Jump to content

Tips for dealing with a newborn and a toddler!


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 sleeplessmamma

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:13 PM

I have a 20 month old DS and an 11 day old DS2. Luckily I have my dad here helping out this week and my mum next week. After that though Im scared! DP is FANTASTIC but hes back at work, he will go out of his way to help when hes at home but Im a bit worried about the day time.

DS1 has never been a good sleeper, we have to lie down with him for sleeps, fine when DPs here at night, but what about the day? Do I just leave DS2 to cry/whinge while getting DS1 to sleep?

Im still establishing b'feeding with DS2, I had lots of struggles with DS1 and thats happening now too. DS2 seems to like comfort sucking as much as his brother did, but what do I do to make sure DS1 is entertained and not neglected? Ive had the telly on waaaay too much and dont really want to do that.

DS2 has just left his wonderful newborn sleepy stage behind and is entering the world where he wants to be either awake or on my boob or else he SCREECHES! Its hard hard work and I have people helping me!

Also what about meals etc, like I said DP is fantastic but I also want to be able to give him a break!

I know in ~6 weeks to 3 months life will be a little easier but this is what Im living now so help!

Also once my family leave I dont really have any external support (as in family). So its just me and DP.

#2 IVL

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:22 PM

You will survive and it will get easier, and one day they will be great mates, but it can be hard.

My DD2 was like yours and spent about 23 out of 24 hours attached to me. DD1 wanted me to sit with her until she went to sleep, so I sat there feeding DD2 whilst getting DD1 down for a nap. You can try making a lunch box for both you and DS1 whilst your DP is at home, or the night before. Some nights dinner was very simple, maybe just a platter of vegies, fruit, cheese some protein and crackers. Try making some nice soups on the the weekends when you DP is home for eating during the week.

I had to get out every day both for me and DD1, visits to the park and often a long walk in the late afternoon. Try and do shopping on the weekends and just get essentials during the week - accept all offers of help.



#3 deejie

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:26 PM

The first thing I would say is don't drive yourself to guilt by aiming to be everywhere at once. There are times where you will have to leave your older child to grumble and whinge while dealing with your baby and times where you will have to leave your baby crying to deal with your toddler. There is only one of you, do what you can when you can.

I found once BFing was established and DS2 started to feed faster (about 4 weeks old), things became a LOT easier because I wasn't tied to the couch. And when I was tied to the couch, I just made do. We read books, or I had DS1's magnet board ready, or a pile of cheap $2 sticker books etc. Of course I resorted to the TV and for the first month/two months, he watched way too much TV. But my basic philosophy was to do what I can to get through the day and once DS2 became more settled around 2 months of age, his TV was cut back to the usual 1 hour per day.

To be honest, I still struggle with mealtimes, especially dinner during feral hour with toddler fussiness thrown in to boot. I eat with DS1 if I can, otherwise if DS2 is being impossible I just wait until they are both in bed.

Bathing the two of them, I put DS1 in the big bath, then bath DS2 in the baby bath while he splashes around. Dry DS2, then get DS1 out and head to the loungeroom. Plonk DS2 on the mat/swing/bouncer and tend to DS1. Now DS2 has outgrown the baby bath we all climb in the big bath together, get DS2 out to dry him/me etc then get DS1 & head to loungeroom as above. It's messy and usually involves being screeched at by one or both of them, but ultimately it works.

Like you we have no family in the area and DH gets home after they are both in bed for the night. At the end of the day, it pays to sneak in, look at them sleeping soundly and figure I must be doing something right. Hang in there!

ETA- If your baby is like mine and needs to be attached to you ALL the time, invest in a good quality sling/carrier and help save your sanity original.gif I swear there were days when DS2 spent most of the day in there.....

Edited by deejie, 01 May 2012 - 04:27 PM.


