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21mths Hitting me with toys/slapping and laughing

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#1 BeYOUtiful

Posted 01 May 2012 - 10:06 AM

Our son has just recently started to whack his toy golf stick at me.  He is also slapping me and will then laugh.
He is not trying to hit me in specific areas but usually my legs cop the golf sticks and the slaps are legs/arms.  Last night the slap got me in the face  sad.gif  He laughed, so I know he isn't trying to hurt me.  I just don't know where it is coming from as we do not smack, I/we use distraction if he is doing something he shouldn't be.

Last night I used distraction for the slapping as well, as no wasn't working.

Is this common?  
He is otherwise a beautiful gentle loving boy.  Always giving kisses and cuddles, learns quickly.  I ensure he has plenty of outside play everyday etc.

Edited by ~Jane05~, 01 May 2012 - 10:31 AM.

#2 bekkylex

Posted 01 May 2012 - 10:20 AM

My DS does this, I think it is normal for this age, but if you proactive, it can become worse.
Distraction isn't going to work with hitting, you need to let him know that it is not appropriate. Try explaining to him that you hurt him, and show him that he needs to be more gentle.
If he still laughs, punish him in some way, eg. take the toy off him, stop interacting with him when he slaps you, eg. if you're holding him, put him on the floor.
Hope that gives you some ideas,
Good luck!

#3 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 01 May 2012 - 10:28 AM

DS 18 months has been doing this for a few months especially at nappy change time.

I tell him no hitting, you are hurting mummy in a very serious voice and if its any other time like if he hit me with a toy etc he would get that toy taken off him. If I was holding him and he hit me I would say no once put him down and walk away.

I dont know why they do it, im on gaurd at all times now.

he gets this glint in his eye, I can predict when he is about to do it now.

#4 BeYOUtiful

Posted 01 May 2012 - 10:30 AM

Thanks Bekkylex - When he slapped me last night I was holding him and as you suggested I did put him down and told him he hurt me.  I do tell him to be gentle and tell him he is hurting Mummy although he does it again and laughs.  I again persist with saying it and cease to play with him.

eta Thanks RetroMumma

Edited by ~Jane05~, 01 May 2012 - 10:33 AM.

#5 paddyboo

Posted 01 May 2012 - 10:37 AM

Go through my posts and you will see I have had this exact same problem. We have been dealing with it using our MCHN advice. She said he is old enough to start understanding boundaries and being a member of society, and there are some things that are wrong, which are hurting people, like hitting, kicking, throwing, etc. We would grab his arm as soon as he went to hit (so before he made contact) and say no. If he was using a toy to hit/throw with it was confiscated. If he did it again, he had timeout which was 30secs-1 minute in his cot. He has changed dramatically and now he rarely hits us, but it takes consistency. Timeout was only used for this (hurting people/animals)

#6 onyerbikeluv

Posted 01 May 2012 - 10:38 AM

Totally normal for that age.  

As suggested by PP, at that age if she hit us then we used to just walk away and ignore for a bit - I found this had more of an impact than any other method, and she was just a teensy bit too young for much of an explanation other than "always be gentle with people". I don't think at first they know it's wrong, they just test our reactions and that's an action that always gets a response.

Next stage was a warning, then a short time out, then an explanation.

If she still does it now (26 months), she gets an immediate time out, then after the tears of time out we sit down and explain that the time out was because she hit and that she has to be gentle with people. She definitely knows it's wrong now, and she always says "Sorry mum" with a hug after time out. Or I'll get a soft stroke of the face with a "gentle" that makes me forgive all.

It doesn't happen often these days - but she will still lash out either in anger or if she's just being silly (thinking it's funny) when she's super tired/frustrated. No immediate fix me thinks.

Edited to add - like PP, at this age we only use time outs for hitting/hurting other people.

Edited by onyerbikeluv, 01 May 2012 - 10:40 AM.

#7 Doodalicious

Posted 02 May 2012 - 10:14 AM

My 19 month old son does this all the time too. It used to be biting but these days it's usually slaps to the face or headbutts to the face or body. He makes a funny facial expression just before he does it, so I can usually duck the worst of it.

I let him see that he has hurt me, and make him kiss it better, and tell him "be gentle with mummy" and he pats me gently to show he understands. If he doesn't stop he goes into his cot for time out.

Hope he stops soon...

#8 BeYOUtiful

Posted 03 May 2012 - 10:24 AM

Thanks everyone.  So far he has only done it once since my post here.  I took the toy away, told him to be gentle, he pouted, chin to chest.  Then shortly after played happily again.

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