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IVF Multiple Cycles and the Long Haul BG #14

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#51 librablonde

Posted 21 July 2012 - 08:16 AM

Oh Spock, the "what if's" are a killer for your sanity. Maybe the progesterone was the issue, maybe not, and you couldn't have done anything differently really. It's all just bullsh*t luck, I believe. It's just all so hard, I don't know how you are able to keep going. You're so brave. I just wish there was something I could do to help you, the universe is just so unfair sometimes. I'm so glad you popped back in to update us as you've been in my thoughts so often over the last 2 days. Lots of love and hugs to you xoxoxo

#52 mitchp

Posted 24 July 2012 - 09:01 AM

Oh Spock, my heart goes out to you. Stop beating yourself up, as Libra said, there are too many "what ifs" and honestly, I think it's plain bad luck for our little group sad.gif

AFU - can't catch a break either - Dr rang on Sunday to advise DP her last two embies didn't survive the thaw out process. So back to the drawing board for her 5th EPU next month - honestly, I think we're just the cash cow for the operation down here!

Good luck all, and Spock, please be kind to yourself.

Much love to all xxx

#53 spring08

Posted 24 July 2012 - 04:39 PM

Mitchp, so sorry for you and your DP - that is horrible news.
Spock, hope you and your DH are doing ok

sending you both cyber hugs and support - you're both such strong women, and this completely sucks

#54 Spock

Posted 29 July 2012 - 05:41 PM

Mitchp, just catching up on your news. I'm so sorry. Hope you and your dp are doing okay all things considered. You must be devastated.
libra, thank you for your kind words. I don't understand this world where bad things happen to good people. It all seems so random.
Hi everyone else.
Well I'm trying to use the fallout in a constructive way. Whether or not it was the progesterone I guess I can torture myself or let it to. Next time will just stick to the injections seeing these worked for me. So our next step is to see drm and discuss neupogen. Af has come and gone so physically I'm back to normal at least. Started back at Pilates last week. Not that long really till next FET in late October.
Think the only thing that keeps me going is dh and I just can't see a future without children however we get them. Surrogacy in nsw is just so dam hard and long as is adoption. I would like to at least carry my baby seeing I can't use my eggs. anyway, bit of a pity party at the moment at our place. So glad we have Sooty and our house renovations to distract us.

#55 EloiseIVF

Posted 01 August 2012 - 01:46 PM

Hi long haulers,

I'm just popping in from the over 40s buddy group. I'm not a long hauler - though I'm feeling a bit like it today following my fourth failed stim cycle for 2012 - but I just needed some advice and from  ph34r.gif your group it seems that the greatest collective of IVF knowledge and wisdom in the free world resides in this group!

Yesterday I had my fourth EPU so far this year. The first three failed as you can see from my signature. I am normally a low responder and this time I had only 2 follicles. Unfortunately I awoke to find I had lost both eggs because I had ovulated early. My antagonist was orgalutran. I asked my FS what the strategy is for preventing that in future cycles and he said we can scan more to make sure I haven't ovulated, but there is no strategy to prevent it per se.

I was wondering of anyone here has heard of that happening, or has had it happen to them? Does anyone know if there are things I can do to lessen the chances of it happening again? I would really value your thoughts and advice.

Ellie x

#56 librablonde

Posted 02 August 2012 - 09:36 AM

Hi ladies,
wow, we're quiet in here.
Mitchp- I was so sorry to hear your news, what a kick in the guts. How's your DP handling the thought of a 5th EPU? Is she going to be doing the same protocol? I agree with you over the money thing.... IVF is just such a financial drain. Last yeat my DP and I used to joke that her IVF DS was a Fiji baby (ie: cost the same as a trip to Fiji) and my IVF bubba was a European tour. And now my future tries will be a World Trip Ticket with a lengthy stopover in Japan......
Spock-how are you going? If only adoption and surrogacy were easier in this country, imagine how much less pressure there would be for long haulers? I'm glad you have a plan for October and that you have Sooty and the reno's to keep you focussed.
A big hi to Liltuss (due any day now!), Zoe, Spring08 and Countrymel.

