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38YO - 21 year gap between pregnancies

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#1 Funkibubl

Posted 11 July 2012 - 10:56 AM

I have been slightly hesitant in joining a group of any kind -  online or otherwise! Basically I am finding it very hard to be happy  happy joy joy about my pregnancy. I am 38 years old and my only other  child turned 21 earlier this year, so it was a very unexpected piece of  news! Like most unexpected pregnancies this one has not happened at the  most convenient of times, but I have come to accept my pregnancy and  will try to just take each day as it arrives.
It also has not been  the easiest of pregnancies - with severe morning sickness for 3 months,  and now pelvic problems which mean I am having to massively cut my hours  down, in my main job (I am an Emergency Nurse).
Currently I am on 2 days bed rest to try and reduce my pelvic inflammatory pain, without ending up totally off my feet!
So I have decided to join up because - advice - support - words of encouragement may be required at some time.
P.S I have cross posted which is badish etiquette, but I found this forum after biggrin.gif

Regards Funkibubl

#2 Miss S

Posted 11 July 2012 - 12:53 PM

Welcome to the forum Funkibubl waves.gif

Im 38 and I know how you feel as I have a 17 yr gap between 1 & 2 and #3 is due 3 weeks after DS's 20 th b'day

#3 chloe69

Posted 11 July 2012 - 12:59 PM

Hello Funkibubl

You sound like you are doing it tough...it must have been a shock!
How does your 21 y.o. and your partner feel about the pregnancy?


#4 Funkibubl

Posted 11 July 2012 - 05:23 PM

Hey Chloe
Yeah it was a shock, at first I was adamant and very strong and self assured and my man was adamant he did not want the baby! I think I vomited the self assuredness up at some stage during morning sickness!
Now he is very good really, he says he is glad I am pregnant and is looking forward to us having the baby.
He has 2 daughters a 20yo and a 5yo, he spent 7yrs doing IVF with his ex wife to conceive the 5yo, who is mega excited to be having a baby sister.
My daughter has been fantastic, she and her boyfriend both live with us.......however she announced recently that she is also pregnant which brings with it a whole new host of issues. At the moment I cannot quite bring myself to talk to my daughter about her pregnancy, she will be due in February.
Most days I just wish life would stop chucking curved balls!!!


QUOTE (chloe69 @ 11/07/2012, 12:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello Funkibubl

You sound like you are doing it tough...it must have been a shock!
How does your 21 y.o. and your partner feel about the pregnancy?


#5 karmacrazykitty

Posted 11 July 2012 - 08:16 PM

Hi Funkibubl,

I am 38 like you and have a 15 year age gap between my DD and DS and now have another little bundle on the way. My DS will only be 11 months old when this one is born. Be going from a big age gap to a very small one between children. Life keeps throwing me curve balls too. Was in shock when pregnant with DS and found it hard to be happy as had no partner at the time around to support me - but my DS has been the biggest blessing in my life xx am sure that your little one will be too   smile1.gif


#6 naturalgoodness

Posted 11 July 2012 - 08:29 PM

Hi Funkibubl - whilst my gap is not as large, my eldest who is now 19 was 15 when my youngest was born, we are currently trying for #5 and my eldest is likely to be 20 if/when he/she comes along! I will be 39 at that time. I have given a fleeting thought to my eldest son and his likely reaction (in the past he has proclaimed to be grossed out by the fact that DH and I still BD and that his friends will know that we do too!). I am guessing he would probably be the same next time.
My eldest daughter would be 17 and will be over the moon if it comes to pass and the youngest 2 will be 8 and 5.
Life doesn't usually throw more at you than you can handle! Its exiciting and scary at the same time! I hope your ride gets less bumpy  biggrin.gif

#7 fionah

Posted 11 July 2012 - 08:41 PM

Hi Funkibubl.

My age gap isn't at all large, but I had a MIL & SIL pair in my Mums group. Their babies were born only weeks apart.
Even though the MIL had had a baby over 20 years earlier,  she wanted to attend the Mums group as she had forgotten what it was like to have a baby.

Good luck,


#8 Sancti-mummy

Posted 11 July 2012 - 08:41 PM

Welcome and congratulations!!  A former work colleague of mine had a similar situation - her grandchildren are up to 5 years older than her new baby.

Good luck on reclaiming better health through the rest of your pregnancy.

#9 jadeenna

Posted 14 September 2012 - 04:54 PM

Hello, I had my first at 19 and my second at 37. I found the whole thing completely different, had a much more difficult pregnancy and worried a lot more. Once my little boy was born though (aside from being much more tired all the time), I couldn't be happier! Good luck! original.gif

#10 Mum_of_five

Posted 15 September 2012 - 09:44 PM

I had number 4 at 38 and the first thing i did was think i was to old for any more... My GP reassured me that at 38 alot are having their 1st and i sailed through after the morning sickness was over... Well suprise, suprise at 42 i am nearlly 27 weeks pregnant with number 5, uterly and completely unplanned... The first thing i did when the test was positive was cry, that i am to old to be having another baby...

But it is suprising how many over 40 are having babies and it is because most are not starting now til their late 30s, so i am not as alone as i thought i would be... My eldest is nearlly 14 and so far apart from vericous veins in one leg i havent had to much discomfort... A belly support helps with keeping the weight off the pelvis and lower back, and pregnancy stockings help with varicous veins... I know of a mum online who is 40 and having number 2 and has one son who is 23 a dad himself but is so happy for his mum original.gif

#11 Maddy41

Posted 25 November 2012 - 02:32 AM

Although I am hoping to conceive and 'birth' my first child now (at 41), I have a 21yo that is adopted.  Talk about age difference  biggrin.gif

#12 Sancti-mummy

Posted 25 November 2012 - 06:51 AM

Best of luck, Maddy 41

#13 lotsofbots

Posted 26 November 2012 - 07:54 AM

the youngest of my older 4 21 and my 'babies' are 6, I have a grandchild older than my twins, and 4 yonger.  

It is not as bad in reality as it is in all the over thinking I did before hand.

#14 Walkers

Posted 26 November 2012 - 08:14 AM

My eldest is almost 20 years and youngest 18months. They adore each other  wub.gif
I had a great pregnancy at age 39, I hope you can relax and enjoy yours original.gif
Good luck

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