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Fall from change table :(


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#1 guilty_mum

Posted 28 April 2012 - 01:25 AM

I'm not a new member on EB but, for fear of recognition, created a new profile to post this message...

It happened around 9am Friday.  I was changing my 6.5 month old DS on a change table, which is in the bathroom.  He has a habit of rolling over and not letting me put his nappy on, so for the last month or so I've actually been putting his new nappy on while he's on the bed so if he rolls, he's got space to move forward without falling.

This morning, he didn't roll, and in fact was really good so I'd managed to put his nappy on without any drama.  Even after his nappy was on, he just lay there on his back with his feet in his hands.  So, clearly without thinking, I turned my back to go to the sink to wash my hands.  I hadn't even wet my hands yet, when I heard a loud THUD. He was face down on the tiled floor.

I panicked, picked him up, he was crying, I was in shock at what had happened, I didn't cry straight away.  Mum was here, she screamed at me, but DS seemed okay after crying for a couple of minutes.  I can't be sure what part of his body hit the floor first, and mind you, the table is a metre high...  I applied a cold wet towel to his head, because I assume he would've hit his head, but no sign of any bump.  No signs of any injury to the rest of his body either.

I didn't let him sleep straight after the fall, he nursed, then played for an hour before I let him go to sleep.  Meanwhile, I googled like hell for what to look out for.  I know I probably should've called a doctor or taken him to hospital, but I was scared, and mum assured me he'd be fine.  He woke an hour later, and was fine, his normal self.  He's been his normal self all day, thank goodness.  He's alert, moving, playing and eating/drinking like normal.  We've also had lots of laughs throughout the day, as usual.

He's sleeping now (of course, it's the middle of the night), and hasn't woken up crying like he normally would on his own.  I did wake him up before, and he fussed and cried at being made to wake up, which I was glad of.  I'm anxiously waiting for morning to see how he is then.  My stomach is still in knots over this incident.

I haven't told DH, and I don't plan on telling him, hence the extra precaution of anonymity.  I don't need the lecture about leaving my son to fall, I didn't do it on purpose, I'm the first person to scold DH if he took an eye off DS when he's looking after him.  Our relationship has been a little rocky since DS's arrival, and this would fuel bitterness that will know no end.  We both love our son to bits, but his dad tends to wrap him in cotton wool...

I know from reading a million posts from other people online who've dropped their babies, and they've been fine, that babies do fall and accidents do happen.  It's not like I abuse him or neglect him because I'm a drug-addicted nobody, but I feel like I am just that.  I just hope I haven't caused permanent injury to my son by neglecting to put him in a safe place while I cleaned up.  I feel so terrible, I've cried a few times about it throughout the day.

I couldn't sleep so wrote this message in the hopes that it would make me feel better to confess my crime, but all it's done is made me see how stupid I was.

#2 CocobeanLillylove

Posted 28 April 2012 - 01:33 AM

Hey we've all done stupid things that in hindsight seem even more stupid but I for one know how you feel and I'm sure many others do also. I would probably not sleep well either and would check on bubs a couple of times in the night.

#3 bakesgirls

Posted 28 April 2012 - 01:39 AM

bbighug.gif

I'm sure he will be fine. You didn't do it on purpose, and I'm sure it's a mistake that you wont make again. Forgive yourself.

Just check on him through he night and if anything seems off, then take him to be seen by a doctor.

My mother told me when DD1 was a baby that she was going to fall out of her cot if I didn't get my DH to adjust the height of the matress base. I told my mum to stop being silly. It took all of 3 seconds after I said that for my DD to stand up and lean over the cot rails, and out she fell- straight on to her head. Then there was the time she rolled off my bed on to the floor, I'm sure she hit her head that time also. You are not alone. We have all done something unintentionally.

#4 tenacious2

Posted 28 April 2012 - 01:40 AM

Another who knows how you feel. If you are still worried you could call your state's Health line - although they will require you to have baby awake and with you before they can make any assessments or recommendations. hugs to you, it's an awful feeling.

#5 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 28 April 2012 - 06:40 AM

Don't torture yourself.  Just chalk it up to experience.  I fell with my son in the bathroom. I hit my head and blanked out for a second, so I had no idea what bit of him hit the floor first.   I had a GP do a house call, and he told me that crying immediately and then settling to a cuddle was a great sign.  Absence of vomiting also good.   He told me to observe just as you have been doing.  

But next time don't be scared to get a doctor.  They've seen it all and won't be angry, but better safe than sorry.

