Jump to content

Poo trauma


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 Peggy Olson

Posted 04 May 2012 - 09:52 PM

Hi everyone,

My son is 4 in July. We started toilet training him last year, and he has been weeing well pretty much since day 1. Poo, however, is a huge problem. He has a tendency to hold on to it, causing himself constipation and great discomfort. It's not unusual for him to go once a week. We have tried bribery, reading him stories while he sits on the toilet, taking him to the GP, giving him Actilax, increasing his fibre, increasing his water and so on. All to little avail.

The worst part about it is that he screams the house down when it is poo time. My otherwise sweet natured son becomes a shrieking banshee. I'm sure half the street can hear him screaming and me losing my temper.  He would seriously rather poo his pants than sit on the toilet.  It can take anywhere from half an hour to an hour to get him to push it out when it's apparent it's coming. We feel like we've tried every tactic in the book to get him to be more relaxed about poo. It is something we've been dealing with since July last year (!) and I really want to sort it out before his little brother/sister arrives in October!

So tell me, what are your tactics for dealing with poo evasion/constipation?

#2 roses99

Posted 04 May 2012 - 09:57 PM

I don't know the answer to your question, but my dad is a child psychologist and I know he's worked with small children who have anxiety issues around doing poos, like you've described.

Have you spoken to your GP? Maybe he/she can give you a referral to a good child psych who could help with a few strategies.

He's not likely to need more than a session or two, but it could be really helpful to get some strategies and for your son to talk through his concerns with someone who can help him.

FTR my dad uses puppets and drawing therapy when encouraging small children to open up, so it's not like traditional counselling.

#3 TwiceThe Woman

Posted 04 May 2012 - 09:58 PM

Sorry to be brief and gross but does he see Mum or Dad "going"?  as to be there with you or his Dad gives them confidence that all will be ok.
If you've already tried that, have a little friend come over who is also TT and ok with then pooing part - he will soon copy.
Good luck and hope this situation resolves soon OP.

#4 Tesseract

Posted 04 May 2012 - 10:04 PM

This was me as a kid. Turned out bananas really bound me up and made it hurt, once bananas were cut things were much I got over the anxiety.

#5 soapy

Posted 04 May 2012 - 10:04 PM

DS would hold on and still does sometimes. Also only doing one poo a week. My GP told me to use Parachoc. I would use it if he hadn't been for a couple of days. Another GP told me that his bowel will need to be retrained to go more often and to use Parachoc until he would go once a day. I thought that was a bit extreme so would just do it every three days. He now goes once every two to three days. I had to explain to him that it makes it harder to go if you hold on.

#6 Peggy Olson

Posted 06 May 2012 - 10:46 AM

TwicetheWoman - yes, he has seen us on the toilet doing our business. He often comes in to talk to one of us while were in there!

Tesseract - he doesn't eat bananas unfortunately :S.  We're being mindful to increase his fibre and water intake, so have got him to eat prunes and apples. That seems to do the trick in making him more regular, but he will still resist the urge and scream the house down in the process.

Soapy - we've tried that with Actilax. Like you, I also think it's extreme to give it every day. Have explained that do him as well that the longer he holds it, the harder and more painful it is.

Roses 99 - thanks, I'll give that a shot. The last GP I saw regarding this wasn't hugely helpful so I will take him to the one I'm currently seeing for my pregnancy as she's proactive in giving referrals and offering alternative suggestions.

#7 Milamum09

Posted 06 May 2012 - 10:56 AM

My DD was having the same problem. Then we introduced Psyllium husk sprinkled on her muesli and yoghurt each morning and have seen a huge improvement. It doesn't hurt to poo anymore and she therefore doesn't hold onto it causing her to be more constipated. She is now doing a nice soft poo every day. It was horrible to see her in pain every time she did a poo. She used to hold onto it so much she would only do it in her sleep when she was fully relaxed. Good luck.

#8 claptrap

Posted 06 May 2012 - 10:57 AM

Hi OP

I don't know which state you are in so I won't post a link to the Victorian site, but the Continence Foundation of Australia has various links and resources on their site - there may be some ideas there to assist.  I've found their materials very helpful in the past; admittedly a different situation (DS has SN).

It sounds as if your DS has both some physical issues but more the psychological fear, so obviously helping him along with plenty of fibre and fluids is going to help, but perhaps not be sufficient alone; you'll need some other tools and suggestions to help him get over the barrier he's building in his mind.

I wish you well with it - poor little chap, no fun for you or for him.

