to all sorts of cuteness. I am a total sucker, its too cute to handle! He knows just how to play me lol
Good Luck and Hope that helps and things improve with you guys in the coming weeks, Oh and i totally remembered, the first 6 weeks after birth are the most "all over the place" weeks. This is just a process of learning and getting to know each other. Don't forget that everything is new to him, and he is learning all these things for the first time. Don't worry too much, things should ease up soon.
All the Best!!

This post has been edited by FriendOfaFriend: 04/08/2012, 03:46 AM

Hi Rhianna,

Congrats on your new little baby so exciting

We have a 5 month old little boy and were so overwhelmed by what we should do and shouldn't do when it came to sleeping, we read "Save our Sleep' which is a great book and gave us a guideline but after reading so much as a new mum you take to much in and it really gets you down.

What we did and still do is give him his bottle whilst still in his wrap (as he hated swaddles and woombies) half way through the feed we would unwrap him and change him then wrap him back up, give him the rest of his bottle and put him back down once his eyes started getting heavy, the one thing we did from day one no matter how hard it was to begin with was making sure we put him to bed not asleep because they need to learn to self settle, (I know there are alot of people out there who disagree with this approach) but he never screamed the house down sometimes he got a little upset but after 10minutes maximum of on and off crying he was asleep. His night sleeps got better the earlier we were giving him the final bottle, we tried the "dream feed" but with our litle boy the later we fed him the earlier he woke, so we have found given him a bottle at 8.30pm then putting him down for the night has been the best one yet because he can sleep through anywhere until 5.30-8am

Its really a matter of being strong within yourself and having that support at home reassuring you bub is ok, youve fed him changed him burped him he just needs to get used to being out of that cosy little home he has been in for 9 months.

We also invested in a scout teddy AMAZING, I dont know if you have seen them but they sing 10 minutes of lullabyes to bub and the tiny scuot ( $10) from kmart has a little yellow moon which glows and slowly dims out as the lullaby comes to an end, our little man stares at it and falls to sleep

I really hope something I have said has helped you even a fraction I know it is so overwhelming and upsetting sometimes you feel so alone but it will all work out and your little bub will be sleeping through before you know its just trial and error please let us know what you try and what you find works for you

Hi Rhianna

Congrats on the birth of bubby. I to had problems with settling my babies. First question are you formula feeding? If you are is bubby getting what he needs out of the milk? I am all for hands on parenting but in saying that your baby also needs to learn independence ie laying on the floor playing by himself. It's ok to pick him up n reassure him but when he calms down lay him back down. My youngest who is 5.5 mths loves laying down in front of the tv looking at all the bright colors. All of them have been shocking sleepers through the day but will sleep all night. It will take a couple of weeks but change his routine to suit you don't let him run your life. They all need a routine there not born with one you got to make one. As for the feeding he will make up his mind on how long between feeds are, my baby still has a bottle every 2 maybe 3 hrs and he's nearly 6mths old. Good luck