Jump to content

Not enjoying the newborn stage
Anyone else?


  • Please log in to reply
43 replies to this topic

#26 Relish*

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:07 PM

QUOTE (chookpea @ 30/04/2012, 04:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel guilty about it, but I'm really not enjoying it as much as I thought it would.  

I'm finding it so stressful especially when DS2 is asleep as DS1 is so LOUD and BANGING and STOMPING around the house.  Any discipline I had with DS1 before has gone out the window since DS2 is quite demanding.

I'm a bit sleep deprived which isn't helping.  

Just really looking forward to the toddler stage, or the stage just before it.  I think I will regret feeling this way, but I guess I am just missing my sleep too much, and having a routine and some predictability.  

But then I look into DS2's eyes and my heart melts.

Ahhh...brain is like mush now.

This is me, too, exactly. Just substitute DS1 with DD. The beauty of it being no 2 is we have some perspective that this too shall pass!

QUOTE (redkris @ 01/05/2012, 10:23 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Same. He's lovely today but age 2-3 was hellish. Not a fun year at all.
Having said that, he was an easy baby.

This is my DD, she was such a cruisy baby (hindsight helps in that regard though!) and is very challenging now at 2. DS is a much needier bub so far. He better be a friggin' delightful toddler!

#27 sleeplessmamma

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:17 PM

QUOTE (sophiasmum @ 01/05/2012, 12:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I always told myself, short term pain (newborn stage) for long term gain (the toddler stage).


My mantra, applies to anything in life!

#28 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:24 PM

I hated the newborn stage as well. My SIL is having a baby soon and a friend of mine is due next week and I get asked all the time if it is making me want another. Nope, no way. I don't like the unpredicatability of newborns and the sleep deprivation. But it does pass, and rather quickly in the scheme of things.

#29 melodypond

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:28 PM

I wouldn't be feeling guilty - you see so many people feel the same!  Newborns can be really hard work and the sleep deprivation and disruption to your settled life with your DS1 probably isn't helping matters!  

My second bub is great and I'm not hating it as I did with number 1, but I am still looking forward to a bit more predictability and settledness in this house!




#30 abc_123

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:41 PM

Another here who really disliked the newborn stage. In fact, I'm not a fan of the first 12 months at all! DS is now 14 months old, and I'm really beginning to enjoy hanging out with him now - tantrums and all original.gif

I used to cringe when he was a newborn and people told me that it was the best age. Best age? What the...? You're telling me it gets WORSE?

Thankfully it gets MUCH better as time goes by.

Hang in there original.gif

#31 Tea~for~two

Posted 01 May 2012 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 01/05/2012, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Aw, I love the newborn stage, they're just so squishy and lovable. They have the sparkliest eyes, too. Yes, it's hard, but it's a stage that is now gone for me and I miss it terribly.


Hehehe - this is what I think whenever I hold other people's newborns - and then it all comes back to me...

Newborns are so much nicer when they belong to someone else original.gif

#32 Kant Anchor Us

Posted 01 May 2012 - 05:17 PM

I didnt enjoy the stage from 1 - 5 months as DD had shocking reflux. I seriously want the next one to be 6 months old when it pops out - they are much more interactive and have developed personality by then.

Doesnt mean you are a bad mum or dont enjoy being a mum. Hope things pick up!

#33 katevin

Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:31 PM

Double post.

Edited by katevin, 01 May 2012 - 08:35 PM.


#34 katevin

Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:33 PM

QUOTE
I seriously want the next one to be 6 months old when it pops out - they are much more interactive and have developed personality by then.

Ouch blink.gif laughing2.gif

Would be lovely if you could somehow skip the horrible parts of those first 6 months though!

#35 JupitersMoon

Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:57 PM

The newborn stage was awful for me.
DD was a difficult baby, hated the pram, the car, anything other than non stop cuddles and/or bf, including at night, until... oh 12 months, still hated the car until she was turned FF about 14 months.  After that she got better and better, and is a delightful toddler so far - although she is still a crap sleeper. she has tantys but i understand what she wants, and can deal with it.
its only now at 22/23 months i am toying with the idea of another... and im still not ready to take that leap!

