Jump to content

Very Shy and Clingy 2 year old


  • Please log in to reply
15 replies to this topic

#1 Hip Hop

Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:34 PM

[/size]Hi there,

Well, I've just returned from another play date with a mum and her tot the sameage as my DD - and feel so deflated!


DD is a naturally shy little girl, most comfortable in her own environment and doesn’tlike other kids or people she isn't familiar with too much in her face. We havebeen going to the same mothers group since she was a baby, but was never thereal social kid. This has become even worse since I went back to work when shewas around 17 months. I work 4 days and she is in day care.


Day care is going well, and all reports I'm getting are positive. She doesn’t'tend to play with the extroverted kids and that’s okay. No concerns there.


But - I dread taking her out to friends, play groups or any social activity.She is super clingy, whinny and just won't leave me alone. If another childeven looks at her or dares tries to play with her, she is hysterical. Even whena friend or someone tries to interact she hates it and just screams and cries!I am so sick of the looks I get - not sure if its pity or what - but it justmakes me feel like crap.

Does anyone else have a LO similar to this? This behaviour was concerning me,so I set up a meeting with day care and they reassured me somewhat. But, todaysomeone suggested I get her "assessed". I was so upset by thiscomment as I thought this may have just been a stage, or her personality typebut maybe I'm avoiding something more serious?

Just wanted to see if anyone else has similar toddlers and if any strategiesworked for them? I love my little girl to bits, but I can't help but feel I’mnot doing the right thing by her...


Thank you in advance.





[size="3"]


#2 bark

Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:38 PM

Was it daycare that suggested further looking in to it or somebody else?

#3 Hip Hop

Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:44 PM

No, not day care.  Another mum.  Day care told me I had nothing to worry about.  My gut is telling me I don't have anything to worry about, but its hard when I see all the other kids playing and my little one just clinging onto me.

#4 bark

Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:49 PM

Well  if she is fine at daycare, perhaps she just misses you so much so when you are together she just wants to be with you.



#5 Pocahontas

Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:51 PM

Just a thought but DS1 at that age was going to DC 3 days a week and that was quite enough socialisation for him.  i found that on the other days he was quite happy with his own company and needed the down-time away from other kids.  

Even now at 6 years old, he socialises well but still needs his own space after school and on the weekends to do his own thing. I think he is more introverted personality rather than on the autistic spectrum.  Perhaps that's that same with your LO.  

TBH - If your DC had said something then I'd listen as they see lots of kids and would have experience in picking up warning signs.  If it's another mum then I'd ignore.



#6 PriLou

Posted 04 May 2012 - 02:30 PM

I agree with Pocahontas.

My DS is 29 months. Although I'm on maternity leave at the moment, last year he went to DC Mon - Thur. I found on Fridays that we was tired, missed me, and was happy to actually spend some time at home with his toys.

Even now it depends on the child we are with. He has a calm nature and plays nicely with similar kids. He can't handle the ones who are full-on. He has his own mind and won't be dragged around. It also takes him a good half hour to become comfortable.

#7 missj

Posted 04 May 2012 - 02:39 PM

Hip  Hop, my DS2 (he is 4 years old) sounds so similar to your DD!  He is fine around us and his brother and sister, but if there are other kids around (even his cousins) he is very shy and introverted.  Same at daycare, he is very quiet.  I have no other concerns about him, and I know that there is nothing more to it than just shyness, he is perfectly 'normal' in every way.  
I do understand your frustration, though - we just want to see our kids happy and playing with other kids, and when it's not happening that way, you feel for the child and worry that they aren't going to make friends.  My DS starts school next year, and I'm so worried about him not being able to fit in with the other kids, or to speak up when he needs to.  We are working on it, along with his preschool teachers (who are fantastic, I can't speak highly enough of them).


#8 VintageEyes

Posted 04 May 2012 - 02:40 PM

Just sounds  like she wants to spend time with you when she can.
I noticed in my Mum's group that when one little boy started day care for a few days a week got quite clingy when at the group - he was the same as the other kids before that.
Perhaps it would be better to have some home time on the days you are not working? Some kids (my DS included) get quite drained from being around other people/kids.

#9 lilibet67

Posted 04 May 2012 - 02:59 PM

How is she when you leave her at daycare and also does she play with kids or along side the other kids there?

#10 Sancti-mummy

Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:08 PM

You describe my girl to a T.  I was at coffee with a few friends and their children/grandchildren the same age, but luckily they were quite supportive and didn't stress.

Some kids are like that - some grow out of it, others don't.

Fridays are "Mummy Day" here, and I have a little shadow.  Its cool.