AFM- well, my depression has improved of late. I've been seeing a counsellor and starting listening to some self-hypnosis CD's about grief, loss and PTSD (by Rick Collingwood). They've been remarkably helpful, and I just listen to them most days and it really does seem to improve my mood and thought patterns. I went and saw Dr Fancyshirt and had been initially terrified that I would have a break-down again if I saw him, but I breathed my way through the appointment and now we're gearing up for a FET in October and then straight into a EPU in November if the FET doesn't take. I'm going to start on some Optimism and Self-Esteem hypnosis CD's very soon to continue my upward journey out of my rut original.gif Onwards and upwards!!


#57 librablonde

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:16 AM

Hi Ellie,

I'm so sorry that you've had that happen.

something similar happened to me. On my last EPU (Gonal-F antagonist with Orgalutran trigger), I accidentally did the trigger shot about an hour early. I knew I had 4 good-sized follicles so hoped for 4 eggs. I freaked out and called the clinic the next day. They said they'd bump me to the first in the queue for EPU's that morning (which started at 7am) to make sure we didn't miss the egg. Well, at about 6am on the morning of the EPU I had a big break-through bleed which I had never had before when ovulating. I knew there was nothing that I could do as the operations didn't start any earlier. When I woke up from the EPU the FS said he got 3 eggs as the 4th had already started it's decent down my fallopian tube so couldn't be retrieved. I was gutted as I knew it was b/c we'd triggered at the wrong time. But I guess I'm more philosophical about it now as with the remaining 3 eggs, all 3 fertilised, 2 became BFP's and I currently have one on ice. So I guess the old saying of "you only need one" is really right.

In saying all of that, I know it  thoroughly sucks and I don't know of any way to fix early ovulation other than continuous scans and BT's around that time. In your situation, I would ask for daily BT's around ovulation time and more scans.  I hope your next stim cycle is better for you xoxox

#58 halby

Posted 05 August 2012 - 03:52 PM

Hi strangers, well a lot has been happening here.

Spock I am so sorry, you do amaze me though with your strength and endurance, and I too believe that if you can see a child in your future, then it will be. You know the amount it took for me to conceive and I can honestly say that without DD I would never have given up.

Zoe Congrats to you. See it is amazing what some different opinions and advice can do. And really appreciated the link to the steam bath, never heard of it before.

Eloise welcome and I am sorry for your ongoing rollercoaster. My only concern with an antogonist for you is that you seem to miss the ovulation. Have they considered a long down reg cycle. I know I ovulate quite early naturally, so when the first scan came about on my one and only antag cycle, my leading folli was already at 14mm. Either way whatever cycle you are given atleast 2 days earlier for ultrasound and bloods would be my request, and when getting close, then daily bloods. Hang in there honey.

Libra, how are you going? I am glad that the depression is on the improve, but dont be too hard on yourself. With all that you have been through it is certainly understandable. I hope you are trying to just get out and take walks and things as well, I know it helps me to just switch off from the world and let yourself have some inner healing. I think the cds will be great for you.

Hello to everyone else as I know I have missed a few of you again.

AFM. Well, after much tears and even raised voices and words about what we want we are going to try again. My DH really wants another but hates the whole ivf process. God hello, my argument on that is "All u have to do is spank into a cup" Ok I know a bit harsh but I go through everything else and dont complain. I never have. He has emphasised one more stim only though and whatever we yield from that. I am kinda trying to ignore that statement, as I find it puts pressure on me, but hey atleast another shot at present. We have also booked a fab holiday in Bali for 12 nigts on the 26th of September, so we are going to do the stim cycle before then. I'm feeling scared to be honest that I am opening up this anxiety door of what ifs, and ready all of your posts reminded me of what I dont miss, the unknowns, waiting, and what ifs. Im already having a moment of what to do as I have had the horrible flu that put me on my ass for 3 days straight and has left me on antibiotics for a horrible chest infection again, so this makes me wonder how this is effecting my egg health leading up to a cycle. God the doubts is just never ending. I have my appointment with FS tomorrow, and have decided to do a long down reg, as that is the only type of cycle I have had BFP's, and DD from. I am not going to take any dex or clexane on this occasion, and maybe just give my body a chance to do it on its own. My theory is I am so excited at our holiday and will be busy but happy leading up that I will be relaxed enough to maybe get a first ever bfp from a stim cycle. "I can, I am, I will succeed"

#59 dreamstoreality

Posted 07 August 2012 - 10:00 PM

Hi everyone, it has been an extremely long time since I have written in this forum, and I hope I am still welcome.

