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Anyone else scared of the birth?

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#26 Freddie'sMum

Posted 29 April 2012 - 08:56 AM

I think being scared of something you haven't done before is perfectly normal.

I have given birth twice - both times VB with very short labours.  That is *my* experience.

A few years later when DD#1 came home from childcare with gastro - and proceeded to pass it onto all the family - I told DH after we survived our brush with gastro - that I would rather push out twins than have gastro again !!

Read up as much as you want to - then trust your own body / your caregivers / and - as one of the PPs has mentioned - millions of women have done this - you can do it too.

And the absolute best thing is that at the end of giving birth you have a wonderful little newborn - at the end of gastro you simply feel human again !!

#27 ubermum

Posted 29 April 2012 - 08:57 AM

Op, I also recommend trying relaxation techniquies to deal with your fear. Fear makes you tense and anxious and actually makes the experience more painful.

#28 Have3Wanting4

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:01 AM

I'm due in 10 days with my 4th and am excited about it! Giving birth is the most painful thing I will probably ever go through but I get my baby after waiting to meet him the last nine months, I cannot wait!

#29 BeachedAsBro

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:14 AM

I got to about 30 weeks & realised that her head was going to poke through my vagina & was all "OMG DH, I don't want to do this anymore" she then turned posterior at 35 weeks & I was in agony, swollen & having very painful braxton hicks for the next seven weeks. By then I didn't care how she came out, as long as she did.

Remember OP, every birth & pregnancy is different. Generally the birth itself is a day or two out of your life & so many couples prepare for that 'moment' with  birthing lessons & birth plans etc. Sure have a good knowledge of what to expect, but I find it's far more beneficial to have knowledge about what happens when you're handed your baby & then when the MWs say "You're discharged today" & you walk into your house for the first time with a baby & think "OMG this is really happening".

Regardless of which care you decide on once pregnant (public or private) remember it's your body, yours & your partner's baby & ultimately whatever plans & choices are made are ones that you should feel comfortable with.

Good luck & sorry this is an essay!

#30 j-gray

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:32 AM

My DS' birth was the most wonderful experience of my whole life. Afterwards, DH asked me "So reckon you can do that again?" and I said "I'd do it again tomorrow". Granted, I had an epi... but you still feel quite intense pain in the last hour or so. It goes by so quickly, and afterwards I thought it had only been about 10 minutes!

Honestly, it's the easiest part original.gif

I felt better knowing what my options were. With pain relief, with birth methods etc. It also helped to see the delivery suites so that it was familiar when I got there.

Oh and TV / Movie births are so inaccurate it amazes me.

#31 willow79

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:47 AM

I think it's the fear of the unknown.  Doesn't really matter how much you research/plan, you never really know what's going to happen.

I'm 23weeks with my third and I'm still starting to feel nervous about the birth.  My first was pretty horrible & my second was a breeze.

Just remember in the scheme of things it really does only last a short time.

I think it's the fear of the unknown.  Doesn't really matter how much you research/plan, you never really know what's going to happen.

I'm 23weeks with my third and I'm still starting to feel nervous about the birth.  My first was pretty horrible & my second was a breeze.

Just remember in the scheme of things it really does only last a short time.

#32 GoodGollyMolly

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:56 AM

OP I was scared too, I think it's perfectly natural to be afraid. PPs have had some excellent advice. I found reading Birth Skills (recommended by my MW) to be extremely useful, not just for the techniques, but also for making me feel like I could actually do this!

I had no big desire for an all natural birth or anything but totally surprised myself by beig able to cope with the pain ok, I was in transition by the time we got to the hospital and DS was born 90 min after arriving! (there was lots of loud yelling on my part though original.gif but it was more groaning which was helping me cope rather than panicky screaming!)

I felt amazing afterwards and so proud of the way my body and DS had cooperated original.gif so lots of people have good stories about birth.

Now learning to breastfeed - that was a huge (and much more painful!) challenge that I wasn't ready for- my one piece of advice is to make an appointment with an LC even if you think you'll be fine. (we're happily BFeeding now)

Best of luck OP and no matter how your little one arrives it will be an amazing day that you should be incredibly proud of original.gif

#33 deejie

Posted 29 April 2012 - 10:09 AM

I think it is simply fear of the unknown.

Movies overdramatise birth because movies are meant to be dramatic. For every woman in a movie screaming her head off, cursing their partners and thrashing around there are many women out in the real world who handle labour with a bit more grace wink.gif Even in real life, nothing beats a dramatic story of days of labour and excruciating pain and so on and so forth. But you must remember that these are an individual's experiences and no one can say what will happen with your baby and your body.

Myself, I had one not so good birth and one awesome birth. You don't hear so much about awesome births because most people don't want to hear it!

Personally I found labour to me as much as a mental and emotional challenge as a physical one. If you can get yourself in the right headspace with a good support team around you it becomes much easier. I really recommend looking in to hiring a doula/private midwife to be an extra support person who can focus solely on you and your emotional/mental/physical wellbeing. A PPs suggestion of reading Ina May Gaskin is a good one.

