Jump to content





Photo
- - - - -

One week later...

Posted by White-Lily , 29 September 2011 · 71 views

It has been a week since we lost the baby. A whole week. It has gone so fast, like a blur.
Things keep happening around me and I don’t even really notice them. I’m just going through the motions at the moment, not really paying attention to most things.

I’m back at work. Not that I’m working much while here but I’m putting on a show and getting through the important things slowly. I’m staring at my computer with no purpose a lot. But at least I’m trying and making an effort. I can’t (and wont) sit at home all day feeling sorry for myself.

My bruising in my arms is still sore. The cold weather doesn’t help at all, it just constricts my veins and makes them ache. The bruising is huge and it’s inside my veins, well it sure feels like it is. I have a lovely bruise on the back of my left hand where the anesthetic went in and then I have the biggest, nastiest bruise I have ever had where they put the canula. This bruise hurts the most. It is only just starting to go yellow now (6 days post op).It has been a lovely bright blue, almost fluro in colour. I also have some bruising on my right arm where they took blood last Thursday. This is almost gone now.

My boobs had shrunk back to pre-pregnancy size by Friday morning, before I had even had the surgery. DH said he had noticed my belly had also shrunk by Friday morning. It is pretty much back to being flat now, it is what it was again. There is nothing in there at all.
It is amazing how quickly my body has snapped back. I just wish the bruises would go away and the bleeding would stop. I’m sick of being reminded every time I move my arms or go to the toilet. It doesn’t feel like the bleeding is going to stop anytime soon. The last day or so I have been getting mild cramps, nothing too serious just enough to notice. I just want it to be over with.

DH is doing ok, well he seems to be. He has moments where I can see him hurting but he doesn’t open up a great deal. He just goes into his head and looks sad. It is heart breaking to see him like this.

I’m still really emotional. Very up and down. People I hadn’t even told are telling me how sorry they are. That is hitting me around a bit. I don’t know who knows what and I don’t know who thinks it’s ok to spread my sad news. It’s not ok. It is no one else’s business. But people care and are concerned. DH says I have been with my company for too long, working with the same people for too long, for them to not ask and to not care. I suppose it’s not a huge leap to work out where I was and what happened, given that we already have a child and were/are planning more.

Speaking of work, apparently I have been here for 5 years today. I completely forgot given the recent events. I will get my name put on the plaque but that’s all the celebration I want right now. Maybe next week I will sort out a morning tea.
I don’t really have any love for my job at the moment. I’m just doing what needs to be done. I was really looking forward to having maternity leave and a break from work again but now that I’m not getting this (even though it was still months away)I just can’t be bothered with the whole thing. I was over work before we fell pregnant and now it is just worse. I thought about looking for something else but there isn’t much point. I have a good thing here – close to home, flexible, good hours, etc – so I need to make it work for me again. I would feel awful starting a new job only to try and have a baby straight away. Once we are ready there is no waiting for timing to be better, etc.

The house is almost ready. It should only be a few more weeks. We think another 2 weeks of actual work (finish tiling, electrical, plumbing, painting and paving), then two weeks for the builder to fix up anything we aren’t happy with and then get keys and then two weeks for painting and floors to go in. So *hopefully* six weeks until we can move in. At worst case we think it will be six weeks until we get keys and then another two for painting etc. We are certain to be in before Christmas. Ideally we will have keys late October.

I can’t wait for the house to be done. At the moment we are just waiting. I just need something I can focus on and put my energy into. Painting, unpacking, cleaning, gardening… anything.






I'm so very sorry to hear your news. There is no words of advice which will take the pain away - just don't do what I did and bottle it up. Each person goes through a different experience and that is Ok. I'm thinking of you at this time - hang in there.
  • Report

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Search My Blog

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly caf goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.