Jump to content

Tips for dealing with a newborn and a toddler!


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 sleeplessmamma

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:13 PM

I have a 20 month old DS and an 11 day old DS2. Luckily I have my dad here helping out this week and my mum next week. After that though Im scared! DP is FANTASTIC but hes back at work, he will go out of his way to help when hes at home but Im a bit worried about the day time.

DS1 has never been a good sleeper, we have to lie down with him for sleeps, fine when DPs here at night, but what about the day? Do I just leave DS2 to cry/whinge while getting DS1 to sleep?

Im still establishing b'feeding with DS2, I had lots of struggles with DS1 and thats happening now too. DS2 seems to like comfort sucking as much as his brother did, but what do I do to make sure DS1 is entertained and not neglected? Ive had the telly on waaaay too much and dont really want to do that.

DS2 has just left his wonderful newborn sleepy stage behind and is entering the world where he wants to be either awake or on my boob or else he SCREECHES! Its hard hard work and I have people helping me!

Also what about meals etc, like I said DP is fantastic but I also want to be able to give him a break!

I know in ~6 weeks to 3 months life will be a little easier but this is what Im living now so help!

Also once my family leave I dont really have any external support (as in family). So its just me and DP.

#2 IVL

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:22 PM

You will survive and it will get easier, and one day they will be great mates, but it can be hard.

My DD2 was like yours and spent about 23 out of 24 hours attached to me. DD1 wanted me to sit with her until she went to sleep, so I sat there feeding DD2 whilst getting DD1 down for a nap. You can try making a lunch box for both you and DS1 whilst your DP is at home, or the night before. Some nights dinner was very simple, maybe just a platter of vegies, fruit, cheese some protein and crackers. Try making some nice soups on the the weekends when you DP is home for eating during the week.

I had to get out every day both for me and DD1, visits to the park and often a long walk in the late afternoon. Try and do shopping on the weekends and just get essentials during the week - accept all offers of help.



#3 deejie

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:26 PM

The first thing I would say is don't drive yourself to guilt by aiming to be everywhere at once. There are times where you will have to leave your older child to grumble and whinge while dealing with your baby and times where you will have to leave your baby crying to deal with your toddler. There is only one of you, do what you can when you can.

I found once BFing was established and DS2 started to feed faster (about 4 weeks old), things became a LOT easier because I wasn't tied to the couch. And when I was tied to the couch, I just made do. We read books, or I had DS1's magnet board ready, or a pile of cheap $2 sticker books etc. Of course I resorted to the TV and for the first month/two months, he watched way too much TV. But my basic philosophy was to do what I can to get through the day and once DS2 became more settled around 2 months of age, his TV was cut back to the usual 1 hour per day.

To be honest, I still struggle with mealtimes, especially dinner during feral hour with toddler fussiness thrown in to boot. I eat with DS1 if I can, otherwise if DS2 is being impossible I just wait until they are both in bed.

Bathing the two of them, I put DS1 in the big bath, then bath DS2 in the baby bath while he splashes around. Dry DS2, then get DS1 out and head to the loungeroom. Plonk DS2 on the mat/swing/bouncer and tend to DS1. Now DS2 has outgrown the baby bath we all climb in the big bath together, get DS2 out to dry him/me etc then get DS1 & head to loungeroom as above. It's messy and usually involves being screeched at by one or both of them, but ultimately it works.

Like you we have no family in the area and DH gets home after they are both in bed for the night. At the end of the day, it pays to sneak in, look at them sleeping soundly and figure I must be doing something right. Hang in there!

ETA- If your baby is like mine and needs to be attached to you ALL the time, invest in a good quality sling/carrier and help save your sanity original.gif I swear there were days when DS2 spent most of the day in there.....

Edited by deejie, 01 May 2012 - 04:27 PM.


#4 Lucygoosey1

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:45 PM

Do you have a baby swing?  Lifesaver for me, when my DD2 was little.  I have an 18mth gap.  It's all a bit of a blur I must say.  But I'd settle the easiest one first, then attend to the one that might take time.  This was generally settling DD2 first as she was quite relaxed.  Then I could put my DD1 down for her nap.  Actually we used to go out a lot,  so my DD2 would nap in pram or car,  then we'd get home & DD1 would be tired & nap easily.  I'd always prepare easy meals in the morning.  Right down to putting frozen veg into a microwave container.  I had easy snacks on hand for my toddler & I.  I used tv a lot and had DD1 on top of me whilst breastfeeding DD2 a lot, reading books etc.  We'd all go in the bath together from when DD2 was a few weeks old.  Prior to that I found it too difficult to bath her & manage my toddler on my own.  I'd buy a new toy or crayons or stickers whenever I was out.  But it went away in a box for when I needed to buy time, actually this worked really well.  Often I'd spend only $2.  They will cry at the same time, probably multiple times a day.  And online groceries omg my best friend!  I do my grocery order whilst breastfeeding now (DD2 is 8mths).

#5 sleeplessmamma

Posted 01 May 2012 - 05:54 PM

Thanks everyone, theres some fantastic tips there. Making a lunchbox the night before is a great idea and DP and I have been talking about being more prepared on the w'ends w food. We have a baby swing and a good sling so must utilise them more original.gif I know its going to be great later just painful now! And there goes DS2 woken up by his big brother...

#6 Ice Queen

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:00 PM

Another big vote for online shopping.

#7 JustSmileAndNod

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:07 PM

Alcohol. And never leave the baby alone in a room with the toddler even to go to the toilet. Yes, 25 month olds CAN get a baby out of the rocker, fully undress the baby including nappy, and transport the baby into another room, without the baby making a sound, all while you haves quick trip to the loo.

#8 IVL

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:22 PM

I lived by the motto that the worst that can happen to the newborn is that they will cry for a little while, the toddler on the other hand might set fire to your house if left alone!

#9 biscuits

Posted 02 May 2012 - 04:25 PM

You said you've had the telly on way too much....don't feel guilty as it wont last forever. We bought some movies and playschool DVDs.  I hate to admit it but Cars was played and watched three times one day very early on in the piece.  Five months on and it's restricted to playschool in the morning and if I'm about to lose my mind.

I now meal plan and always have fruit on hand for snacks which cuts evening chaos by a tiny bit.  I get prepared for dinner during afternoon nap and the toddler helps 'chopping' veges or doing dishes and the like to keep him occupied during the actual cooking. It can get messy and wet but at least he's not clawing at my legs and grizzling.

I found feeding the new baby with toddler crawling all over me difficult so I tried to talk to him about when he was a little baby or get him to bring things for me to look at.

I have a generous glass of wine of an evening after the bedtime feed  wink.gif

#10 sleeplessmamma

Posted 03 May 2012 - 12:19 AM

EB really has been a godsend for me, thanks everyone for your wonderful words of advice and non judgement! I need to get paper and pen, write all this down and stick it on the fridge! original.gif




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.