My heartfelt congratulations to all that have received BFPs and my sincerest condolences to those that have not been so lucky, I feel your heartache.

I have sporadically popped in here to catch up and I must say the resilence you ladies show is beyond inspriring, I do not know how you all do it and find this amazing inner strength to keep going - thank you as you've managed to give me a strength I didn't know we had to go again.

So, we are gearing up again at the end of September.  Unfortunately all the weight I did lose I've managed to put back on but I'm just going to try and look after myself and not be to hard on myself and enjoy life and all that we have.  Before our next cycle I am also going in for a hysteroscopy and a D&C, plus I'll be taken asprin (sml dosage) during this cycle which I've never done before with 450 of Gonal F too.

Thanks everyone.

#60 librablonde

Posted 08 August 2012 - 08:02 AM

Welcome back DTR and Halby original.gif It's great to hear from you both again. And congrat's on making the decision to take the plunge again, I know how big an emotional commitment it is. It's going to be a big year for all of the Long Haulers original.gif

#61 halby

Posted 09 August 2012 - 12:15 PM

Dreamstoreality welcome back to you. Thanks Libra for the welcome, yep it certainly is a bit tough making that decision but I am excited.
Just a quick one to let you ladies know that I am picking up drugs on Friday to do my stim. Also to mention that my appointment with FS went well, and if you remember one of my comments when we were going to finish up that if I had my time over I would not waste embryos on a fresh cycle as I dont ever do any good. Well I hadn't said anything to FS, yet he actually raised the thought to do a freeze all cycle. I know it is the right thing, I was just a little bummed as wanted to go on holiday with a bfp, but I have waited this long I can wait a bit longer. He said that there has been a lot said even 3-4 years ago that the drugs can adversely effect the endometrium quality for implantation, he said all my fert is good, plenty of eggs, just implantation, it is just hard for a fs to look at a beautiful embryo on a fresh cycle and consider freezing it rather than transfering it. This is also due to thawing success rates not being 100%. Anyway so that is what will be happening for us. I am starting to like the idea, as I will come home from a wonderful holiday all relaxed and straight into the fet. So finger toes and anything goes are crossed.
Have a great day and I will pop in later

#62 halby

Posted 10 August 2012 - 02:19 PM

Hi ladies,
Well picked up the drugs so all ready to go! Came home feeling really excited to get going. Feel really good and pumped about it. Maybe I need to find some new interests......Have a great weekend and hope everyone is doing well.

#63 Spock

Posted 18 August 2012 - 10:33 PM

Welcome back halby and I applaud you for continuing to chase your dreams of a child. I hope the jabbing is going well.
Hi Libra, Mitchp and anyone else popping by. Hope all is good with you.

Not much to report from me. Had an appointment with a New York well known reproductive immunologist which has given me some hope, for the first time in a while. Will see what happens. October isn't too far away.

#64 librablonde

Posted 19 August 2012 - 07:14 AM

Hi ladies,
good to hear you have some hope from that specialist, Spock original.gif I know we've all been quiet in here lately, this IVF ride goes in flows and ebbs, hey? I'm kinda in denial right now about needing to diet, get ready for my next FET in October, and just generally choosing to ignore what I need to do to get ready. Haven't even started  taking my DHEA and vitamins yet! Jeez, I just can't be bothered but I know I need to b/c I don't have oodles of time to just muck around with it. Anyhoo....
Halby, good to hear you're on your way again. What kind of cycle are you doing this time around? I think it's interesting about just doing FET's rather than freshies. I've often thought that my body probably suffers when I do a straight freshie- I need high doses of FSH and it really knocks my body (and mind) around. I think a lot can be said for having time to relax after an EPU and get your hormones back in balance before doing a FET.

AFM- as mentioned, I'm just blithely ignoring all the things I should be doing to prepare for my EPU right now. I'm the heaviest I've ever been, not taking my vitamins, just doing lots of baking, drinking lots of Baileys and having fun. And the big news is we expanded our canine family yesterday. DP shocked the pants off me by suggesting we get a 2nd dog. I'm a dog lover, so I jumped at the opportunity and after a great deal of time visiting our local Lost Dogs Home, we have our new baby: Heidi, the black Staghound x Pointer pup and she's 4mths old. She's now the baby to our big, blonde Staghound x boy named Barney. She's like his mini-me. SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!! biggrin.gif

I big hi to DTR, Countrymel, and our Long Hauler graduates.  waves.gif

Edited by librablonde, 19 August 2012 - 07:17 AM.