#9 MySpunkBubbles

Posted 07 May 2012 - 01:48 PM

Hi,
I wish I had the answers - but I can only share some insights from my experience/journey with you.  DS1 turned 4 in March of this year and he has been having toilet trouble since January 2011. There's a long story (and, no doubt a therapist would have a field day with hearing my re-telling of the last year-and-a-half) but we have, at times, had him taking Movicol, Parachoc and Osmolax).  He had an X-ray and it showed significant faecal loading.  We have changed his Paediatrician and the new one seems to be a better fit for us (and the situation).  He now has Osmolax and Parachoc on alternate days and the Paed has referred us to a Gastroenterologist and she wants us to start seeing a Psychologist (we have those appointments in the next few weeks).  Whilst I am anxious about it all and find it VERY CONFRONTING, I am willing to go to the ends of the earth (and back again, if I have to) to help him.  I'm sure your situation is dfferent to ours (and I don't tell you about it to add more worry) but I wish I had done more, sooner.  I spent a lot of time, floundering around or just not being confident that we were doing all we could to help him.  The great thing is that there's a lot of people who have replied to your post that have been able to sort it out quite quickly and easily.  I hope that's the case for you, too!  

My advice to you is as follows (and like all advice, some of it will be useful and other bits will be a "crock"):

* Trust your instincts - no-one knows your son as well as you do - does your gut tell you that it's something that needs more (or less?) medical assistance?
* Easier said than done (I know) but try not to put too much pressure/emphasis on it. We tried to teach our son all of the steps (starting with him going into the bathroom, pulling his own pants dow and sitting on the toilet (because we thought we might want to copy the other kids at day care and be able to do it himself)but one thing we learnt from taking him to the OT was to try and break things down into smaller tasks. So we just focussed on getting him to do one big poo every day, and not worry if he did it in his nappy (i.e., forget about the sitting on the toilet bit).
* It is best to get this sorted before his bowel/colon gets stretched - though that can take a long time to happen. If it DOES get stretched, it CAN be sorted but it can take a LONG time
* Apparently, it is OK to treat "withholding" quite aggressively with laxatives (I was worried about long-term use of laxatives and any damage that could be done - but apparently, there is a greater risk of long term damage/stretching of the colon if kids with faecal loading are not "cleared out")
* We found Osmolax to be the easiest type of laxative - it apparently has no taste, so can be dissolved in any drink.  You can buy it over the counter at chemists (but you may have to ask for it)
* When we give him Parachoc, we mix it with his yoghurt (let him choose the flavoured yoghurt that he wants the chocolate-flavoured "medicine" to go in)
* Make sure you are happy with the Dr that you are seeing - they're like any other service or tradesman - if you're not happy with what thay are doing (or telling you, or if they don't seem to be on the same page), go see someone else
* We have a few books that he sometimes asks us to read. We started just having them around the house and, after he showed an interest in them, we would read one to him  He will sometimes ask us for one of them, now:
"Even Firefighters go to the Potty" (but we change it to "Even Firemen go to the Toilet");
"It Hurts When I Poop" (this one is about a boy who is scared to go to the toilet, because he is afraid it's going to hurt. His parents want to help him, so they take him to see a Dr, who tells him a story about a coyote named Bill, who doesn't get rid of his rubbish, so his house gets so full the walls start to stretch, bulge and shake.  He decides to get rid of all the rubbish and sees how much better it is.  He gives himself a reward at the end of it.  After the Dr finishes the story, she asks Ryan if he wants to take care of his rubbish/poo.  She tells him about a "Poo Program" that teaches him about foods to make poo go hard or soft, plus some other things he can do to help.  My DS still asks us if various foods will make his food go hard or soft)

All the best with things!

Edited by ninjamummy, 07 May 2012 - 02:00 PM.


#10 Peggy Olson

Posted 15 May 2012 - 08:34 PM

Thanks everyone! Some really good advice and I'm glad to have different ideas to try out.

Most recently we've tried to distract him from the pain. We sit him on the toilet and read a story or sing a song and try to make him laugh instead of us losing our cool. Although he still cries a lot, the screaming is less.  We got him to poo on the toilet twice last week so hoping that this is the thing that eventually works for us.

The in-laws had him yesterday  (they babysit him every Monday) and said that he was showing signs of wanting to do a poo, but they decided to "leave it to us as they didn't want to deal with it", by which time he had lost interest and the urge to do it. I found that really frustrating to deal with!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.