#36 belindarama

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:10 PM

The only thing stopping me from signing on for number three is the thought of being pregnant and the newborn stage.

I don't get the love for it. Yes, there are lovely moments but they are few and far between.

Three months of morning sickness and not sleeping, followed by 6 months of horrific back pain and not sleeping, followed by a newborn and not sleeping. Not sure I can face it...

#37 lylac

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:16 PM

I really really didn't enjoy my son as a newborn, my daughter wasn't quite as full on.
I'm really glad I'm not going back there.
I don't regret feeling that way - I'm just glad it's over.

#38 Madeline's Mum

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:17 PM

The first few months are hard. I didn't enjoy it at all. I found it wasn't until about 6 or so months that I really started enjoying him.

Don't beat yourself up, I bet you're doing an amazing job!

#39 nik_klinger

Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:22 PM

I'm quoting a friend of mine who is about to have her 3rd child,

"The first 12 weeks can be a very dark place",

I found this to be quite true. It became a bit of a mantra!!

#40 coolbreeze

Posted 02 May 2012 - 05:01 PM

Oh I love the newborn stage. If they stayed like that I would have a hundred! Predictable, Portable and Feed, Play and Sleep.
Now 18months to 3.5 I find more of a challenge, especially with my second, mainly because I had an older one to deal with and they are harder to communicate with. Lots of chasing down streets and re direction. Tantrums too!
He is four now, great age and the autumn of dependence and almost on the cusp of being a "boy" instead of a pre schooler.
They are still totally in love with you, have more common sense and can control emotions better. Plus they say the cutests things!
But look really, all in all most stages have there pluses and minuses, but I agree each to there own and it is natural to like some stages beter than others.
My mantra through these years are "the days are long, but the years are short" and I am sure I will look back at their babyhood with rose coloured glasses and love ever minute of it. Maybe we remember only the good bits.
Good luck
CB

#41 Mummy-2-1boy

Posted 02 May 2012 - 08:01 PM

I could have written your post word for word! I really don't enjoy having a newborn and a toddler! At least I'm not the only one that feels this way!

#42 Natttmumm

Posted 02 May 2012 - 08:06 PM

Newborn with another child at home is tough work. Hang in there those smiles are worth it once you get more sleep. My youngest is 2 now and sometimes I wish she was a newborn again happy.gif

#43 Oriental lily

Posted 02 May 2012 - 10:34 PM

I love the first year.
From newborn until they are walking.

Toddlers are the bigger challenge in my opinion. I would gladly list my 3 year old and 20 month old on eBay most days lol.

To be honest though I was terrified of my first newborn. I was totally lost and didn't have a clue. With my second and third I threw out the rule book and done my own type of attachment parenting. Co slept from day dot, baby carried and let routine develop at its own rate.

This really gave me freedom.

Newborns make my heart melt They amaze me and fascinate me and they have the most sweet tender little bodies.

A little silky head tucked under your neck and their little bodies curved in to your chest with their little warm breath against you is a type of heaven for me.

I get clucky just thinking about it lol.

#44 JuniPooks_

Posted 02 May 2012 - 10:46 PM

QUOTE (meggs1 @ 30/04/2012, 07:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There's a reason they call it the fourth trimester.  Any other species and they would still be gestating. Hang in there.


Great point
QUOTE (Tea~for~two @ 01/05/2012, 04:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hehehe - this is what I think whenever I hold other people's newborns - and then it all comes back to me...

Newborns are so much nicer when they belong to someone else original.gif


Agreed..

QUOTE (nik_klinger @ 01/05/2012, 09:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm quoting a friend of mine who is about to have her 3rd child,

"The first 12 weeks can be a very dark place",

I found this to be quite true. It became a bit of a mantra!!


I've discovered this.

Actually I think I'm just starting to sometimes have moments of enjoyment when ds recognizes me, and we have little games we do together and he gets into them quite quickly now. It's like, wow, you are a person, you have a personality, we have a relationship. The more this happens, the more i will bond and enjoy it, I think. I mean I've loved him before I met him, but enjoying him is something else. I wish people talked about this more openly. I'm telling all of my childless friends exactly how it is. If they find it easier than me, great. If not, at least they won't feel as weird and wrong as I did.




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.