#65 minidiamond

Posted 19 August 2012 - 09:21 AM

Hi all

Just popped in quickly, have been lurking a bit and crossing fingers for everyone.

Halby, great you have come to this decision, all the very best for the next chapter, I'll be watching out for your updates. I'm now firmly of the believe that for me, frozen is best.  All my bfps were from frozen embies and I think you're right not "wasting" any with a fresh when your body isn't in a more natural state.  

Spock, a buddy of mine from the clinic (I met her in a group counseling session) visited a reproductive immunologist in NYC, I wonder if its the same person ? She had some complications around immunity but is now 28 weeks pg.  All the very best.

Libra, don't stress too much about getting super-healthy.  Of course it's good to be on top of things but my honest belief is your body will cooperate with all the other stuff going on.  Massive congrats on your new fur kid !! As a dog lover too, it's so exciting to welcome a new family member.  We got our second dog when I fell pg, trying to get him past the crazy puppy stage before baby arrived, and I think it's worked.  We are so in love with our fur kids, and it's also great for them to have each other to play with.

DTR, hi, hope you are well
Mitch, likewise, I'll be looking out for an update from you also.

*preg and birth mentioned*

AFM, I am lying on the bed while our little boy snuffles asleep in the basinette alongside me.  He arrived 8/8 via CS, 3.6kgs and is doing brilliantly.  I still get choked up thinking about the arrival of our little miracle - I'm praying that each and everyone here will experience the same very very soon.

#66 dreamstoreality

Posted 21 August 2012 - 12:57 PM

QUOTE (Liltuss @ 19/08/2012, 09:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
*preg and birth mentioned*

AFM, I am lying on the bed while our little boy snuffles asleep in the basinette alongside me.  He arrived 8/8 via CS, 3.6kgs and is doing brilliantly.  I still get choked up thinking about the arrival of our little miracle - I'm praying that each and everyone here will experience the same very very soon.

Liltuss, that is so beautiful to hear about your little boy and massive congratulations to you. What a little miracle you most certainly do have. Thank you for your prayers and I hope they come true for everyone here including DH and I.

I'm in hospital on 15/9 for a hysteroscopy and D&C and pick up everything on 1/9 so we are almost ready to go again - round 5 - I hope its the lucky number.

Hi to everyone on here, I hope you are all doing ok.

#67 Spock

Posted 28 August 2012 - 07:50 PM

Hi ladies,

Liltuss, congratulations . I am so happy for you after such a difficult journey. Thank you for sharing your lovely news, it has brightened my day.

halby, how are you going?

libra, I think we might be cycling at similar times as we will be doing an FET towards the end of October. Don't stress, you still have September to get yourself into a place ready to try again. Pick yourself up slowly, no rush. Not like you have a quiet life either!

dreamstoreality, I guess you are just waiting now to get your surgery over with so you can get back into things again. hope all goes smoothly.

hi anyone else popping in, it's very quiet in here.

afm, Not sure if we will have success but feeling more confident with my NY reproductive immunologist on board. I am having a whole heap of bts on Thursday - 9 tubes of blood  huh.gif , all will be flown to USA for testing. Next consult is at the end of Sep when we will agree a protocol for my Oct FET. We have booked our flights and accommodation - Hawaii as you can imagine is pretty popular.