#11 froggy1

Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:09 PM

Hi, my daughter was a lot like this. at daycare 3 days a week and very clingy on days off. she'd been going to mothers group since birth which I loved (and she hated - too noisy). When we moved suburbs I tried a new playgroup and it was a disaster. call me silly, but it took me weeks to work out that she really really did not want to go to mothers group or playgroup, she just wanted to spend our days off with just mum. once i gave up on that type of socialisation she was soo much happier. now she is 6.5 she's still shy and quiet - she finds school overwhelming at times. she just gets sick of the noise! it's no problems, its just her personality type. she's found some other little girls (who are pretty low key) to hang out with and she's happy! good luck

Hi, my daughter was a lot like this. at daycare 3 days a week and very clingy on days off. she'd been going to mothers group since birth which I loved (and she hated - too noisy). When we moved suburbs I tried a new playgroup and it was a disaster. call me silly, but it took me weeks to work out that she really really did not want to go to mothers group or playgroup, she just wanted to spend our days off with just mum. once i gave up on that type of socialisation she was soo much happier. now she is 6.5 she's still shy and quiet - she finds school overwhelming at times. she just gets sick of the noise! it's no problems, its just her personality type. she's found some other little girls (who are pretty low key) to hang out with and she's happy! good luck

#12 Ice Queen

Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:17 PM

I wouldnt worry and certainly would not have her assessed.  4 days in dc is a lot for a 2yo, i would skip the playdates for now and focus on you and her and staying at home on the other day. biggrin.gif

#13 Guest_pessi_*

Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:26 PM

QUOTE
How is she when you leave her at daycare and also does she play with kids or along side the other kids there?


And how is she otherwise? This suggestion to get her assessed, did this other mother say it just based on the clinginess or are there other things not quite right, like speech, sleep, eating?

The shy, clingy thing wouldn't concern me too much, especially if she plays well with others in your absence and maybe PPs are right and she's just extra clingy on those days she has you to herself. But if she reacts with near-hysteria to all approaches from other people, rarely warms up to anyone even after prolonged contact, then I'd be inclined to think it's not just normal shyness and might warrant looking into.

With my shy child, the thing that helps her the most is trying to keep the environment familiar when possible - for meeting people, for instance, the same park or cafe regularly, or having friends visit us rather than always going to new and different places. It helps her relax, having something other than me around that's familiar, and she's more able to enjoy the social interactions.  


#14 Natttmumm

Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:35 PM

Personally I would NOT worry. If daycare says she is fine there then I would accept that. DD1 was like that until age 4. It really upset me and I really focused on it. I found she was ok with a few particular kids like her cousins and one mothers group friend. Other than that she didnt want to play but was fine at daycare. DD2 is 2 now and is exactly the same if her sister is not there. Im not worried at all and I just go to the playdates and she sits on my lap. Sometimes she plays others not. My advice is dont push her or be upset with her, just comfort her as she needs it. Sounds like she just needs you on your day off

#15 More than a Mother

Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:36 PM

My 3.5 year old is introverted - fine with those he knows well, but slow to warm in new situations and with new people. I'm fine with that, and I just let people know that he's slow to warm - I don't want to label him 'shy'.

I don't expect him to just potter off and play with unfamiliar children - I go with him and stay, gradually removing my self from the situation when he's comfortable.

I tell him it's ok to just watch what's going on until he's ready to get involved - that reduces any expectation on him. I'm finding that it works well.

I think that acknowledging to him how he's feeling, and vocalising it helps him to understand that it's ok to observe for a while.

I think if she's fine at daycare, you just need to work with her in new situations and with new children.

It's not bad to be an introvert.

#16 Amber Loren's Mum

Posted 04 May 2012 - 10:43 PM

My DD (27mths) goes 2 days to CC, I made a few observations at pick up and voiced concerns to team group leader - i noted she would be playing by herself and just asked her how she interacted through the day.  She said was pretty much into her own company but got along with others when needed to. If not interacting more by 3years then maybe start to be concerned but dont panic yet.

We go to MG and have since birth, after first say 1/2 hour will keep to my side but will then join in - not full on but will play and leave my side.

Lately however I must admit i have noticed my DD is more clingy than she normally is to me 'mummy' - perhaps just one of those toddler phases we have to experience but certainly something that I am hoping is only temporary too.

I wouldnt be too concerned and definitely IMO assessment is not required at this stage.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Funny Father's Day cards

A little fun never goes astray when celebrating special occasions and Father's Day is no different. We've rounded up some funny Father's day cards for your husbands, fathers and other important men in your lives.

Electronic tags may keep newborns safe

The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital. 

Baby steps: when your little one starts walking

As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.

Julia Watson's new book 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.

How not to name twins

Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.

Fun Sunny Life pool inflatables just for babies

The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.

Baby and bulldog born on the same day are best friends

When Chicago mum Ivette Ivens saw a French bulldog puppy who had the same birthdate as her son Dilan, she "just knew it?s meant to be" and took him home. Five months later, puppy Farley and Dilan are the best of friends - as Ivens says, "I?m pretty sure Dilan thinks they?re both the same species, as they walk at the same level and are both going through the stage of chewing on everything.?

Breastfeeding basics for beginners

Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.

Girl smothers baby brother with peanut butter

This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.

How to hide those under eye shadows

Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.

Young mum dies after being denied pap smear

A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.

Birthday cakes banned at childcare centre

A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.

Triplet surprise for newlyweds

As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.

3 yummy Thermomix baby and toddler recipes

Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.

Man arrested over toddler Nikki's death

A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.

Adoption ban on pregnant women to be lifted

Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.

Are you getting enough magnesium?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Mums to follow on Instagram

A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dad bags: 10 picks for out and about

Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's?

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Designer kids clothing good enough to eat by Oeuf

Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

 

FREE TICKET

Discover the magic of the LEGO DUPLO Play Area in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.