Jump to content

Anyone else scared of the birth?


  • Please log in to reply
44 replies to this topic

#26 Freddie'sMum

Posted 29 April 2012 - 08:56 AM

I think being scared of something you haven't done before is perfectly normal.

I have given birth twice - both times VB with very short labours.  That is *my* experience.

A few years later when DD#1 came home from childcare with gastro - and proceeded to pass it onto all the family - I told DH after we survived our brush with gastro - that I would rather push out twins than have gastro again !!

Read up as much as you want to - then trust your own body / your caregivers / and - as one of the PPs has mentioned - millions of women have done this - you can do it too.

And the absolute best thing is that at the end of giving birth you have a wonderful little newborn - at the end of gastro you simply feel human again !!



#27 ubermum

Posted 29 April 2012 - 08:57 AM

Op, I also recommend trying relaxation techniquies to deal with your fear. Fear makes you tense and anxious and actually makes the experience more painful.

#28 Have3Wanting4

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:01 AM

I'm due in 10 days with my 4th and am excited about it! Giving birth is the most painful thing I will probably ever go through but I get my baby after waiting to meet him the last nine months, I cannot wait!

#29 BeachedAsBro

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:14 AM

I got to about 30 weeks & realised that her head was going to poke through my vagina & was all "OMG DH, I don't want to do this anymore" she then turned posterior at 35 weeks & I was in agony, swollen & having very painful braxton hicks for the next seven weeks. By then I didn't care how she came out, as long as she did.

Remember OP, every birth & pregnancy is different. Generally the birth itself is a day or two out of your life & so many couples prepare for that 'moment' with  birthing lessons & birth plans etc. Sure have a good knowledge of what to expect, but I find it's far more beneficial to have knowledge about what happens when you're handed your baby & then when the MWs say "You're discharged today" & you walk into your house for the first time with a baby & think "OMG this is really happening".

Regardless of which care you decide on once pregnant (public or private) remember it's your body, yours & your partner's baby & ultimately whatever plans & choices are made are ones that you should feel comfortable with.

Good luck & sorry this is an essay!

#30 j-gray

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:32 AM

My DS' birth was the most wonderful experience of my whole life. Afterwards, DH asked me "So reckon you can do that again?" and I said "I'd do it again tomorrow". Granted, I had an epi... but you still feel quite intense pain in the last hour or so. It goes by so quickly, and afterwards I thought it had only been about 10 minutes!

Honestly, it's the easiest part original.gif

I felt better knowing what my options were. With pain relief, with birth methods etc. It also helped to see the delivery suites so that it was familiar when I got there.

Oh and TV / Movie births are so inaccurate it amazes me.

#31 willow79

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:47 AM

I think it's the fear of the unknown.  Doesn't really matter how much you research/plan, you never really know what's going to happen.

I'm 23weeks with my third and I'm still starting to feel nervous about the birth.  My first was pretty horrible & my second was a breeze.

Just remember in the scheme of things it really does only last a short time.

I think it's the fear of the unknown.  Doesn't really matter how much you research/plan, you never really know what's going to happen.

I'm 23weeks with my third and I'm still starting to feel nervous about the birth.  My first was pretty horrible & my second was a breeze.

Just remember in the scheme of things it really does only last a short time.

#32 GoodGollyMolly

Posted 29 April 2012 - 09:56 AM

OP I was scared too, I think it's perfectly natural to be afraid. PPs have had some excellent advice. I found reading Birth Skills (recommended by my MW) to be extremely useful, not just for the techniques, but also for making me feel like I could actually do this!

I had no big desire for an all natural birth or anything but totally surprised myself by beig able to cope with the pain ok, I was in transition by the time we got to the hospital and DS was born 90 min after arriving! (there was lots of loud yelling on my part though original.gif but it was more groaning which was helping me cope rather than panicky screaming!)

I felt amazing afterwards and so proud of the way my body and DS had cooperated original.gif so lots of people have good stories about birth.

Now learning to breastfeed - that was a huge (and much more painful!) challenge that I wasn't ready for- my one piece of advice is to make an appointment with an LC even if you think you'll be fine. (we're happily BFeeding now)

Best of luck OP and no matter how your little one arrives it will be an amazing day that you should be incredibly proud of original.gif

#33 deejie

Posted 29 April 2012 - 10:09 AM

I think it is simply fear of the unknown.

Movies overdramatise birth because movies are meant to be dramatic. For every woman in a movie screaming her head off, cursing their partners and thrashing around there are many women out in the real world who handle labour with a bit more grace wink.gif Even in real life, nothing beats a dramatic story of days of labour and excruciating pain and so on and so forth. But you must remember that these are an individual's experiences and no one can say what will happen with your baby and your body.

Myself, I had one not so good birth and one awesome birth. You don't hear so much about awesome births because most people don't want to hear it!

Personally I found labour to me as much as a mental and emotional challenge as a physical one. If you can get yourself in the right headspace with a good support team around you it becomes much easier. I really recommend looking in to hiring a doula/private midwife to be an extra support person who can focus solely on you and your emotional/mental/physical wellbeing. A PPs suggestion of reading Ina May Gaskin is a good one.