#4 Lucygoosey1

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:45 PM

Do you have a baby swing?  Lifesaver for me, when my DD2 was little.  I have an 18mth gap.  It's all a bit of a blur I must say.  But I'd settle the easiest one first, then attend to the one that might take time.  This was generally settling DD2 first as she was quite relaxed.  Then I could put my DD1 down for her nap.  Actually we used to go out a lot,  so my DD2 would nap in pram or car,  then we'd get home & DD1 would be tired & nap easily.  I'd always prepare easy meals in the morning.  Right down to putting frozen veg into a microwave container.  I had easy snacks on hand for my toddler & I.  I used tv a lot and had DD1 on top of me whilst breastfeeding DD2 a lot, reading books etc.  We'd all go in the bath together from when DD2 was a few weeks old.  Prior to that I found it too difficult to bath her & manage my toddler on my own.  I'd buy a new toy or crayons or stickers whenever I was out.  But it went away in a box for when I needed to buy time, actually this worked really well.  Often I'd spend only $2.  They will cry at the same time, probably multiple times a day.  And online groceries omg my best friend!  I do my grocery order whilst breastfeeding now (DD2 is 8mths).

#5 sleeplessmamma

Posted 01 May 2012 - 05:54 PM

Thanks everyone, theres some fantastic tips there. Making a lunchbox the night before is a great idea and DP and I have been talking about being more prepared on the w'ends w food. We have a baby swing and a good sling so must utilise them more original.gif I know its going to be great later just painful now! And there goes DS2 woken up by his big brother...

#6 Ice Queen

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:00 PM

Another big vote for online shopping.

#7 JustSmileAndNod

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:07 PM

Alcohol. And never leave the baby alone in a room with the toddler even to go to the toilet. Yes, 25 month olds CAN get a baby out of the rocker, fully undress the baby including nappy, and transport the baby into another room, without the baby making a sound, all while you haves quick trip to the loo.

#8 IVL

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:22 PM

I lived by the motto that the worst that can happen to the newborn is that they will cry for a little while, the toddler on the other hand might set fire to your house if left alone!

#9 biscuits

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:25 PM

You said you've had the telly on way too much....don't feel guilty as it wont last forever. We bought some movies and playschool DVDs.  I hate to admit it but Cars was played and watched three times one day very early on in the piece.  Five months on and it's restricted to playschool in the morning and if I'm about to lose my mind.

I now meal plan and always have fruit on hand for snacks which cuts evening chaos by a tiny bit.  I get prepared for dinner during afternoon nap and the toddler helps 'chopping' veges or doing dishes and the like to keep him occupied during the actual cooking. It can get messy and wet but at least he's not clawing at my legs and grizzling.

I found feeding the new baby with toddler crawling all over me difficult so I tried to talk to him about when he was a little baby or get him to bring things for me to look at.

I have a generous glass of wine of an evening after the bedtime feed  wink.gif

#10 sleeplessmamma

Posted 03 May 2012 - 12:19 AM

EB really has been a godsend for me, thanks everyone for your wonderful words of advice and non judgement! I need to get paper and pen, write all this down and stick it on the fridge! original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

6 tips for transitioning back to work after baby

Mums returning to work - and yes, dads too - aren't the same as when they left. But that doesn't mean they're not as good as they once were.

Couple reveals pregnancy with epic Britney Spears parody

How do you create an original pregnancy announcement and gender reveal? You turn to Britney Spears.

The truth about birthing a big baby

When told that they are having a 'big baby', many women have a lot of fears. But those fears are often unfounded.

Eight months pregnant and addicted to eating soap

This bizarre snack takes the cake (of soap) when it comes to weird pregnancy cravings.

Can you spot the drowning child?

Can you spot him in the video? The child who loses his rubber ring, panics, and then almost drowns? It isn't easy.

Noodles, peanuts, wee wees and lady bits

Yes, I know it's silly. I know all the advice from experts is to use the right terminology from the moment your child can talk. But I just can't.

Mum's brave battle for unborn triplets amid cancer diagnosis

Bree O'Malley has a cancer diagnosis, a rare blood condition, kidney and liver failure and other complications. And she is pregnant with triplets.

 

Win $500

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.