#6 Escapin

Posted 28 April 2012 - 06:59 AM

I'd tell your husband, he'll be glad to know that you're not perfect either and in a few days/weeks, you will be laugh about it together original.gif

#7 Morti

Posted 28 April 2012 - 07:51 AM

Don't beat yourself up about it.  Accidents happen and your son is okay. original.gif I'll tell you what I was told by my child health nurse when I was freaking out because I had my 5 month old on my bed and she rolled off while I turned around to pick my 2 year old son up off the floor after he'd tripped over and started crying... this is just the first of many accidents she'll have in her life.  Try not to over-react otherwise you'll be a basketcase by the time she's 18!!! wink.gif


#8 Tea~for~two

Posted 28 April 2012 - 08:11 AM

Awwww - you poor thing! Yoy're probably going to be more scared than he is from this experience.

Hope the pp encouraged you enough to put your mind at rest and that you got some sleep!

Xxx

#9 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 28 April 2012 - 08:42 AM

Don't be so hard on yourself! It happens to the best of us. You are not a bad mum!

DD3 rolled off the bed a few times when she was a baby and she was fine. And my other kids would have too but I forgotten them now. I have never taken any of my kids to the DR's after a fall because they have always been fine. But if it happens again and your worried go to the DR. They will not judge you.

You are fine, your DD is fine. You did nothing wrong and you are not a bad mum!!!!

#10 Emily of New Moon

Posted 28 April 2012 - 08:55 AM

I just wanted to give you a  bbighug.gif

I can only imagine how you must feel and am forever worried myself that DD will also fall from the change table, sofa or bed one day.  Reading about others' experiences probably won't make you feel much better, but at least take comfort in knowing that it was an accident and you did not intentionally hurt him.  You are still a good loving mum.  Please forgive yourself.  original.gif

If you are still concerned today, I would take him to a doctor for a checkup.

bbighug.gif again.

#11 guilty_mum

Posted 28 April 2012 - 11:46 AM

Thanks for all the supportive words, ladies.  It hasn't diminished the fact that what I did was extremely foolish and stupid, but I've taken some comfort in knowing that it could've happened even if I was watching him the whole time.

I'm glad to report that we got through the night, and there are no outward signs that he suffered any permanent injury at this point in time.  I will, of course, be vigilant to any changes in his behaviour that would suggest otherwise.

#12 Roobear

Posted 28 April 2012 - 11:53 AM

Don't be so hard on yourself!

When DD was about 9/10 months old I was breastfeeding her in bed and dozed off only to be awoken by a loud thud as she rolled off the bed!

Glad your DS is ok original.gif

Edited by Roobear, 28 April 2012 - 11:54 AM.


#13 fezzy

Posted 28 April 2012 - 11:56 AM

I'd get her checked out. My nephew fractured his skull from rolling off his change table at about 8months.

Don't beat yourself up, these things happen. As much as you 'should' be doing the right thing all the time we are all guilty of doing the 'wrong' thing at times. My DD1 rolled off the bed once when I was brushing my teeth- I have no idea how she managed to get to the edge of the king size bed from the middle- I didn't even realise she could roll!!

Edited by fezzy, 28 April 2012 - 11:56 AM.


#14 Jax12

Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:01 PM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 28/04/2012, 04:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd tell your husband, he'll be glad to know that you're not perfect either and in a few days/weeks, you will be laugh about it together original.gif

I'd also tell your husband.  I wouldn't want DH to feel he needed to keep something like that a secret from me if it were the other way around.  Chances are he will be reassuring and help ease your guilt.

I haven't had DS fall off the change table but I did let him faceplant into the edge of your cot when he was on it - that was awful.  He also stood up when on the couch one day and ran, toppling face first off the edge.  It is the most horrible, scariest thing when these things happen and the guilt is awful.  All you can do though is learn from your mistakes and be more careful next time.

I think it's sad that you felt the need to go anon for this.  I'm sure all parents have shared a similar experience at one time or another.

I hope you are feeling a bit better now and your little one is okay.

#15 Soontobegran

Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:04 PM

I doubt there is parent alive who has not ' taken their eye of the ball' momentarily and had something like this happen.
It doesn't make you feel better knowing you aren't alone and it doesn't stop you thinking 'what if' but it does sound like he is fine.

I have done something awful to my son, my fault completely allowing him to climb onto a bar stool at age 13 months. He got to the top and as I walked over to get him he fell and I grabbed the first body part I could which happened to be his ankle and I broke a bone in it.
I was embarrassed to tell the doctor and was guilt ridden to tell DH that I really was at fault. It certainly made me more vigilant from then on in.
The little plaster cast is in his little box of memories and he now has great pleasure telling people that "mum broke my leg"

Go easy on yourself and just watch him like you have been and take him to the ER if there are any changes in his behaviour.
Good luck


Edited for crazy DP

Edited by soontobegran, 28 April 2012 - 12:05 PM.