Take care everyone

#68 halby

Posted 07 September 2012 - 06:37 PM

Libra dont stress about the getting ready, I think after everything we do and still dont get the ultimate result we seem to relax about it all, I will refer to this more at the end of my post.
Spock good luck with it all in Hawaii you lucky girl. You an I may be doing an Fet around the same time fingers crossed for both of us.
Liltus good to see you popping in. Ah that crazy in love thing never fades thank goodness, you are so worthy and I know you are enjoying every minute.
dtr how is everything going for you, these boards are very quiet these days. Hope it is good news.
Mitchp how are you going?And hello to everyone else I have missed.
AFM well you would have though I had caught a slow boat to china. I have just had my epu after 15 days of stims and we got 6 nice eggs. My levels all rose beautiful but the old ovaries were very slow to get going. E2 only 300 on day 8 of stims. But the rising versus the follicle count was spot on for me. 6 is also my favorite number so heres hoping. So Libra as I said I have lost 15 kilos since last cycle and feel fantastic, yet 1 egg less and stimmed slowest ever, but time will only tell if my quality is better and I finally get that BFP again that continues into a take home baby. I have a new FS as my one of 7 years is very unwell and retiring from everything but U/S so been a bit sad for me, but my new one is lovely too. She double checked with me about the freeze all scenaro but with only a moderate amount of eggs, I am happy to continue with this idea. Even the embryologist aggreed and again commented on the supporting evidence on how the natural environment is more receptive with you natural p4 and such and not the stim drugs. And also on day 13 of stims at U/S my endo was only at 7.4 so definately not thick enough. Anyway I have to be pleased with that at my age, and we hope for good fert results tomorrow and progression to day 3 and then freeze. I dont want to go to blast as I cant have assisted hatching then. So now in 2.5 weeks time we are off to Bali for 12 wonderful nights and when I come back all refreshed we will jump into a fet. Very exciting!
have a great weekend ladies

Edited by halby, 07 September 2012 - 06:39 PM.

#69 Spock

Posted 14 September 2012 - 08:25 AM

Have a lovely relaxing time in Bali halby! Nice egg numbers there do hoping you get some good ones frozen. You might be in Bali as I type this actually.
Nothing much to report from me. Just waiting for our next consult. I'm on the pill and start Lucrin at the end of this month. Seriously busy with our house renovations.
Hi dtr, libra, mitchp and anyone else popping by. Hope you're all well.

#70 dreamstoreality

Posted 14 September 2012 - 10:36 AM

Hi ladies

My procedures are booked in for tomorrow and then all going well I will start our fifth cycle next week.

Halby have an awesome time in Bali you lucky duck - am very jealous!

Will let you know over the weekend how the procedures go and hopefully they won't find anything sinister inside that may cause issues.

Fingers crossed.  Am feeling a little strange about it as my Mum, Dad and eldest sister are holidaying in Europe at the moment and all I want to do is call them and get cuddles. It is strange not having my full support network here, but I know I'll be fine so just me being emotional because I can be!

Have a great day everyone.

#71 dreamstoreality

Posted 17 September 2012 - 03:02 PM

Just me again updating on my "procedures" from Saturday. All went well so all going well now we can start injections this week.  I am very anxious today, I think I want to start and know that we are on the road so to speak.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.

#72 halby

Posted 18 September 2012 - 01:14 PM

DTR glad all went well. Good luck with the jabber jabber. I hope to read wonderful news upon my return from bali. Ah cant wait for 12 beautiful nights of RnR. Leave in a week.

#73 mitchp

Posted 22 September 2012 - 03:48 PM

Hey all

Liltuss congrats on the arrival of your baby boy, that's very exciting indeed. I have been lurking and see there are other long haulers going through a stim cycle. Good luck all.

AFU - DP had EPU yesterday and got 5 follicles. We forgot to ring today to see how many fertilized but I assume if it was bad news they would have rung us. So all going well we have a double transfer on Monday.

Fingers crossed and good luck all xxx

#74 dreamstoreality

Posted 24 September 2012 - 12:40 PM

Great to hear from you Mitch and hopefully all goes well with DP's double transfer today.  Please do keep us up to date on how things go today and obviously going forwards.

Hi to everyone else as well!

AFM - well frustrated as all hell to be honest.  I am still waiting for my AF so I can start injections and I am currently 5 days late. Grrr. I had a little spotting yesterday (DH and I were doing little dances around the loungeroom out of excitement so we could start the rollercoaster again) - has been an incredibly tense week and now - nothing at all.  Am going to the toilet at least every half hour (or so it seems) to check and all I want to do is call my FN and say right, day two will be this.

Where for art thou AF?  Hurry up please!

#75 dreamstoreality

Posted 26 September 2012 - 10:34 AM

Hi everyone

Another update from me to say that AF finally arrived yesterday but not much so day 2 is going to be tomorrow!

Am ready to go with injections, albeit nervous, excited and anxious all at once!

Hope everyone is well.

Mitch, how did everything go on Monday for you and DP?

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