Good luck:)

#34 SuboptimallyPooks

Posted 29 April 2012 - 10:17 AM

It can be horrible but it doesn't have to be. Educate yourself on your options and choose what is right for YOU. What is great for one woman may not be for the next. Everyone's birthing experience is unique.

#35 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 29 April 2012 - 10:17 AM

I was sh*t scared.

My mum almost died giving birth to me and the pain was so bad I thought I seriously thought I was going to die but you know what?

Its all worth it.

Im pregnant and doing it all again because yep its scarey and yep it hurts more than anything I could ever possibly imagine but you get through it and its all worth it.

#36 WaitForIt

Posted 29 April 2012 - 01:54 PM

I was scared.

Then I started thinking about bringing the baby home and now I'm thinking 'birth? pfft, who cares, its one day. wtf am I going to do with a baby????'.  ohmy.gif

Sorry, I'm probably not helping... my point is, the whole thing is pretty scary and life changing, it would be a very calm person to just waltz through it all without a care in the world.

#37 *molly*

Posted 30 April 2012 - 08:45 PM

Thanks ladies, I'm really touched by all the thoughtful and supportive responses! I'm starting to feel a lot better about it all and you've given me a lot of ideas of what to start reading up on.

Just waiting for DH to go out before I start watching birth videos - he's extremely clucky too but they might be a little bit confronting for him at this early stage! happy.gif

#38 Nut

Posted 30 April 2012 - 10:35 PM

There is a series that was running on Foxtel ages ago which may be still running, but you could probably find it if you searched for it. It's based in a birth centre in the US. It's a bit more natural and the stories are not so focused on what is interested and they don't all have epidurals (quite common in the US it seems, if the shows are anything to go by).

I think it's called 'Birth Day'.

Attended two births and it's a wonderful thing to be a part of.

#39 Miso_Missieys

Posted 28 July 2012 - 12:01 AM

For my first I hit about 30weeks then kind of compared it to being on a rollercoaster and no chance of getting off, not that I wanted to but the thought of labour started to make me nervous and then because it was such a smooth labour I wasn't nervous at all for number two, and boy was I wrong. He was posterior and it was awful. Now if I fall pregnant again i'll be really nervous. Labour is of course very painful, however it's kind of something that is worth it, at the end you have your baby in your arms and all is forgotten for that moment. Cant be too bad right, we keep going back for more original.gif You'll do fine, don't go in with any expectations, just let your body do what it needs to do, you'll be amazed at what the female body is capable of! Good luck. V

#40 Raley

Posted 28 July 2012 - 12:14 PM

I was quite scared but just thought i would go with the flow.

Then established labour kicked in and it was getting a bit uncomfortable. They offered me and epidural and I took it.

I feel like a cheated a bit as it wasnt that bad when they gave me the epi, but next time i hope to go for alot longer before i cave.  I was just scared and took the easy option (which i enjoyed very much at the time!).

#41 Kalota

Posted 30 July 2012 - 08:08 PM

I am... I am terrified sad.gif I am actually terrified and have a rather irrational fear. I don't want to have to do it...

I've been watching a lot of birth videos to prepare myself but it's just making things worse...

I am really not looking forward to it  cry1.gif

#42 Madnesscraves

Posted 30 July 2012 - 08:17 PM

Hi OP,
It's perfectly natural to feel scared, it's not something that you can experience beforehand!

Don't listen to people's horror stories. It will just make you more nervous.
Throw yourself into ante natal classes and research what kind of birth you'd like to have.

I did hypnobirthing, sadly didn't get to use my techniques, ended up with a c/s.

Point being, find something tO make you confident about birthing.

#43 Morti

Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:44 PM

I was a little scared of giving birth again earlier on in this pregnancy... but at 35 weeks now, I'm more scared of NOT giving birth!!  tongue.gif  (I'm soooooo over being pregnant and the discomfort that late pregnancy brings that a bit of short term pain in order to give birth sounds like sweet summer shower on a sunny day!!! LOL)

#44 Starrydawn

Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:58 PM

I was scared but more for the procedures they would do. I hyperventalate when they put a drip in let alone anything else. It's the not knowing that builds in your mind. Plus noone can really tell you how yours will be. Everyones  experience is different.

I am an avid reader and read books and magazines as they cover lots of information and different scenarios.

#45 OneProudMum

Posted 31 July 2012 - 12:18 AM

OP, dont be scared. You hear some horror stories and some inspiring ones but none of them will be like your experience.

It still helps to read up on inspiring ones, though.

If I can give you one piece of advice it's just to let go. Don't have expectations. Just give in, have faith in yourself and take it one moment at a time.

I am the biggest wuss on earth but I was lucky to have 2 amazing births and most memorably giving birth to my daughter in silence and after sleeping my way to 7 cms dialated. It happens. It can happen to you. xo

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