Jump to content

how did your toddler handle the new baby?
What were those early days like?


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 neaka

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:17 PM

Hi all,

I am due to have #2 in 5 weeks time and i am starting to get anxious about how its going to change the family dynamic we have worked to hard up till now to establish!

Weve just entered a wonderful phase with DS who is sleeping perfectly and we are starting to feel human again! I am really concerned about how DS will handle it and how it will effect things like sleep and behaviour? I know every kid is different but how did bringing home your #2 effect #1?
Did your toddlers nightime sleep go up in smoke everytime the new baby woke for a feed or did they just get used to it?

Any advice on things i can do to make the introduction go as smoothly as possible?

many thanks!

#2 Mpjp is feral

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:21 PM

Mine suggested we put the baby in the rubbish bin! But sleep was all good!

#3 FeralFerretOfDoom

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:30 PM

Our little guy was 21 months old when DD arrived and he coped really well. If you don't already have it, I really recommend the book "There's a house inside my Mummy" - it was our bedtime reading every night in the leadup to her arrival! We also got a baby doll for DS before DD was born and encouraged him to look after his baby like Mummy would be looking after the new baby.

Some additional tips - when bringing him to the hospital for the first time to see you and meet the baby, have the baby in the bassinet so that you can cuddle him and make a fuss of him before bringing the baby into the equation. It also helps to have a little present "from the baby" for big brother.

DH and I split the work quite naturally so that he became the primary carer for DS for most of the time, allowing me to concentrate on DD. But we also made sure that I had some time when I'd do things like take DS to the park himself to have one-on-one time with me.

We also gave DS little jobs to do to help look after the baby, so he could pour some water over her head for bathtime, or fetch the nappy/wipes, put the nappy bag in the bin etc. I'd have a little pile of his books next to the couch so I could breastfeed with DS sitting next to me and read to him, or sing songs together.

Edited by RootFerretOfDoom, 27 April 2012 - 02:31 PM.


#4 sophiasmum

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:33 PM

DD1 had just turned 2 yrs old when DS was born. She didn't like it. She took it out on us with acting out behaviour for the first 3 wks or so, and then she must have realised he wasn't going anywhere LOL he was here to stay & maybe she got used to it so she settled down after that. We tried to keep her routine pretty good, so he fit in with whatever we were doing. I made sure to give her lots of attention & take her out every day, even if it was to playgroup in the morning or the park in the afternoon, so we weren't stuck at home bored all day with the baby.

DS was 3 yrs & DD1 was 5 yrs when DD2 came along, they were that bit older to actually understand what having a baby was all about & be some help or at least able to be occupied on their own if I was stuck breastfeeding or settling her. The first few months of that was hardest on me I think, learning to spread myself thinner amongst 3 & juggle their different needs (newborn, day care, school, home etc).

#5 Isolabella

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

QUOTE
Some additional tips - when bringing him to the hospital for the first time to see you and meet the baby, have the baby in the bassinet so that you can cuddle him and make a fuss of him before bringing the baby into the equation. It also helps to have a little present "from the baby" for big brother.


We did this too.

22m between the boys. TBH DS1 had no real interest in DS2 until DS2 was about 6m of age and more interesting. Prior to that he basically ignored his sibling.

DS1's sleep etc stayed the same.

Very similar when DD arrived (for DS2 - 28m between them). DS2 basically ignored DD for the first months of her life. No changes in sleeping patterns.

DS1 and DS2 have been sharing a room since DS2 was 24m of age. Honestly we have had nightmares (crying hysterically), bad bouts of croup where we have ended up at the ED or even the occasional Chuck/Bedwetting incident which has required the bedding to be changed.... the boy unaffected sleeps straight through all the chaos.



#6 Isolabella

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

QUOTE
Some additional tips - when bringing him to the hospital for the first time to see you and meet the baby, have the baby in the bassinet so that you can cuddle him and make a fuss of him before bringing the baby into the equation. It also helps to have a little present "from the baby" for big brother.


We did this too.

22m between the boys. TBH DS1 had no real interest in DS2 until DS2 was about 6m of age and more interesting. Prior to that he basically ignored his sibling.

DS1's sleep etc stayed the same.

Very similar when DD arrived (for DS2 - 28m between them). DS2 basically ignored DD for the first months of her life. No changes in sleeping patterns.

DS1 and DS2 have been sharing a room since DS2 was 24m of age. Honestly we have had nightmares (crying hysterically), bad bouts of croup where we have ended up at the ED or even the occasional Chuck/Bedwetting incident which has required the bedding to be changed.... the boy unaffected sleeps straight through all the chaos.



#7 Xander2

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:39 PM

My post would have been almost word for word the same as Rootferretofdoom's post.  My DS was 22 months old when DD was born.  We had the same book and did all the same things (got DS to do little jobs etc).  DS still loves putting DD's nappies in the bin and considers it his job and gets annoyed when anyone else does it  rolleyes.gif

DS has just turned 3 and DD is 15 months old, they still get along really well and are starting to play together which is lovely  original.gif

Good luck  biggrin.gif



#8 Natttmumm

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:43 PM

DD1 was 22 months when DD2 was born. We were really lucky as DD1 was great. The day DD2 came home she was a bit all over the place but more because I was home after 2 weeks in hospital. I remember he wanting all the babies things so we just let her have them and after a day she lost interest and was all back to normal. Her sleep was only messed up for that one day. She didnt wake up when I fed DD2 and it had no impact on her sleep or her behaviour.

I think its a good age gap

#9 Leha

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:54 PM

I had the same age gap as you and had no dramas at all really. I was worried as their doors are right next to each other but DD slept through almost everything. She is a heavy sleeper though. We bought a giant macca packa cuddle toy to DD from DS and I think that helped.

We also talked to DD about what would happen when DS came and tried to et er excited about it. I think at that age jealously isn't really a big issue but I guess also depends on personality of the child.

Edited by Leha, 27 April 2012 - 02:55 PM.


#10 new~mum~reenie

Posted 27 April 2012 - 02:56 PM

DS lives babies, but it will still be interesting to see how it works out in 10 weeks or so....

We are having a home birth again, and I'd love for him to be there and maybe even involved. I think it will go a long way towards connection....

Sleep I'm not so worried about if breastfeeding goes well, as I like baby right next to me in a bassinet, so I can feed when baby starts the grunts before s/he starts to cry and wake DH - DS sleeps at the other end of the house, so doubt it will be an issue.
And he is down to about on accident a week at night, so hopefully that continues... So only one set of nappies to deal with, thankfully!

But still - will be interesting to see how the dynamic changes here too.

#11 neaka

Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:45 PM

Thanks so much for all the great tips and advice, i am feeling a little more confident now that we can keep everything on track!

We have already bought him a baby and a pram which he adores, i  should start doing the nappy thing and involving him with the baby doll abit more though. I have also ordered 'Theres a house inside my mummy' so hopefully that arrives soon and we can get reading, i have heard good things about it.

I think im just being overly anxious. DS seems so spoilt being the only child with the attention always soley focused on him i guess im just very aware of the massive change he is about to deal with, but it sounds like you have all done it well so hopefully we can too!

Thanks so much again, im sure ill be referring back to this thread often!
Good luck new mum reenie, id be interested to hear how you go! Good luck with your home birth, i wish i could home birth but im too chicken! All the best original.gif

#12 ubermum

Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:54 PM

Mine are 17months apart and we never had an issue. We were having the house remodelled when they were little and both their cots were in our room from the start. We just had a gap so the older one couldn't touch the baby.

I included the oldest one in everything and it was fine.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.