Good luck:)

#34 Feral_Pooks

Posted 29 April 2012 - 10:17 AM

It can be horrible but it doesn't have to be. Educate yourself on your options and choose what is right for YOU. What is great for one woman may not be for the next. Everyone's birthing experience is unique.

#35 Guest_Retro_Mumma_*

Posted 29 April 2012 - 10:17 AM

I was sh*t scared.

My mum almost died giving birth to me and the pain was so bad I thought I seriously thought I was going to die but you know what?

Its all worth it.

Im pregnant and doing it all again because yep its scarey and yep it hurts more than anything I could ever possibly imagine but you get through it and its all worth it.

#36 WaitForIt

Posted 29 April 2012 - 01:54 PM

I was scared.

Then I started thinking about bringing the baby home and now I'm thinking 'birth? pfft, who cares, its one day. wtf am I going to do with a baby????'.  ohmy.gif

Sorry, I'm probably not helping... my point is, the whole thing is pretty scary and life changing, it would be a very calm person to just waltz through it all without a care in the world.


#37 *molly*

Posted 30 April 2012 - 08:45 PM

Thanks ladies, I'm really touched by all the thoughtful and supportive responses! I'm starting to feel a lot better about it all and you've given me a lot of ideas of what to start reading up on.

Just waiting for DH to go out before I start watching birth videos - he's extremely clucky too but they might be a little bit confronting for him at this early stage! happy.gif

#38 Nut

Posted 30 April 2012 - 10:35 PM

There is a series that was running on Foxtel ages ago which may be still running, but you could probably find it if you searched for it. It's based in a birth centre in the US. It's a bit more natural and the stories are not so focused on what is interested and they don't all have epidurals (quite common in the US it seems, if the shows are anything to go by).

I think it's called 'Birth Day'.

Attended two births and it's a wonderful thing to be a part of.

#39 Miso_Missieys

Posted 28 July 2012 - 12:01 AM

For my first I hit about 30weeks then kind of compared it to being on a rollercoaster and no chance of getting off, not that I wanted to but the thought of labour started to make me nervous and then because it was such a smooth labour I wasn't nervous at all for number two, and boy was I wrong. He was posterior and it was awful. Now if I fall pregnant again i'll be really nervous. Labour is of course very painful, however it's kind of something that is worth it, at the end you have your baby in your arms and all is forgotten for that moment. Cant be too bad right, we keep going back for more original.gif You'll do fine, don't go in with any expectations, just let your body do what it needs to do, you'll be amazed at what the female body is capable of! Good luck. V

#40 Raley

Posted 28 July 2012 - 12:14 PM

I was quite scared but just thought i would go with the flow.

Then established labour kicked in and it was getting a bit uncomfortable. They offered me and epidural and I took it.

I feel like a cheated a bit as it wasnt that bad when they gave me the epi, but next time i hope to go for alot longer before i cave.  I was just scared and took the easy option (which i enjoyed very much at the time!).

#41 Kalota

Posted 30 July 2012 - 08:08 PM

I am... I am terrified sad.gif I am actually terrified and have a rather irrational fear. I don't want to have to do it...

I've been watching a lot of birth videos to prepare myself but it's just making things worse...

I am really not looking forward to it  cry1.gif

#42 Madnesscraves

Posted 30 July 2012 - 08:17 PM

Hi OP,
It's perfectly natural to feel scared, it's not something that you can experience beforehand!

Don't listen to people's horror stories. It will just make you more nervous.
Throw yourself into ante natal classes and research what kind of birth you'd like to have.

I did hypnobirthing, sadly didn't get to use my techniques, ended up with a c/s.

Point being, find something tO make you confident about birthing.


#43 Morti

Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:44 PM

I was a little scared of giving birth again earlier on in this pregnancy... but at 35 weeks now, I'm more scared of NOT giving birth!!  tongue.gif  (I'm soooooo over being pregnant and the discomfort that late pregnancy brings that a bit of short term pain in order to give birth sounds like sweet summer shower on a sunny day!!! LOL)

#44 Starrydawn

Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:58 PM

I was scared but more for the procedures they would do. I hyperventalate when they put a drip in let alone anything else. It's the not knowing that builds in your mind. Plus noone can really tell you how yours will be. Everyones  experience is different.

I am an avid reader and read books and magazines as they cover lots of information and different scenarios.





#45 OneProudMum

Posted 31 July 2012 - 12:18 AM

OP, dont be scared. You hear some horror stories and some inspiring ones but none of them will be like your experience.

It still helps to read up on inspiring ones, though.

If I can give you one piece of advice it's just to let go. Don't have expectations. Just give in, have faith in yourself and take it one moment at a time.

I am the biggest wuss on earth but I was lucky to have 2 amazing births and most memorably giving birth to my daughter in silence and after sleeping my way to 7 cms dialated. It happens. It can happen to you. xo




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Public welcome outside church for Princess Charlotte's christening

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have invited well-wishers to see Princess Charlotte outside church in Sandringham on day of her baptism.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Channel 10's Sarah Harris expecting first child

The Studio host Sarah Harris doesn't mind if her first baby is a boy or girl, but she does hope it is born with one thing in particular.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.