Posted by anytimecheerful, 06/12/2012, 03:19 PM
I had gone through a must do operation about 2 weeks ago. Lucky my parents were around to look after my 2 year old. Before I head off to the operation, I was still breastfeeding my 2 year old 5 times a day. Breastfeeding had to be put to a total halt because of the anesthetic. I thought my supply would dry up completely by the time I got home. To my surprise, it wasn't significantly reduced and not dried up completely. However, I was not allowed to breastfeed my DD anymore because my parents keep telling me continued breastfeeding would be bad for my DD. I should have read a bit more about this topic before I submit to parental pressure. Unfortunately I wasn't able to do so.
After stopping breastfeeding my DD, I had very severe emotional turbulence. Every time after I sent my DD away when she requested for a feed, I feel so sad and painful and tears keep coming down non-stop. Though everyone around is telling me how good it is that my DD no longer need breastfeed, I still feel very sad and painful. I guess it's the hormonal change to blame? I should have take a more gradual approach so it's less traumatic for me????
I really should have read more before making a decision. I should have listen to my heart desire to breastfeed my DD as long as she wants it. Now is all too late because there isn't much for her anymore. I feel sad for not able to fulfill her demand, as well as letting go of a special relationship. Now I am trying hard to teach myself that there are a lot of other things I can do with my DD other than breastfeeding. It's especially hard when I feel shattered within.
With or without breastfeeding, she's forever my most precious DD. End of breastfeeding is totally different from breaking up with DD. Just that fact is one thing but how I feel is another thing. I am allowing her to latch on three times a day and will reduce it gradually, and hopefully I can get over it in 3 weeks time.