#16 MrsNorthman

Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:21 PM

DD1 rolled off the bed at 7 months - I was terrified sad.gif

I would still take him to the GP tbh.  I am haunted by a friend's sister whose son at 6 months fell off the change table and became blind and never ended up being able to walk or talk sad.gif  Its incredibly sad and I don't tell you to make you feel bad but to remind us all that there can be very serious consequences.

#17 Silly Sausages

Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:42 PM

Hi OP,

I had a similar thing happen when my DD was 9 months old. I had her sitting up on the change table and I turned my head for a split second to get some clothes from her wardrobe (didn't have to move far to get them) and she tumbled off and landed head first on our hard floor. She narrowly missed the corner of a table and the thud was horrendous!!

It was the worst feeling in the world. We did take her straight to hospital though where they monitored her for 4 hours for any head injury but luckily she was all good.

I did tell my husband- I rang him as soon as it happened as he was at work and I think you should tell your DH too OP. It was an honest mistake and one you probably wont ever do again  wink.gif . You are only human and it happens to the best of us.

Don't beat yourself up over it though, what is done is done and you have learnt from this so that is good enough original.gif.

Don't worry what your DH will think or say, because one day he may find himself in the same situation, heaven forbid!

Nobody is perfect!

Edited by shannon26, 28 April 2012 - 12:44 PM.


#18 guilty_mum

Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:33 PM

Try as I may, I have not been able to find the courage to fess up to DH.  It's been eating me up inside, knowing I let this happen to my perfect little boy.  A few weeks ago, DS had rolled over on the 5cm thick foam mattress on the floor (his play mat), landing head on top of a hard plastic toy.  He screamed and cried, and DH hasn't let me forget that, because I was watching him play.  I can't imagine what he would do if he knew that DS fell off the change table while I was supposed to be watching him...  I don't know, I want to tell him, but I also don't want to tell him...

#19 Iliketoflounce

Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:41 PM

At 18 months I rolled of an 8foot balcony onto gravel cause my dad was not paying attenion and I was ok

My mum was hanging washing on the line at the time and saw me fall she ran over to try catch me

#20 Vickery

Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:43 PM

The most concerning thing about this is that you won't tell your DH.  Imagine the shoe on the other foot and he held this back from you.

I'm not saying that in the context of how big a deal it is and he deserves to know, but surely in the normal course of conversation about your day it would come up?

Edited by Vickery, 28 April 2012 - 09:45 PM.


#21 podg

Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:44 PM

It's about that stage that I start changing them on the floor. No place to fall from there.

Poor you. Kids climb, they trip, they misjudge, they drive fast, they get away with so much potential disaster that it's amazing any of us parents retain our sanity.

I would be scared to tell your DH too, it doesn't sound like he's had a similar experience yet. But he will.

Edited by podg, 28 April 2012 - 09:47 PM.


#22 Sancti-mummy

Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:46 PM

You know the saying "you don't know how to ride a horse until you have lost count of the times you have fallen off"

I am sure there is a similar saying for motherhood and children's injuries...

I once had a marketing lecturer who said that there is always 2 reasons to do something - the "right" reason and the real reason.

One of the reasons why I have never had a change table is because I was scared the baby would fall (another reason is the bed, floor or lap has always perfectly fine for my purposes)

I do think, however, from your story and comments that you and your husband need to cut each other (or at least him toward you) a little slack in what will happen without hypervigilence.

Good luck.

#23 Charli73

Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:50 PM

Ive done the same thing...

At 7 months DS rolled off our bed onto the floorboards, I felt awful but he cried when I picked him up then he started to laugh once I sang to him so i figured he was ok.... I called DH right away and he was fine, it couldve happened to him anytime too...

Then at 9 months DS rolled head first off the change table onto the floorboards but he did land on the spongy bubba mat which softened the fall but again I felt like such an idiot!!!    Again he was fine and Ive learnt my lesson now that he is a wriggly one that I must watch at all times.....

Dont beat yourslef up about it, theyre going to have more spills and falls as they get older...

#24 jennywin

Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:55 PM

Calm down woman!! He is okay!

He cried straight away so thats a good sign, and no concussion symptoms. Take a chill pill.

#25 danielle1985

Posted 28 April 2012 - 10:11 PM

I understand your upset but you are far from the first and far from the last, to have this happen. 3 cubs and mums in my mothers group have had the same thing and the ONLY reason it hasn't happened to me is because we use a mat on the spare bed.

I agree with the PP's comment about "you don't know how to ride a horse until you have lost count of the times you have fallen off". I used to jump a mile when my son fell when he first started walking, with time you learn that falling is a part of learning, just check on them and try to stop it happening again (which you often can't).  ddoh.gif

As long as you have learnt a lesson from it and he is ok, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP!  bbighug.gif




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