Well that backfired!

Last entry I said I was contemplating getting a HPT solely to bring on AF. Well I did it, and bugger me dead, but a very faint second line appeared. LB said he couldn’t see it, but I was thinking the TTC years had finally sent me loopy. I know there is something there. That night I got bugger all sleep, tossing and turning – woke up with a lot of cramping, convinced AF had arrived. Nothing!
Thankfully (or was it) I bought a 2 pack HPT, and bugger me dead, another faint line appeared! WTF? How can this be, I wasn’t expecting this, I wasn’t prepared for this, I was preparing for IUI – not a faint line on a HPT. The HPT had to dodgy?

Dear god, it threw me for a 6 – I honestly had no idea how to react – this was unknown territory for me. I can’t explain the emotions that was going through me!

Went to work, TRIED to occupy myself! Yeah right! So after some discussions (and a post on EB) on the way home from work I bought another brand of HPT (a 3 pack this time) and wasn’t going to test until Sunday! Another, yeah right!

As soon as I got home, told LB about the 2nd HPT from that morning (he didn’t know) and burst into tears saying that I really really want this to be positive. He said it was all going to be ok and we’ll get there eventually!

Off I went and POAS AGAIN. But this time it was negative. So it looked like I was one of the unlucky few who had a dodgy pack of HPT’s. So I just had to sit back and wait for AF, if it didn’t arrive by Sunday I’d do another one. Saturday morning I woke to AF.

I called the clinic (to let them know so we could start the IUI journey) and mentioned it to the nurse. She said that if I wanted to, I could go in and have a BT to see where my levels were at. I opted not to!

I know a lot of people will question why I opted out of the BT, but in all honesty, I don’t want to know. If it comes back that there was a ‘hint’ of a pg – I would be gutted.

So it will go down in my history of TTC as ‘unknown’!

PS – and of course, LB couldn’t see the line because he bloody wasn’t squinting right!