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Not enjoying the newborn stage
Anyone else?

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#26 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:24 PM

I hated the newborn stage as well. My SIL is having a baby soon and a friend of mine is due next week and I get asked all the time if it is making me want another. Nope, no way. I don't like the unpredicatability of newborns and the sleep deprivation. But it does pass, and rather quickly in the scheme of things.

#27 marthajones

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:28 PM

I wouldn't be feeling guilty - you see so many people feel the same!  Newborns can be really hard work and the sleep deprivation and disruption to your settled life with your DS1 probably isn't helping matters!  

My second bub is great and I'm not hating it as I did with number 1, but I am still looking forward to a bit more predictability and settledness in this house!

#28 abc_123

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:41 PM

Another here who really disliked the newborn stage. In fact, I'm not a fan of the first 12 months at all! DS is now 14 months old, and I'm really beginning to enjoy hanging out with him now - tantrums and all original.gif

I used to cringe when he was a newborn and people told me that it was the best age. Best age? What the...? You're telling me it gets WORSE?

Thankfully it gets MUCH better as time goes by.

Hang in there original.gif

#29 Tea~for~two

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 01/05/2012, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Aw, I love the newborn stage, they're just so squishy and lovable. They have the sparkliest eyes, too. Yes, it's hard, but it's a stage that is now gone for me and I miss it terribly.

Hehehe - this is what I think whenever I hold other people's newborns - and then it all comes back to me...

Newborns are so much nicer when they belong to someone else original.gif

#30 Cat Burglar

Posted 01 May 2012 - 05:17 PM

I didnt enjoy the stage from 1 - 5 months as DD had shocking reflux. I seriously want the next one to be 6 months old when it pops out - they are much more interactive and have developed personality by then.

Doesnt mean you are a bad mum or dont enjoy being a mum. Hope things pick up!

#31 katevin

Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:31 PM

Double post.

Edited by katevin, 01 May 2012 - 08:35 PM.

#32 katevin

Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:33 PM

I seriously want the next one to be 6 months old when it pops out - they are much more interactive and have developed personality by then.

Ouch blink.gif laughing2.gif

Would be lovely if you could somehow skip the horrible parts of those first 6 months though!

#33 JupitersMoon

Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:57 PM

The newborn stage was awful for me.
DD was a difficult baby, hated the pram, the car, anything other than non stop cuddles and/or bf, including at night, until... oh 12 months, still hated the car until she was turned FF about 14 months.  After that she got better and better, and is a delightful toddler so far - although she is still a crap sleeper. she has tantys but i understand what she wants, and can deal with it.
its only now at 22/23 months i am toying with the idea of another... and im still not ready to take that leap!

#34 belindarama

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:10 PM

The only thing stopping me from signing on for number three is the thought of being pregnant and the newborn stage.

I don't get the love for it. Yes, there are lovely moments but they are few and far between.

Three months of morning sickness and not sleeping, followed by 6 months of horrific back pain and not sleeping, followed by a newborn and not sleeping. Not sure I can face it...

#35 lylac

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:16 PM

I really really didn't enjoy my son as a newborn, my daughter wasn't quite as full on.
I'm really glad I'm not going back there.
I don't regret feeling that way - I'm just glad it's over.

#36 Madeline's Mum

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:17 PM

The first few months are hard. I didn't enjoy it at all. I found it wasn't until about 6 or so months that I really started enjoying him.

Don't beat yourself up, I bet you're doing an amazing job!

#37 nik_klinger

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:22 PM

I'm quoting a friend of mine who is about to have her 3rd child,

"The first 12 weeks can be a very dark place",

I found this to be quite true. It became a bit of a mantra!!

#38 coolbreeze

Posted 02 May 2012 - 05:01 PM

Oh I love the newborn stage. If they stayed like that I would have a hundred! Predictable, Portable and Feed, Play and Sleep.
Now 18months to 3.5 I find more of a challenge, especially with my second, mainly because I had an older one to deal with and they are harder to communicate with. Lots of chasing down streets and re direction. Tantrums too!
He is four now, great age and the autumn of dependence and almost on the cusp of being a "boy" instead of a pre schooler.
They are still totally in love with you, have more common sense and can control emotions better. Plus they say the cutests things!
But look really, all in all most stages have there pluses and minuses, but I agree each to there own and it is natural to like some stages beter than others.
My mantra through these years are "the days are long, but the years are short" and I am sure I will look back at their babyhood with rose coloured glasses and love ever minute of it. Maybe we remember only the good bits.
Good luck

#39 Mummy-2-1boy

Posted 02 May 2012 - 08:01 PM

I could have written your post word for word! I really don't enjoy having a newborn and a toddler! At least I'm not the only one that feels this way!

#40 Natttmumm

Posted 02 May 2012 - 08:06 PM

Newborn with another child at home is tough work. Hang in there those smiles are worth it once you get more sleep. My youngest is 2 now and sometimes I wish she was a newborn again happy.gif

#41 Oriental lily

Posted 02 May 2012 - 10:34 PM

I love the first year.
From newborn until they are walking.

Toddlers are the bigger challenge in my opinion. I would gladly list my 3 year old and 20 month old on eBay most days lol.

To be honest though I was terrified of my first newborn. I was totally lost and didn't have a clue. With my second and third I threw out the rule book and done my own type of attachment parenting. Co slept from day dot, baby carried and let routine develop at its own rate.

This really gave me freedom.

Newborns make my heart melt They amaze me and fascinate me and they have the most sweet tender little bodies.

A little silky head tucked under your neck and their little bodies curved in to your chest with their little warm breath against you is a type of heaven for me.

I get clucky just thinking about it lol.

#42 SuboptimallyPooks

Posted 02 May 2012 - 10:46 PM

QUOTE (meggs1 @ 30/04/2012, 07:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There's a reason they call it the fourth trimester.  Any other species and they would still be gestating. Hang in there.

Great point
QUOTE (Tea~for~two @ 01/05/2012, 04:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hehehe - this is what I think whenever I hold other people's newborns - and then it all comes back to me...

Newborns are so much nicer when they belong to someone else original.gif


QUOTE (nik_klinger @ 01/05/2012, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm quoting a friend of mine who is about to have her 3rd child,

"The first 12 weeks can be a very dark place",

I found this to be quite true. It became a bit of a mantra!!

I've discovered this.

Actually I think I'm just starting to sometimes have moments of enjoyment when ds recognizes me, and we have little games we do together and he gets into them quite quickly now. It's like, wow, you are a person, you have a personality, we have a relationship. The more this happens, the more i will bond and enjoy it, I think. I mean I've loved him before I met him, but enjoying him is something else. I wish people talked about this more openly. I'm telling all of my childless friends exactly how it is. If they find it easier than me, great. If not, at least they won't feel as weird and wrong as I did.

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