Jump to content

how did your toddler handle the new baby?
What were those early days like?


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 neaka

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:17 PM

Hi all,

I am due to have #2 in 5 weeks time and i am starting to get anxious about how its going to change the family dynamic we have worked to hard up till now to establish!

Weve just entered a wonderful phase with DS who is sleeping perfectly and we are starting to feel human again! I am really concerned about how DS will handle it and how it will effect things like sleep and behaviour? I know every kid is different but how did bringing home your #2 effect #1?
Did your toddlers nightime sleep go up in smoke everytime the new baby woke for a feed or did they just get used to it?

Any advice on things i can do to make the introduction go as smoothly as possible?

many thanks!

#2 Mpjp is feral

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:21 PM

Mine suggested we put the baby in the rubbish bin! But sleep was all good!

#3 FeralFerretOfDoom

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:30 PM

Our little guy was 21 months old when DD arrived and he coped really well. If you don't already have it, I really recommend the book "There's a house inside my Mummy" - it was our bedtime reading every night in the leadup to her arrival! We also got a baby doll for DS before DD was born and encouraged him to look after his baby like Mummy would be looking after the new baby.

Some additional tips - when bringing him to the hospital for the first time to see you and meet the baby, have the baby in the bassinet so that you can cuddle him and make a fuss of him before bringing the baby into the equation. It also helps to have a little present "from the baby" for big brother.

DH and I split the work quite naturally so that he became the primary carer for DS for most of the time, allowing me to concentrate on DD. But we also made sure that I had some time when I'd do things like take DS to the park himself to have one-on-one time with me.

We also gave DS little jobs to do to help look after the baby, so he could pour some water over her head for bathtime, or fetch the nappy/wipes, put the nappy bag in the bin etc. I'd have a little pile of his books next to the couch so I could breastfeed with DS sitting next to me and read to him, or sing songs together.

Edited by RootFerretOfDoom, 27 April 2012 - 02:31 PM.


#4 sophiasmum

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:33 PM

DD1 had just turned 2 yrs old when DS was born. She didn't like it. She took it out on us with acting out behaviour for the first 3 wks or so, and then she must have realised he wasn't going anywhere LOL he was here to stay & maybe she got used to it so she settled down after that. We tried to keep her routine pretty good, so he fit in with whatever we were doing. I made sure to give her lots of attention & take her out every day, even if it was to playgroup in the morning or the park in the afternoon, so we weren't stuck at home bored all day with the baby.

DS was 3 yrs & DD1 was 5 yrs when DD2 came along, they were that bit older to actually understand what having a baby was all about & be some help or at least able to be occupied on their own if I was stuck breastfeeding or settling her. The first few months of that was hardest on me I think, learning to spread myself thinner amongst 3 & juggle their different needs (newborn, day care, school, home etc).

#5 IsolaBella

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

QUOTE
Some additional tips - when bringing him to the hospital for the first time to see you and meet the baby, have the baby in the bassinet so that you can cuddle him and make a fuss of him before bringing the baby into the equation. It also helps to have a little present "from the baby" for big brother.


We did this too.

22m between the boys. TBH DS1 had no real interest in DS2 until DS2 was about 6m of age and more interesting. Prior to that he basically ignored his sibling.

DS1's sleep etc stayed the same.

Very similar when DD arrived (for DS2 - 28m between them). DS2 basically ignored DD for the first months of her life. No changes in sleeping patterns.

DS1 and DS2 have been sharing a room since DS2 was 24m of age. Honestly we have had nightmares (crying hysterically), bad bouts of croup where we have ended up at the ED or even the occasional Chuck/Bedwetting incident which has required the bedding to be changed.... the boy unaffected sleeps straight through all the chaos.



#6 IsolaBella

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

QUOTE
Some additional tips - when bringing him to the hospital for the first time to see you and meet the baby, have the baby in the bassinet so that you can cuddle him and make a fuss of him before bringing the baby into the equation. It also helps to have a little present "from the baby" for big brother.


