Jump to content
2 replies to this topic
Posted 07 May 2012 - 08:04 PM
Ok this is more of a vent
DS2 is 9 weeks old and DS1 is 20 months. In the last couple of weeks I feel like I can't divide my attention between them as much as I'd like. I feel terribly guilty that DS1 is often told to "go play" when I'm feeding DS2 (bottle feeding). That sometimes the making dinner/housework comes before sitting down and playing with DS1. That to keep the kids and house rolling over my attention needs to be on 15 things at once!!!
In the last weeks of my pregnancy we really were in survival mode and I feel like my husband and son didn'nt get the best of me in that time. I think back and it seems DH is just better at "playing" than I am . I regret it now because even though I realised it then I think having DS2 made me even more aware of how quickly this time goes and the importance of enjoying each stage and spending time with them.
We go swimming (without DS2) and to gymbaroo each week and I find myself hanging out for those times because its rare to have that uninterupted time where I can focus on him without a "to do" list running around in my head. I really don't think he feels deprived, he gets lots of stimulation and attention from DH and his grandparents- he's a good kid and used to me working "around him" and playing independantly for as much time as he is capable for his age...
Anyone else feel like this???
Posted 07 May 2012 - 09:08 PM
Yes, I have one child and I do feel guilty for all the times I have brushed her off, pushed her aside etc for something I wanted to do that really didn't need to happen right there and then. Not enough "quality" time even though the only one to stop me from doing it was me.
I am better at it now, I think it is because I like the games she likes now, I think I am not very patient with young child play.
I try not to focus on it, better to not sink into guilt but if I feel that way, I try to spend time with dd and really be "in the moment".
I think it is something many women experience, at least all of the mothers I am close friends with.
All of my friends and family have 2 children or more, maybe we are just primed/set up to feel it, being the "super-women" who are meant not only to have but to want it "all".
Sort of like destined to not live up to our expectations.
Somethings "gotta give" when you have competing demands (ie self and child, child + child and self, + hb, the list goes on).
Posted 07 May 2012 - 09:12 PM
Oh yeh, I can relate to this. DD was 21 months old when DS was born and it was the thing I struggled with the most. I felt like my catch phrase was "in a minute DD", she was always coming second (or so it felt!).
DS is nearly six months old now and it's gotten so much better. DS has regular sleeps so I make sure DD gets some quality one on one in those times. And to be honest it's probably been a good thing that she's learned she doesn't always come first, she has learnt a lot of patience in the last six months.
Mother guilt is the worst! I hope things settle for you soon.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.
Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.
The NSW Ambulance Service is removing child-safety seats from ambulances, while the Victorian service is facing criticism over lengthy response times following the death of a three-year-old.
Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.
Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.
One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.
When reading increasingly means swiping pages on a device, and we're advised to read to their children early and often, should parents be turning to e-readers for storytime?
A young dad who fought a five-year battle with cancer has been remembered for his inspiring legacy at a funeral service attended by hundreds of family and friends this week.
Public health authorities say the death of a toddler in north Queensland from meningococcal disease highlights the danger the illness poses.
Nicole Kidman is hoping to add to her family, but says she's doubtful it will happen.
Aldi has announced a recall of their popular Wooden London Bus play set.
From soft toys to balance bikes, here are some great ideas for first birthday gifts.
Kim Walsh arrived at the doctor with abdominal cramps. Hours later, she was cradling the baby experts told her she could never have.
I'm a far better person post-cancer than I ever was before. The goal now is to stay around long enough to find out who I can become, and what I can achieve.
Pete Evans is not a paediatrician or even a nutritionist or dietitian. So why should we believe his extreme views and remove food groups from our children's diets over the advice from those more qualified?
Forget the new 'Lawnmower' parenting trend; try using plain old-fashioned commonsense instead.
A US woman is suing a sperm bank after it sent her vials from African-American man, instead of the white donor she had selected.
Dad may not say it, but he could be feeling lost, confused and seriously left out. However, there are lots of things new fathers can do to be more included in the excitement of pregnancy and new parenthood.
Baby Laelani Baker was diagnosed with cancer before she was even born. Her heartbreaking story is just one of the reasons the Build for a Cure project is raising money for vital research into childhood cancer.
Parenting doesn’t ever get easier; the challenges just change. But the challenges of caring for young children definitely lessens as they get older.
As the first phase of an inquest into the death of Chloe Valentine drew to a close, there was no doubt Chloe's life was marred by appalling neglect.
The act of killing one's child is unthinkable for most, and a mother who kills her offspring has a special power to inspire shock and revulsion.
For those of us with young children, eight hours sleep is a distant memory. And while we can’t do much to secure more shut-eye, there are some ways to fake it.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
Top 5 Articles
I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.
Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!
It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.
Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.
A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.
Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.
Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.
When Grandma and Grandpa pose for a snap with the kids, things can get very weird, very quickly.
Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.
Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.
What's in a name?
Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.