Jump to content
2 replies to this topic
Posted 07 May 2012 - 08:04 PM
Ok this is more of a vent
DS2 is 9 weeks old and DS1 is 20 months. In the last couple of weeks I feel like I can't divide my attention between them as much as I'd like. I feel terribly guilty that DS1 is often told to "go play" when I'm feeding DS2 (bottle feeding). That sometimes the making dinner/housework comes before sitting down and playing with DS1. That to keep the kids and house rolling over my attention needs to be on 15 things at once!!!
In the last weeks of my pregnancy we really were in survival mode and I feel like my husband and son didn'nt get the best of me in that time. I think back and it seems DH is just better at "playing" than I am . I regret it now because even though I realised it then I think having DS2 made me even more aware of how quickly this time goes and the importance of enjoying each stage and spending time with them.
We go swimming (without DS2) and to gymbaroo each week and I find myself hanging out for those times because its rare to have that uninterupted time where I can focus on him without a "to do" list running around in my head. I really don't think he feels deprived, he gets lots of stimulation and attention from DH and his grandparents- he's a good kid and used to me working "around him" and playing independantly for as much time as he is capable for his age...
Anyone else feel like this???
Posted 07 May 2012 - 09:08 PM
Yes, I have one child and I do feel guilty for all the times I have brushed her off, pushed her aside etc for something I wanted to do that really didn't need to happen right there and then. Not enough "quality" time even though the only one to stop me from doing it was me.
I am better at it now, I think it is because I like the games she likes now, I think I am not very patient with young child play.
I try not to focus on it, better to not sink into guilt but if I feel that way, I try to spend time with dd and really be "in the moment".
I think it is something many women experience, at least all of the mothers I am close friends with.
All of my friends and family have 2 children or more, maybe we are just primed/set up to feel it, being the "super-women" who are meant not only to have but to want it "all".
Sort of like destined to not live up to our expectations.
Somethings "gotta give" when you have competing demands (ie self and child, child + child and self, + hb, the list goes on).
Posted 07 May 2012 - 09:12 PM
Oh yeh, I can relate to this. DD was 21 months old when DS was born and it was the thing I struggled with the most. I felt like my catch phrase was "in a minute DD", she was always coming second (or so it felt!).
DS is nearly six months old now and it's gotten so much better. DS has regular sleeps so I make sure DD gets some quality one on one in those times. And to be honest it's probably been a good thing that she's learned she doesn't always come first, she has learnt a lot of patience in the last six months.
Mother guilt is the worst! I hope things settle for you soon.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.
You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.
A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.
Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".
It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.
Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.
We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.
Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".
I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.
Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.
Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.
An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.
A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.
Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?
A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.
Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.
At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.
There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.
Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.
Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.
When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Top 5 Articles
Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.
George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.
What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.
It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.
Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.
Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?
Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.
I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.
To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW
A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.
A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.
A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.
Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.
Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.
The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.
"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.
Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.
When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.
Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.
Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!