We did this too.

22m between the boys. TBH DS1 had no real interest in DS2 until DS2 was about 6m of age and more interesting. Prior to that he basically ignored his sibling.

DS1's sleep etc stayed the same.

Very similar when DD arrived (for DS2 - 28m between them). DS2 basically ignored DD for the first months of her life. No changes in sleeping patterns.

DS1 and DS2 have been sharing a room since DS2 was 24m of age. Honestly we have had nightmares (crying hysterically), bad bouts of croup where we have ended up at the ED or even the occasional Chuck/Bedwetting incident which has required the bedding to be changed.... the boy unaffected sleeps straight through all the chaos.



#7 Xander2

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:39 PM

My post would have been almost word for word the same as Rootferretofdoom's post.  My DS was 22 months old when DD was born.  We had the same book and did all the same things (got DS to do little jobs etc).  DS still loves putting DD's nappies in the bin and considers it his job and gets annoyed when anyone else does it  rolleyes.gif

DS has just turned 3 and DD is 15 months old, they still get along really well and are starting to play together which is lovely  original.gif

Good luck  biggrin.gif



#8 Natttmumm

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:43 PM

DD1 was 22 months when DD2 was born. We were really lucky as DD1 was great. The day DD2 came home she was a bit all over the place but more because I was home after 2 weeks in hospital. I remember he wanting all the babies things so we just let her have them and after a day she lost interest and was all back to normal. Her sleep was only messed up for that one day. She didnt wake up when I fed DD2 and it had no impact on her sleep or her behaviour.

I think its a good age gap

#9 Leha

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I had the same age gap as you and had no dramas at all really. I was worried as their doors are right next to each other but DD slept through almost everything. She is a heavy sleeper though. We bought a giant macca packa cuddle toy to DD from DS and I think that helped.

We also talked to DD about what would happen when DS came and tried to et er excited about it. I think at that age jealously isn't really a big issue but I guess also depends on personality of the child.

Edited by Leha, 27 April 2012 - 02:55 PM.


#10 new~mum~reenie

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:56 PM

DS lives babies, but it will still be interesting to see how it works out in 10 weeks or so....

We are having a home birth again, and I'd love for him to be there and maybe even involved. I think it will go a long way towards connection....

Sleep I'm not so worried about if breastfeeding goes well, as I like baby right next to me in a bassinet, so I can feed when baby starts the grunts before s/he starts to cry and wake DH - DS sleeps at the other end of the house, so doubt it will be an issue.
And he is down to about on accident a week at night, so hopefully that continues... So only one set of nappies to deal with, thankfully!

But still - will be interesting to see how the dynamic changes here too.

#11 neaka

Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:45 PM

Thanks so much for all the great tips and advice, i am feeling a little more confident now that we can keep everything on track!

We have already bought him a baby and a pram which he adores, i  should start doing the nappy thing and involving him with the baby doll abit more though. I have also ordered 'Theres a house inside my mummy' so hopefully that arrives soon and we can get reading, i have heard good things about it.

I think im just being overly anxious. DS seems so spoilt being the only child with the attention always soley focused on him i guess im just very aware of the massive change he is about to deal with, but it sounds like you have all done it well so hopefully we can too!

Thanks so much again, im sure ill be referring back to this thread often!
Good luck new mum reenie, id be interested to hear how you go! Good luck with your home birth, i wish i could home birth but im too chicken! All the best original.gif

#12 ubermum

Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:54 PM

Mine are 17months apart and we never had an issue. We were having the house remodelled when they were little and both their cots were in our room from the start. We just had a gap so the older one couldn't touch the baby.

I included the oldest one in everything and it was fine.




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

New mum Megan goes topless

Megan Gale has posed topless for magazine's 'sexiest people' issue, five months after welcoming her son.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.